Saturday, February 23, 2013

Being Approachable as Head of the Household

  Every Tuesday night is Men's Night in the LDD Network. On one such night, the men discussed how important it is to be approachable as head of the household.  It is an important topic, and one we felt was important to elaborate on in a post dedicated to the idea.

To read this article on our new website, please click here.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Resources to Strengthen Your Domestic Discipline Relationship


For Valentine's Day, we outline a number of resources to help make your domestic discipline relationship as strong as it can possibly be.  You can read this article on our new website by clicking here.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Quiet Spanking Implements

  Given the frequency we get asked about quiet spanking implements, we felt it was best to simply dedicate an entire post to them. We outline a number of quiet spanking implements for those wishing to keep their spankings out of the earshot of others.

To read the rest this article on our new website, please click here.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

An Unfortunate Circumstance Surrounding Domestic Discipline Boot Camp (UPDATED WITH VIDEOS)


To watch the videos, please visit the new site.  Thank you.

(Updated on February 5th at approximately 9:30 AM EST time)

This morning we received more information of "Mr. BB Spanker's" lies. It appears MrBBSpanker has decided to now go into a group on Fetlife, a popular fetish based site for BDSM, Master/slave, and other types of kink, and continue his lying there since he has been called out for lying on his blog.

Below is a screenshot of his latest lies.


1. "MrBBSpanker" is now claiming that we have "edited and manipulated" the screenshots we put up in the first part of this post (scroll to the very bottom). The proof is really black and white, and we're not sure if "Mr. BB Spanker" just completely lacks reading comphrension skills or is imaging things that are not there. He, and everyone else, is well aware those screen shots were taken directly from his blog and the original article we linked contains zero of the footnotes that he added in himself. The original article is still up for everyone to see: and the footnotes that exist on his blog entry, as posted below, are no where in that original article. That is very simple, and very black and white. If "Mr. BB Spanker" is claiming that the footnotes he added in/created himself are a part of the original entry then we encourage him to show everyone where in that original entry (found here: that they exist. Sound shocked everyone, but that will never happen.

2. "MrBBSpanker" claims he has "since proven that the footnote was from the original author". Where is that proof?

We could go on and on about this, but we will once again let the proof speak for itself.
If you're new to this post, and just want the basics, we have outlined them for you below.
  • A blogger by the name of "Mr. BB Spanker" put up a post several months ago in which he stole content from one of our domestic discipline boot camp books and added that content (extremely rephrased/watered down/half-incorrect) into a persons essay from a BDSM training period in 2005, then marketed that post as being "the original" and lied to the domestic discipline community for months about it. (Scroll down to the bottom of this post to see the proof)
  • That same blogger ("Mr. BB Spanker") then completely ignored the proof we posted (because it's pretty black and white) and moved on to attacking the fact that we had a miscarriage. (See the February 3rd update for proof)
  • Then, that same blogger ("Mr. BB Spanker") ignored that proof (because, once again, it's pretty black and white) and resorted to lying some more. A woman named Debbie from within the domestic discipline community was one of many who left a comment on "Mr. BB Spanker's" blog letting him know how ridiculous he is being. "Mr. BB Spanker" then used that as an opportunity to manipulate and lie again, this time by changing almost every word in her comment to reflect highly of himself, as opposed to what her original comment said. He used her comment as a framework to create a comment about himself,  then posted it on his blog. Thankfully, Debbie realized his sick lie, and contacted us with her original comment, and his newly revised and re-written comment. (See the February 4th update for the proof)
  • When "Mr. BB Spanker" realized that his blog had been exposed and proof had been given that he lied, he went into a group on Fetlife and spread more lies to the BDSM/Master slave fetish community (which you can read above).
This entire blog entry is full of screenshots, and proof, that this individual has lied multiple times to multiple members of this community, not just us. Because he cannot prove that the below did not happen (because the evidence has piled up really high against him) he has now resorted to lying about proving everything.

As we have stated, this post will continue to be updated with all of this individuals lies until he stops. Shortly (maybe as soon as today), Learning Domestic Discipline will resume to normal (with new content, and back to work on some of our current projects we are getting ready to launch) but this post will continue to be updated as needed.

