4:20 PM
Learning Domestic Discipline
I've been told on more than one occasion that all the information on Learning Domestic Discipline is overwhelming and difficult to find at times. I do my best to make the site as easy to navigate as possible with tabs, labels, an archive of posts, and links to referenced topics in each post, but even with these options some things still get lost in the shuffle. For Learning Domestic Discipline's 100th post (yes, this is the 100th post!), I figured I'd put all the posts into one easy to navigate post of links.
If you have this site bookmarked, you may want to reset that bookmark to this specific page. It has virtually every post written on LDD (save the posts promoting the book and posts thanking readers and such), and will be updated each time a new post is published. It's a 1-stop shop for all of the past, present, and future LDD entries.
TIP: Remember to read the comments on the posts you read as many questions are answered within them.
I present to you the Learning Domestic Discipline Intersection.
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| Image courtesy of stockfresh.com. |
- Welcome to Learning Domestic Discipline!
- What is Domestic Discipline?
- Domestic Discipline Glossary
- Domestic Discipline Pros and Cons
- What IS and What IS NOT Domestic Discipline
- Spanking vs. Abuse: Clearing Up Misconceptions
- Discipline Spankings vs. Erotic Spankings
- Getting the Husband on Board With Domestic Discipline
- Spanking Implements
- Spanking Positions
- Over or Under the Clothes? - The Pros and Cons
- The Art of the Lecture
- To "Sir", or Not To "Sir?"
- Punishment #1: Corner Time
- Punishment #2: Bedroom Time
- Punishment #3: Beginner Level Spankings
- Punishment #4: Removing Privileges
- Effectiveness of Cues/Warnings ***NEW!***
- Rubbing Before, During, and After a Spanking
- Reinforcement/Rewarding
- The Power of Incentives
- The Importance of Consistency
- Addressing Spanking Issues - Hesitation
- Addressing Spanking Issues - Negotiating
- Addressing Spanking Issues - Movement
- Addressing Spanking Issues - Reaching
- Implementing New Rules
- Reverse Lecturing
- Corner Time Escalations
- Warm Up Spankings
- Punishment #5: Intermediate Level Spankings
- Maintenance Spankings
- Reminder Spankings
- Additional Punishments
- Immediate Swats
- Distance Discipline
- Punishing in Public - How to Handle It
- Domestic Discipline Boot Camp Basics
- Domestic Discipline Obstacles - Children
- Domestic Discipline Obstacles - Travel
- Domestic Discipline Obstacles - Injury (HoH)
- Domestic Discipline Obstacles - Injury (Wife)
- Silent Spankings
- Timed Spankings
- Punishment #6: Advanced Level Spankings
- The Importance of Crying
- Approaching Others About Domestic Discipline (HoH)
- Withdrawing Consent ***NEW!***
- Frequently Asked Spanking Questions - Part I
- Frequently Asked Spanking Questions - Part II
- Commenter FAQs - Communication Edition
- Commenter FAQs - Spanking Edition
- Commenter FAQs - Bump In The Road Edition
- FAQs - "Changing Dynamic" Edition
- FAQs - "Reluctancy" Edition
- FAQs - "Husband Accountability" Edition
- The Women's Perspective (by my wife, Chelsea, at Knowing Your Roles)
- The Women's Perspective: "What if my husband breaks a rule?" (by my wife, Chelsea, at Knowing Your Roles)
- Guest Blogger - The Wife's Viewpoint of Inconsistency... (by Rogue at Rogue's Awakening)
- The LDD Interview - My Wife Chelsea
- The LDD Interview - Ask A Doctor (Part I)
- The LDD Interview - Ask A Doctor (Part II)
- Appreciating My Wife
- Starting Maintenance Spankings
- A Lofty "No Spanking" Challenge
- My Inspiration To Be A Better HoH
- An Eye-Opening Hospital Visit
- It Feels Good To Be Back
- Getting Back On Track ***NEW!***
- May Couples Challenge: The Rules
- June Couples Challenge: Great Qualities
- July Couples Challenge: Great Qualities - Part II
- August Couples Challenge: Confessions
- September Couples Challenge: Planning Improvement
- October Couples Challenge: Spontaneity
- November Couples Challenge: Gratitude
- December Couples Challenge: Charity
- January Couples Challenge: Compliments
- February Couples Challenge: Addressing Faults
- March Couples Challenge: Appreciation
- April Couples Challenge: Spreading The Word
- Recipe - Potato Skins
- Recipe - Monkey Bread
- Recipe - Chip Dip
- Recipe - Marinated Pork
- Recipe - Sweet Snickers Surprise
- The Growing and Improving LDD Social Network!
