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Learning Domestic Discipline
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Posted in: Spanking Punishment
LDD's Weekly Recap: July 29th - August 4th
11 years ago
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Rubbing Before, During, and After a Spanking
Posted in: Spanking Punishment
21 comments:
Good article Clint! Any time I plan on using any implement to spank with, I make sure on doing a warm up with some light rubbing - and don't allow rubbing for at least an hour afterwards either.
It is a good article and well-written. Such articles are precisely why I copy your blog entries and paste them into a word document before giving them to my husband. It's handy for him because he can look it over at work without getting on the site and it allows me to make minor edits (mostly small deletions). This one, I will omit all together. So, if my husband asks, you must have been too busy to post anything this week... (Just joking, kind of. I would never lie if he asked.)
@Jim - Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed the post. It sounds like you handle the rubbing rather closely to what I recommend. That's wonderful! I hope things are going well for you.
All the best.
@Anonymous (February 15th 3:32 PM) - However you want to handle it is your choice. :) Thank you for the kind words about the post, and thank you for commenting.
All the best to you.
-- Clint
For my husband and myself, I'm pretty sure that this would bring an unwanted erotic element into the whole process that would detract from its purpose. While we believe that there should be a recognised point at which discipline is over and done with and what happens *after* that point shouldn't be governed by something which is supposed to be finished, to bring any kind of eroticism into the actual discipline is a definite no no.
I agree with the comment by swl1. Having long periods like 3 minutes of rubbing during the spanking would be erotic and distracting from the purpose of the spanking.
I do agree that if standing in the corner after or during the spanking, the wife should not be allowed to rub w/o permission of HOH.
I want to ask about how to open this subject of DD lifestyle with my new guy
Hi Anon June 2 1:46 - I'm not sure what you mean by "new guy". If you are in a brand new relationship, I personally think it is too soon to be introducing something as intense a DD which takes a lot of work and committment. If you mean that you were previously in a committed DD relationship and would like to introduce it into a current committed relationship that you have had for a while, then I would suggest you read Clint's article on this blog http://learningdd.blogspot.com/2011/09/getting-husband-on-board-with-domestic.html
If I have totally misunderstood your question, please accept my apologies.
@Anonymous (June 2nd 1:46 PM) - I agree with the response Cat gave to you. If your relationship is relatively new (as in under 6 months old), I would hold off on considering DD until a stronger foundation of trust and love is built. As Cat said, DD takes a lot of work and commitment, and it's important to have the foundation of the relationship in place first before introducing the DD dynamic to it.
I wish you the best of luck in your new relationship!
@Cat - Excellent job with your comment. You said a lot of what I would have said, which is very helpful. I also appreciate you sharing the link the anonymous poster needed. Thank you. I hope you and your family are doing well.
All the best to you.
-- Clint
@Cat and Clint, thanks a lot for your input and responses! Even though him and I are already getting very close to each other, but I'll give it more time to introduce the idea.
Sincerely,
K
I spanked my girlfriends butt once 200 hits. Her butt becomes re for 3 days.
@ Anon Jun 6 3:51am - I'm not quite sure what your point is - it sounds as if you are bragging. The purpose of a spanking in DD is to correct a behavior not to see how many times you can hit or how many days her tush stays red. Being an HoH comes with a huge responsibility to treat your wife/partner with respect, love, and caring. Discipline is just a very small part of DD!
@K - My pleasure. It sounds like you've got a good thing going. :) Good luck!
@Anonymous (June 6th 3:51 AM) - Spanking upwards of 200 times is extremely excessive, particularly given that her buttocks was red for 3 days. What troubles me is that you seem proud of this. I have a great deal of concern for your wife. I can understand why you posted your comment anonymously. Needless to say, I'm not impressed.
@Cat - Agreed. I don't have much to add to your comment. Well said. Thank you.
-- Clint
I have never been allowed to rub, but I didn't realize the importance of not rubbing after until the other night. My punishment stung so bad, I wanted to rub, A LOT! I haven't felt like that before. I think you are right, it is important not to relieve the discomfort.
Becky
I find after my HOH administers a spanking, I always am bruised. I don't feel he is being extreme, may just bruise easily. We are one year new to DD, any thoughts?
@Becky - It's not easy to resist the temptation to rub it after a spanking. I certainly understand that. As hard as it may be, it's best in the long run not to do so.