We have the comments disabled on this post because we do not want to give "Mr. BB Spanker" another outlet to fuel his drama and another place to create fake comments. He has lied enough on his own blog, but we won't tolerate his lying on ours.

-Clint and Chelsea


(Updated on February 4th at approximately 2:00pm EST time)

(Please note we are continuing to disable comments on this post so that our site is dedicated to providing the facts and proof, and is not a source for "Mr. BB Spanker" to continue his drama)

Throughout the course of this saga we have received numerous emails. One in particular stuck out to us that we received this morning. This email is from a woman who left a comment on "Mr. BB Spanker's" blog yesterday evening. She left the comment anonymously to protect her identity. After leaving the comment, she realized that this absolutely ridiculous individual has taken her comment, twisted her words, and republished it with his own words. This is, yet, another lie by this sick individual.

Below is yet more proof of this "Mr. BB Spanker's" lies not only about us, but the entire community.
The first two screenshots are of the email this person sent us. We responded to her email asking if we could screenshot her email for our blog, and she responded with yes, but she requested we protect her identity. To honor her request, we have blacked out her last name, and a portion of her email address.  It is broken into 2 screenshots to include the whole email, and reduce file size.

(Click on any screenshot to enlarge it, and to read it clearly if it cuts off for you)

And, here is the screenshot of the comment that "Mr. BB Spanker" wrote himself, using her comment but severely twisting the words.


Our goal since the beginning of writing this post was to present the truth, the facts, and the proof to this community. What you will read below, and what you see above, is full of screenshots, facts, and evidence that this individual has a very sick agenda backed with lies, manipulations, and more. It is evident that he changes, rewords, and writes comments on his blog to make himself appear better. It's also evident that he plagiarizes blog content, and highly distorts a very large number of both content and comments on his blog.  If he is willing to lie and severely change comments on his blog, what else has he done? This completely discredits his entire site, and this was a highly unintelligent move on his part.

The woman who sent us that email has no reason to lie. Furthermore, this is an individual that we have had NO contact with in the past aside from a welcome message to our forum. This woman clearly has not taken sides, from the beginning, and yet has been completely taken advantage of by "Mr. BB Spanker" who now not only owes us an apology, but this woman (and MANY others in the community) as well.

We would love for "Mr. BB Spanker's" lying to end. But we fully understand that with this individuals personality type, it will not and that is unfortunate.

In the upcoming days we will resume to our mission for our site which is to help both beginners and experienced couples navigate this often overwhelming and confusing lifestyle. We will return to posting content, and working on the upcoming avenues we have planned for Learning Domestic Discipline. However, this post will continue to be updated. With each lie that is said we will respond. We will not end this as we now firmly believe this has changed from someone with jealousy to someone who has problems that run much deeper. We have tried to be nice, supportive, understanding and reach out to "Mr. BB Spanker" but there comes a point where the evidence against him piles up and the attacks become unnecessarily personal, and we cannot continue to allow this individual to lie to, and about, a community that we deeply care about.

A united domestic discipline community has the strongest voice.  You have the power to unfollow the "ADDS" blog and Twitter page; you have the power to delete "Mr. BB Spanker's" insincere comments from your blog; and you have the power to remove him from your blogroll.  You have the power to make the strongest statement of all.

-Clint and Chelsea



(Updated on February 3rd @ approximately 6:30pm EST U.S. time)

As we all expected, the person in which this post is about has responded/updated his original post. We fully expected his response to contain more lies, and inaccurate information. However, we don't think anyone (including us) saw the magnitude of what was coming. As someone who claims to be a leader, pioneer and experienced member of this domestic discipline community, we were shocked that the morals he holds so highly on his site (such as communication, honesty, and respect) turned out to be, yet another, lie. 

As the title of this post eludes to, this is yet another unfortunate circumstance. The author of the blog we refer to in our original post below has now taken it upon himself to personally attack us in such a way that is not only completely sickening, but evil. 

In his update (on his original post) he begins by rambling on about sentences that not only lead us to believe he completely lacks reading comprehension skills, but also further leads us to question what his true intentions with his blog are. What we find the most ironic is, in his slew of personal insults, self-promotion tactics and lies, he does not ONCE address the proof we have posted below that he has lied to this community.  We will take this as an indirect admission that he did, or was highly involved, in what we have posted below. Instead, he has created new allegations (and lies) in an attempt to deflect the fact that he lied to the community (and is continuing to do so).