- LDD Social Network Rates
- LDD Network Homepage/Sign Up
- Domestic Discipline Boot Camp Book ($9.99 at Lulu.com)
- Domestic Discipline Boot Camp Book ($9.99 at Amazon.com)
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25 comments:
Thank you Clint. This will make it much easier to navigate the site. Do you recommend that new couples go back and do all your challenges? If so, does the order matter?
I am sure this took some time to put this together this way, but I am also sure many will find this helpful. Great job here.
This definitely took some time and work to put together. Thanks Clint - will make it easier to find posts I want to refer back to. My only suggestion would be to put the "Intersections" link on the red banner at the top of the page - possibly to the right of the "Home" link.
Take care,
Cat
@Joanie - You're most welcome! Yes, I do recommend new couples do the challenges. The order doesn't necessarily matter with the exception of May's (that one should be first) and April's (should be done when you have more experience). Other than that, they're pretty interchangeable.
Good luck with the challenges!
@SNP - It took forever. Lol. Hopefully people find it helpful.
All the best to you, SNP.
-- Clint
Wow, your 100th post! Congratulations Clint.
Looks like you put a lot of time and effort into this intersection. I think a lot of people will find it very helpful. Thanks for all your hard work! :)
Hello Clint,
My husband and I have been lurking on your site for about a year now as we try to figure this lifestyle out. Th DD lifestyle, although somethign we both wanted was causing a lot of fights, as neither of us thought the other was taking it as seriously as they should.
Then 2 weeks ago my husband and I read literally every single one of your posts. Then everything came together for us. Things are going so smoothly now. He is stepping up as the HOH, so much so that when he delivered the first lecture after reading everything I felt guilter than I ever had before, I was reduced to tears before the first swat was delivered. Thanks to your site we both now fully understand our places and our roles.
I never thought I'd ever be thanking someone for helping turn my husband into the master of our house but THANK YOU. You have truly changed our lives! God Bless!
Devra
Clint,
Thank you for writing this. I was reading some of your material and have a question. I am Really interested in doing boot camp. I am a good girl, Tim would agree. I just need a strong leader. I like to play around and have fun. It is essential for me to be disciplined in order to stay positive.
That being said, we have no way of getting a house to ourselves for two days. We might be able to start with two mandatory apankings a day and crack down on rules, while rhe children are around. Do u think this is a good option to start with before we can do boot camp. We used to do a DOT (day of training) when we first were married, but then we got really lazy about DD. When we found your website we got refocused. Thank you! DOT was similar to boot camp, we had just never heard the boot camp term before.
Becky
Will
Hi Clint,
I'm over 50, and I've been spanking my wife for over 20 years now, so I'm not really here looking for advice, but was asked by a friend from church to drop in and check out your site. I should mention that my wife and I belong to a traditional church that emphasizes the principle of Biblical headship, and although not all couples in our church practice domestic discipline, a good number of us do and discuss some of our experiences and issues among ourselves.
Anyway, from what I've seen so far, checking through as many topics as possible, I am very pleased with what I see here, and certainly more impressed than what I have seen at some other spanking blogs or discussion groups I've been asked to check out!