To briefly address his two newest allegations:
  1. The blog author is claiming that our website receives 20 hits per day. We really aren't sure whether to laugh or just be annoyed by this absolutely ridiculous statement. As someone who clearly cares a GREAT deal about popularity, self-promotion and traffic numbers, we thought for sure he would know where to search to find accurate information. Ironically, this same person removed his site from  the inaccurate stat tracker he was using (which is well known to be inaccurate by doing some research including this), so that we (nor anyone else) could call him out on yet another lie. However, what we can do is say this..we have NEVER wanted to make this post, or "war" that this blogger has started, about numbers. We do not have a public hit counter displayed on our website and we do not repeatedly tweet or promote that we are the #1 domestic discipline site. We let the numbers do the talking. 
My husbands blog (an entity of our site, because our Learning Domestic site is too new) is ranked #1 on Google, the largest search engine in the world, under the term "domestic discipline". Alexa, the worlds largest (and most popular) website database, uses a number ranking system to rank the popularity of a website based on 2 factors: the average number of visitors per day, and the average number of visitors in a 3 month time-span. Like we said, we REALLY didn't want to turn this into a "who's more popular" competition because, to us, it does not matter. But, since we were provoked, and more lies were spread by this individual, here we go..

Below we have a screen shot of, our new site. The blue box further explains how the traffic rank is calculated:


And now we have a screen shot of the other bloggers Alexa ranking:


We could go on and on with more screen shots, stat counters, bandwidth usages, and more. But, for now, we'll just let that speak for itself.

The second thing we would like to address is a more major one. This blogger is lying (once again- this seems to be a very common theme) that an incident that he refers to as a "sick and dying incident in November of 2012" was a fraud for monetary gain. There is not one ounce of truth to this (and, deep down, this blogger knows that).

The incident that he is very incorrectly referring to happened on August 28th, 2012 (not November). It also wasn't a "sick and dying incident". My husband and I have purposely refrained from sharing the details of this incident with the general public because we felt it was personal, and because the details were such that we wanted to keep it between our family, and a close group of friends (both inside and outside of the domestic discipline community). 

In the summer of 2012 my husband and I found out we were expecting our second child. Anyone who knows us knows that we had desperately wanted a second child and we were over the moon excited. On August 27th, 2012 we went into the doctor for a routine appointment. We had an ultrasound that day (routinely scheduled) and, unfortunately, the baby's heart had stopped beating.  On August 28th, 2012 I had a D&C. The D&C mixed with a few early pregnancy complications that had occurred prior to the loss of our child prompted my hospital stay to extend 5 (almost 6) days in which time I had 3 surgeries.
It goes without saying that a hospital stay away from your son (that was the first time I had ever left our son), mixed with the incredible hurt and loss of losing your child, mixed with the health complications from the loss of your child, is an extremely trying, and difficult time for anyone to go through. It was VERY hard (and still is) on my husband and I. Despite the fact that it was the hardest thing we have ever went through, at no point was I dying (physically) and I have no idea where the blog author incorrectly received that information.

Following my hospital stay, my husband wrote 2 blog entries. One he put on my old blog (Knowing Your Roles) and one he posted on his old blog (LDD). Both entries were written with one intent- to let everyone in the community know that due to the circumstances, we were both going to be taking a short break from Learning Domestic Discipline, and the community. Following that, people had requested a way to help. Many people suggested a donate button on the side of my husbands old blog for 2 reasons: 1 was because they simply wanted to help, and 2 was because it was only a few months before the launch of our website (something that everyone knows is not cheap between purchasing the domain name, purchasing a host package, purchasing additional databases, purchasing a bandwidth increase, coding the entire site, and much more). We were hesitant to accept any form of donations for any purpose. Against our better judgment, we put a donation button up on our website for 6 days before taking it down and realizing that this may have been one request from the community that we could not give into. 

If we would have EVER foreseen that the decision made by my husband to put that up for six days would have turned into a personal attack, an extreme exaggeration of the truth, and very hurtful statements being made, it would have never been done. If our sole motivation was money that donation button would still exist, and we would not invest near as much money and time into this site as we do. 

We love this community, despite the fact that we are deeply hurt by this one persons allegations. This has turned from a very sick lie into a very sick personal attack. It has been several months since my health issues, but that does not mean it is not still fresh in my mind. In fact, I still think daily about the fact that had I not lost our baby last week would have been the week we would have found out the gender. This is very real, very raw, and very deep pain that I REALLY don't appreciate being forced to share with the entire community simply because someone has a sick agenda to lie and manipulate people for the sole purpose of promoting himself and eliminating people he views as a threat to that.

In conclusion, we strongly feel that if this individual stopped dedicating this amount of time to lying, hurting, manipulating and deceiving people and instead focused the same amount of time on his blog (and future endeavors) that he could be really doing something great and, despite everything, we would support him as a member of this community. But there comes a point where enough is enough and, no matter how many amazing updates this individual continues to post to his blog, the proof will always be there, in black and white (which you can read below).

We would also like to thank everyone who has sent us messages in support during this very frustrating and difficult time. We are continually grateful to have a community of wonderful people beside us.

-Clint and Chelsea


  My wife and I have done everything in our power to avoid having to write this blog post. For several months now we have discussed this with other people in the community, we've thoroughly researched things and discovered concrete proof (which you are about to read), and we've ignored this as long as we could. While we still very much want resolve this issue and avoid conflict, we feel we have no choice left at this point.  Unfortunately, with the release of our new book, things have now escalated and gotten to the point where we feel we must defend ourselves, our reputation, all of the wonderful people within the domestic discipline community, and most importantly - our family.

  We feared the release of our new book would strike the wrong chord with a blogger that has disliked us for quite some time now.  We've never wanted to be wrong about something more than we wanted to be wrong about that.  Unfortunately, we were right, and his personal problems with us have now gotten to the point where they're negatively impacting a domestic discipline community that we care tremendously about.

  Our intent with this post is not to cause any problems, drama, or conflict within the domestic discipline community, nor is our intent to point fingers and place blame on any one person or another.  Our intent is to clear up false accusations made indirectly toward/about us with physical proof that they are false (all proof is given later in this post).  It is also our intent to offer our side of the story within this post.

  The comments on this post will be deactivated as not encourage further drama.  There are no "sides" here.  We're one collective domestic discipline community.  Even if some don't feel the same way we do about that, we will always feel that way with, and amongst, our peers.  We're writing this post to close this matter, to put it behind us, and to move forward in a constructive way. We have an enormous amount planned for 2013 (and beyond) with Learning Domestic Discipline, and we are ready to put this in the past and move forward with this fantastic community that has stood by us from the start.  It is our hope that our fellow bloggers and the domestic discipline community understand the position we've been put in by no choice of our own, and we hope others will reciprocate our sentiment.

  For several months now, through several different avenues, my wife and I have been reaching out to a fellow domestic discipline blogger in an effort to resolve the multiple problems that he clearly has with us.  Problems that my wife and I still to this day do not understand (since he refuses to constructively communicate with us), and problems that have risen without any provocation whatsoever. We have NEVER attacked this individual, nor have we done anything beyond reach out to him via Twitter direct message, Twitter mentions, and an email with sole intent to resolve this matter.  Unfortunately our attempts to resolve matters have been ignored.  All we've received in return are invites to his groups and indirect personal attacks.

  It breaks our hearts to have to write this post, and we've been trying so hard to prevent this from happening, but like we said, our private attempts to address this matter have fallen on deaf ears, forcing us to go public, which we did NOT want to do.  We're hoping to one day resolve these problems with this blogger, but if history is any indication, that is highly unlikely to happen, unfortunately.

  The only apparent problem my wife and I can determine this blogger has with us is in regard to our two domestic discipline boot camp books. We cannot confirm that this as a problem of his as he does not communicate directly with us at all, but given the nature of one of his blog posts and hundreds of Twitter tweets, this seems to be his primary problem with us.

  To be perfectly clear, any accusations that any of the content within either of our two domestic discipline boot camp books is stolen, plagiarized, or otherwise infringed upon are completely false.  Every word in both of our books were written by either myself, or my wife with the sole exception of the testimonials in the original boot camp book. 