And just being older doesn't mean that there aren't new things to learn! A few years ago, when my wife joined the Christian Domestic Discipline Group, it was the first time we came across the term: "maintenance spanking." I had always been aware that if my wife went too long without a spanking, it could lead to trouble; so I would find something, even a trivial excuse to give her a spanking when I felt the time was right. And, on her side, she admitted to often deliberately bratting, to provoke me to give her a spanking if she felt her butt needed some attention. Scheduling a moderate spanking at a regular interval is a much better idea than using a ruse or deception to accomplish the same purpose! Many other points mentioned here are similar to other approaches to DD; it seems that most of us agree on the basics, but just have a few differences on some of the specifics, like choosing proper spanking implements, whether the wife has to cry for a punishment to be successful, whether sexual arousal of the HoH or the wife is a problem, the importance of corner time after a spanking, non-spanking disciplines, setting rules and goals and on and on. I'm sure you could do at least another hundred posts and still not run out of topics!
Dear Clint, my HOH and I appreciate your blog very much and use it as a resource site. We have been having problems with after care and decided to look up what you had to say about it. To our utter surprise there is nothing listed about this very important topic! Is this an oversight? We see that you have the Lecture and much spanking info but nothing on after care. Mind making a post about it? We really need the help.
Thank you so very much for the consideration.
The link to the pros and cons article is going to creating a blogger acct, not the article. Just thought you should know. Love the blog!
What type of lecture do I give my wife before a maintenance spanking? The information provided about the lecture is in reference to a discipline spanking. How do they differ?
@Cat - You make a good suggestion. I'll see what I can do to make it easier to find this post. It has been added to the slideshow at the top, but it's a good idea to put it in the red banner as well. Thank you for the suggestion.
@Cowgirl Up - Thank you! It's pretty crazy to think this blog has 100 posts. I have to admit, I'm pretty proud of that milestone. :)
@Devra - Your comment means a lot to me Devra, thank you so much. I'm so happy to hear things are on the right track for you two. That makes all the time I put into the blog worth it, no question.
One thing I want to say real quick - I hope the lecture isn't making you feel so guilty that it brings you to tears from that guilt - that isn't the point and I hope my lecture post doesn't come across that way. The point is to help you realize how the behavior is/was dangerous or detrimental to the marriage in some fashion. I suppose that could bring guilt, but giving the wife a "guilt trip" isn't the primary reason of the lecture.
Anyway, I just felt compelled to include that in my response to you. I trust that the lecture is being done the correct way, and again, I'm so happy to hear about the progress in your marriage. I wish you many more happy years to come.
@Becky - It's best to do boot camp when children/roommates aren't around. I know you were probably looking for a way around that, but the honest truth is that you and your husband need to be alone with one another so you can focus solely on enhancing your marriage and making your love connection stronger during boot camp. It's also very very difficult to enforce the "no tolerance" policy of boot camp when children/roommates are around. Simply put, it's best to conduct boot camp when it's just you and your spouse.
I wish I has some magic suggestion for you, but that's the most honest answer I can give you. I hope you can find a way to do boot camp because it's truly yields amazing results. Good luck!
@Will - I'm glad you enjoy the site! Thank you so much for reading and supporting Learning Domestic Discipline.
There seemed to be some out there who thought I was crazy when I said there are some churches that discuss/encourage the DD dynamic in a marriage, but I know they're out there. Your comment means a lot to me since, basically, it's showing that there ARE churches out there that encourage a DD dynamic.
Anyway, there is certainly always something to discuss when it comes to Domestic Discipline, so I hope to keep the blog running for another 100 posts! I appreciate you taking the time to offer your feedback.
All the best to each of you.
-- Clint
@Anonymous (August 14th 7:53 AM) - By aftercare do you mean the comforting after a spanking, or what specifically do you mean?
I'd be happy to do a post on something like that, and once I receive clarification from you on what exactly you mean, I'll certainly consider it for a future post. Thanks for the suggestion!
@Anonymous (August 14th 9:45 AM) - Thank you so much for bringing that to my attention. It turns out there were several links that were incorrect. Hmm. I'm not sure how that happened, but all should be fixed now. Thanks again!