  This blogger's article discusses a 2005 article written by a woman named Jacqueline.  Jacqueline writes about a three-week "training period" of dominance and submission.  Jacqueline, in her own words, described this three-week "training period" as extreme, she admits that she referred to her HoH as "Master" for the duration of this "training period", and the "training period" described in her essay does not include the most important relationship building component to boot camp, which are the homework assignments.

  While there are similarities with the role defining aspects of the two experiences, anyone who reads either one of our books and then compares it to Jacqueline's essay should be able to clearly see the differences between Jacqueline's extreme three-week "training period" and the content outlined within either of our two domestic discipline boot camp books. 

  However, there is a major problem with what this specific blogger has on his blog as "proof" that we directly copied a concept that has been around since 2005.  He wrote portions of it himself in an attempt to make it appear that we copied content for our book.  Below we have several screen shots of his blog entry.  Unfortunately we couldn't get the entire webpage into one screen shot (the file size was too large) so we broke it up into multiple ones.  To prove that we didn't leave anything out, you should be able to see the last sentence on screen shot one reappear as the first sentence on screen shot two, and so on and so forth.

  The entry begins with him rambling about how amazing his site is. Nothing too exciting or out of character here.

It then continues..

  It didn't take long for the first indirect personal attack on us to occur, as you can see. There is a lot we could say about what is written above, but we think we will opt to take his advice this time and drink some water and calm down before continuing.

  Re-posted many times is an exaggeration. In fact, before the above entry was written, the article had only been found here:
How do we know that?  We researched it.  Below we have taken a sentence from the article ("A Beginner's Guide to Leadership and Submission") and pasted it (with quotations so that it searches for exact text) into Google.

  If it were "re-posted many times", it would be found other places besides his blog and Taken in Hand.  Taken in Hand, by the way, is where the original article is posted. The original article can be viewed here: 

  If you click on "repeat search with the omitted results included" link, you will see it appear on the following 3 other sites (aside from Taken in Hand, as linked above).
  1. A blog which has since been removed (when you click the link it says it has been removed)
  2. A blog entry that an individual wrote in December 2012 copying/pasting the persons blog we have been referencing in this post. 
  3. A download site where the article had been uploaded by a friend of the blogger we have been referencing. 
  Moving on to the rest of the screenshots. The next few screenshots are from this persons blog which, supposedly, contains the "original article".

So far, so good. Looks like the original.

Still looks like the original article/essay..

  And the blog author continues to copy/paste the original article. The entire original article can be viewed on the original site (here: and bares very little similarities to OUR version of domestic discipline boot camp.

  Why is all of this a problem?  Well, the article on his blog was going along great up to this point.  He was able to copy/paste the full original article, but then most likely re-read it and noticed that (like us, and everyone else) it really didn't bare enough resemblance to our boot camp book in order to truly get people to believe him.  So what does one do when that occurs? Well, one is inclined to just make up content, which is precisely what this individual did.  He added onto the original article with what he calls, "footnotes" in an effort to THEN make it look like our book.  The problem is it is not in the original article.  The details, which do bare a LITTLE more similarity (although still not identical by ANY means) to our boot camp book, were completely made up and added in.  The following is proof of that.

Here is the screen shot of the author's blog who put up the boot camp entry to create drama:

  You'll notice that the original article ends with "if he asked me to, I would become, again, his slave in a heartbeat." This can be seen in the ORIGINAL article screenshot below. 

  On the "DD Boot Camp Revealed" blog entry (which is what we have been discussing/screen shotting all along) the "original essay" continues.  Yet on the ACTUAL original essay it ends.  And, ironically, on the "continuation", the "footnotes" do bare more of a resemblance to our boot camp book (although still not identical, but I guess we could give the blog author some credit for trying). 

  To further prove our point, take a look at the following screenshot.  Underneath it we have written why we screenshot it, and what it shows.

  Above we have taken a line from the supposed "footnotes" section of the supposed "original essay" and put it into Google, using direct quotes, to see where else on the web that text appears.  If you click the omitted results link, it pulls up the sites that we referenced last time we did this (the blog that has been removed since, the blog who copied and pasted the "Boot Camp Revealed" entry from this blogger in December, and then a file sharing site where someone uploaded a copy of the entry and that someone is a well-known close friend of the "Boot Camp revealed" blogger).  So what are we missing here?  The original article.  The Taken in Hand site (once again, linked here: is where the original article is.  That original article contains a grand total of ZERO of the footnotes, or clear edits, to this essay that supposedly exists everywhere. 

  So what does all of this clearly show? The "Boot Camp Revealed!" entry is really "An Essay of a Couples BDSM Training Period That I Have Edited Onto and Lied About in an Effort to Create Drama".  That is what the entry should have been called. 

  To be fair to this individual, we do not have proof that he, himself, edited the original article in an attempt to ruin our reputation.  It is possible that he received the already-edited/added onto article from someone else and simply over-exaggerated about the amount of research he put into it before placing it up on his site and promoting it daily for several months.  That's entirely possible.  However, given the history with this individual, we strongly believe that the first option is the more likely of the two. 

  Regardless, the facts remain.  Someone added onto the original essay, which contains few to zero similarities to our book, and the edits that this mystery person made to the original essay just happened to be edits that were CLEARLY taken from our book, re-worded, twisted around, and promoted as if THAT was the original article.

  The bottom line is this: There have been concerns by multiple people about whether or not this individual is even married, even practices domestic discipline, or if he simply uses the term "experience" to define his well known "spanking play sessions" with other individuals.  The proof above shows that the writer of the blog post, "DD Boot Camp Revealed!", did just that - wrote the blog entry (and plagiarized an article from 2005).  The writer did copy/paste a BDSM "training period" article and then added onto that article, blatantly lying to the domestic discipline community for months (and possibly longer) about its origin and/or true contents. 

  On a separate note, this blogger constantly tweets and repeatedly states on his site that he's the "#1 DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE SITE WORLDWIDE!!!" or some variation of that.  This is yet another lie.  The number one spanking blog online is My Bottom Smarts, and the number one blog/website under the domestic discipline platform is Learning Domestic Discipline.  This is proven by Google, statistics/page views, Alexa ratings, etc.  To suggest that his site is #1 in the spanking community is disrespectful to Bonnie at My Bottom Smarts, and to suggest his site is #1 in the domestic discipline platform is disrespectful to us.  To blatantly mislead readers in that fashion shows his only agenda is self-promotion and traffic numbers, not the well-being of his readers.

  We deeply care about the domestic discipline community. This can be proven over and over again by the countless hours we dedicate to our website, our forums, our blog, our network, and all other LDD entities.  That alone is over 40 hours a week between the two of us (not including the staff we have recently hired, and are continuing to hire). We have made some absolutely incredible friends since we began Learning Domestic Discipline and we couldn't be more proud to be a part of this community. 

  The amount of time, effort, and money we have invested into Learning Domestic Discipline is an extreme amount, but so is our dedication and devotion to this community.  Yes, we wrote two books.  Hundreds of others (a quick search of the term "domestic discipline" on an eBook site like Lulu pulls up over 700 results) have as well, and not one of those books is available for free.  They ALL carry a price, and the ALL must be purchased to read.  Ours is no different.

  We, and many others in the community, understand that this individual struggles with accepting the success of Learning Domestic Discipline and our two boot camp books.  But, as our numerous attempts to reach out have indicated, we wish to put all of that aside and become ONE COMMUNITY.  This community is large enough for everyone. 

  We wish "Mr. BB Spanker" nothing but success with his upcoming endeavors.  We hope that, at some point, he will choose to move forward and contribute to everyone's efforts in making this one united community.  We may never receive an apology from him, the community may never receive an apology from him, and we fully anticipate and expect his actions and behavior to continue.  Despite that, we still wish him nothing but the best in everything that he chooses to do.

  We will have no further involvement with this drama going forward, UNLESS he continues to lie, and/or continues to personally attack us either directly or indirectly (which would not surprise us at all).  We feel the community deserves the truth, and if his lying persists, we will be forced to continue defending ourselves and this community we care so deeply about.  We have given the proof, we have said our piece, we have defended ourselves, and we cannot and will not dedicate any more time to this unless blatantly provoked.  We consider this matter closed.

  We have a lot of exciting things in store for Learning Domestic Discipline and we're so thankful and grateful to have a supportive community of incredible people behind us.  Thank you all for allowing us to share our side of the story.

All the best,

Clint and Chelsea

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