@Anonymous (August 15th 9:45 AM) - The lecture prior to a maintenance spanking does not need to be nearly as psychologically intensive as a lecture prior to a punishment spanking. The maintenance spanking concept is to help keep the wife on the correct path/track and to prevent any major slip ups from occurring in the near future, so the lecture prior to a maintenance spanking should compliment that purpose. Maintenance is also to reconnect a bit, and to remind each spouse of their role in the marriage. A lecture prior to a maintenance spanking should be relatively brief, if one is even done at all.
I hope this helps. All the best to you.
-- Clint
Just call me Lucy Ricardo, because that is my personality in a nutshell... My HOH struggles with me, but I think deep down I always keep him laughing...
Clint,
Thank you for your honesty. We will pray about it. Thank you for your help.
Becky
Thank you so much for your blog, I stumbled onto by accident a couple Weeks ago(actually I believe whole heartily it was a God send) and asked my fiancé to check out your page with me, he was hesitant at first, but I have been reading up on DD naturally I have been a totally different girl the past week. Well yesterday he came home from work and I had seen something on his fb page that upset me, I acted like a child throwing a temper tantrum, I was so embarrassed for acting that way. He had worked all day, happy to come home to the girl I had been the last week and was bombarded with childishness, when we went to bed last night he wanted to know what happened to the girl I had been all week, I explained the best I could, I need him to lead me with as strong hand always, after I told him everything I've learned from your blog, we talked about what was expected me, and holding me accountable for my own actions, I felt soooo bad for what I had done to him the last 5 years of our relationship, last night he told me this past week he's felt more like a man than he ever has, we're closer than we've ever been, and I feel more loved protected and cherished than I ever have in my entire life! Being in DD relationship has brought us so close in just a week, I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives growing closer thx again Clint!!!!
@Lucy Ricardo - Consider it done. If and when you comment again, just use the name Lucy Ricardo. It'll help me to identify who you are. Lol.
@Becky - You got it, Becky. I'm always happy to help where I can.
@Anonymous (August 17th 1:27 PM) - Wow. Your comment means so much to me, thank you. I try to make it clear to readers how much comments like this mean to me, but I don't think I can truly express it in words. I'm very humbled, and so very happy for you and your fiance.
You two are starting DD at the perfect time. You're engaged and heading into marriage, and I assume you do not have children yet (Sorry if my assumption is incorrect!). Having the opportunity to correct any relationship issues and iron out all the wrinkles in the relationship BEFORE you get married and start having children will bring you both (and your future children) many many years of happiness. Nothing is better for a new marriage, and nothing is better for children being brought into this world, than a healthy, stable, respectful, harmonious living environment. Kudos to you two for taking the leap into the DD lifestyle.
Thank you, once again, for your wonderful comment. It's one of my favorites. I wish you nothing but much health, happiness and harmony as you two begin your lives as a married DD couple together. All the best to you both.
-- Clint
Hey Clint, I'm the one who just stumbled onto Ur blog and introduced DD and Ur page into my fiancé and my relationship, I wasn't going to reply to Ur post because frankly I was embarrassed to say I have two children already, not by my fiancé. I couldn't stop thinking about what if another mom stumbled onto Ur page and felt the same embarrassment I did, I had to make sure anyone who didn't know, knows now that learning DD has helped more than just my fiancé and I but my children also! The day I started respecting his HOH position my two boys followed also, this has been a hard life for me, I had my first son at 17 then my second son at 21. I met my fiancé at age 23 and he's struggled for 4 years to love me through my problems. The DAY we brought DD into our relationship the spiraling stopped, I can't say enough this is the only way to stop damaging behavior in a relationship and start building the strongest bond I've ever had! Sorry so long, LoL. I just didn't feel right, thinking it was a possibility a girl like me would find this page and let her think for two seconds that this isn't the best thing for her family too!! Thx one more time Clint! -forever grateful
@Anonymous (August 20th 9:37 AM) - There's no need to be embarrassed whatsoever. I'm sure that, like you said, there are many other women/mothers in the same position you are that are happy to hear they're not alone in what they're going through. Everyone has different struggles in life, and with the right attitude, those struggles can be dealt with appropriately and, in many cases, overcome.
It's so wonderful to hear that DD has made such a big impact on your life (in a good way!). It's even better to hear that your children are following your lead in respecting your HoH. Kids are so smart and they definitely pick up on things like that quickly. It sounds like your family is on the right track to health and happiness, and I couldn't be happier for you. If LDD played even a small part in that, then I'm so thrilled and honored. :)
Thanks for sharing your inspiring story. I wish you many many years of continued happiness.
-- Clint
Dear Clint, thank you for responding to our request for more information about aftercare. To clarify, we seem to have lost our way about it's purpose, what to do during it. At first it was so natural for us to hold and kiss but over time the feelin gs changed to a regular occurrence and aftercare changed to a hug and a kiss. I (the wife) feel neglected and lost while my HOH falls asleep. The dynamics are all off. We have talked about it but he thinks I only want sympathy and MORE attention after he has just given me a lot of attention (the spanking).
Please spell it all out for us Clint step by step. Sometimes the simplest of things can be complicated when people don't understand.
Thank you so much!
@Anonymous (August 23rd 4:26 PM) - Thank you so much for clarifying. I think your suggestion is a good one, and I'll certainly keep it in mind for a future post. I appreciate the idea!
All the best to you.
-- Clint
I am what you might say new to this or an old timer I'm still not sure. My husband and I have been together since I was 18 I'm 37 now. From the beginning he was HoH something we both agreed, wanted, and needed for our relationship. I was never disciplined as a child neither of my parents ever spanked me and I pretty much got away with anything because I am the youngest of 6 kids. Although I felt something was wrong with me because I always new from a very young age I wanted to marry a man that would be HoH and I ofcourse met my now husband who was the first and only person to ever spank me, what I used to find shocking and strange until I came across your site is that I'm the one who asked him. I didn't know of and am now just learning of DD. Throughout the years we lost touch he has always worked and provided for us and I have always been a stay at home mom out of choice it was my dream with that i took on all the responsibilities I ofcourse pick out his clothes, pack his lunch, wake him up for work, on top of doing the same for 3 kids, take care of the dogs, pay all the bills , balance the bank, then the normal everyday cleaning, laundry, dishes,cooking etc. which I absolutely love and wouldn't have it any other way. I strive to be the best wife, mom, and person I can be. I don't drink, smoke or do any really bad things sorry if this post is so long what I'm trying to say is somehow we lost track , lacked consistency, and I was able to get away with the more minor things like being stubborn, mouthy, which led us to fighting, yelling and arguing and our marriage a mess. I said alot of prayers, found your site, I know theres no right or wrong way but I'd like to find a more effective way and enjoy the many more years of my marriage. Again sorry for the long post and thank you for the wonderful site.
I wish I had found this page earlier!
There's so much on this site, that I have found myself going round in circles sometimes, knowing that I have read something SOMEWHERE but couldn't find it again (especially if it was in one of the posts rather than the article itself).
Just a thought though, I think I would have been tempted to click on this page (and therefore discovered its usefulness) sooner had it not been titled "LDD Intersection". The title had no meaning for me at the time so I ignored it. Anyway, I've found it now and so glad I have. Just thinking about other newcomers to your site.
I know how difficult it is to make/keep a resource such as this easy to navigate and to find specific things that you are looking for so my comment is in no way a criticism. I think it is a great site and Clint, you have done an excellent job.
All the best,
Ezz
@Anonymous (August 27th 9:11 AM) - I apologize for the incredibly late response to your comment. I took a little time off from blogging, and I'm trying to get all caught up again.
It's unfortunate to hear that things got a little off track in your marriage. Hopefully you two can bring the DD dynamic back into your marriage, and continue forward with the happiness and harmony you both deserve. Best of luck to you, and thank you for the kind words about the site. I appreciate you reading.
@Ezz - Yes, the title of this post may be a bit confusing to readers. If something better comes to mind, I'll consider changing it.
This page was designed to help navigate the site a little easier, so I hope it proves to do just that for you. :)
All the best.
-- Clint
@Clint
Yes, this page does make it much easier to navigate the site and to re-find things that I've read previously. I've now got this page bookmarked so I always start from here.
Thanks,
Ezz.
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