I appreciate you sharing your experience. All the best to you.
@Anonymous (August 18th 9:49 PM) - The best way to prevent bruising is by conducting a warm up spanking prior to the "main spanking." Are you two currently doing warm ups? If not, I highly recommend you start doing so.
I would also consider using a less dense implement such as a belt, a wooden spoon, or a strap. These implements will keep the "damage" from the spanking more on the surface of the buttocks, making bruising less likely.
I understand you said you feel he is not being extreme, but another option to consider is spanking with less strength behind the strikes, but adding MORE strikes to the end of the spanking.
These are a few options to help with the bruising issue. Your best bet is warm up spankings if you are not currently conducting them when you spank.
I hope this helps. Good luck to you.
-- Clint
To Anon @9:49
Is there any chance you might be anemic?
I am, and when I don't take iron supplements, pretty much anything can bruise me.
Anemia is very common in women, very easy to diagnose, and very easy to treat. If you bruise easily, it might be worth having the doctor just run a quick blood test.
Hello Clint,
What do you do when your wife starts acting bratty? I warned my wife to get her behavior in check when we had some friends and neighbors over last night but she continued to be bratty, rude to one guest (we had about 12 people over). She and her husband have never been to our house - I play golf with the husband and we both like him but my wife didn't always get a long with the wife when we when out to dinner etc. But anyways, my wife is the one who invited her/them to our house for the first time. My wife began asking and serving everyone with drinks and decided not to serve her - she basically said oops I must've forgot one and told her where she could get her drink instead of getting it for her!! Luckily no one noticed but me - I was embarrassed and could tell the guest was a little put off by it but was a good sport and went and got her own drink (i would have offered but was dumbfounded and also had a tray of food in my hands). My wife then just started smiling/smirking after that and so then I pulled my wife aside and explained to her that she needed to respect all our guests. She said she didn't mean to and really was just short a drink. So the party went on and when we will all decided to play a game, she deliberately left that guest out (the guest again was a good sport and simply said she was ok with not playing). THEN when she was watching a show on tv, my wife sort of grabbed the remote and said that her favorite show was on. Well, again I was just very embarrased and felt bad for our guest, so I said if our guest wanted to watch something she should be able to. My wife kept acting bratty and continued to keep the remote and watch her show and was making conversation with her but clearly it was fake and snotty. I was able to get the remote from her and gave it to our guest without making a scene or noticeable and kindly asked my wife to help me with bringing out the dessert and gave her an earful in the kitchen (almost pulled out the silent spanking cream but chose not to). Despite this, she AGAIN continued to act bratty until all the guests left (she even was a little flirty with another male guest). Despite my wife's behavior and how rude she was, that one guest still thanked her/us for everything and was kind the entire time. To say the least, I was furious and tried to talk to my wife about her behavior. She said it was "all in my head". It was midnight so I told her that she was going to be punished the next day (tonight) for her behavior from last night. I need some help as I don't want my wife to think that I care more about the female guest or make her feel that way. I do believe my wife deserves to be punished as that type of behavior will not be tolerated towards a guest that SHE invited to our home. I am still very furious but do not want to make a mistake. I want my wife to know that how she behaved was childish, rude, and unacceptable. I would like to spank her for the bevahior, apologize to the guest for her behavior, and also ground her for breaking rules/my warnings. I am not sure the duration or how to go about it. Can you give me some suggestions of what you wouldn't do and what you would do within the punishment I have in mind above? Thanks
If my wife behaved that way around company in our home and didn't stop when I asked/warned her, I would excuse us for a few minutes and go out to the garage and give her a quick spanking. At that point, if she continued, she could expect a formal spanking as soon as the company had left. Just my two cents. Good luck!
Anonymous 11/3/12,
I have to tell you as a wife in a DD marriage, this kind of behavior would come under the category of... "NEVER, EVER want to do that again spanking." The Man would have given me exactly ONE serious, called aside warning and if I didn't stop, I could expect a serious spanking as soon as the guests left.
Your wife knew exactly what she was doing, and she should be willing to accept the consequences. Not only did she disrespect the guest, but you and herself. She put herself in a poor light in front of everyone and opened your home and relationship up to scrutiny in a poor light.
Were it me, I would be spanked and expected to apologize to the guest for my behavior and in a respectful manner. I would more than likely be grounded for a certain amount of time (probably until I could demonstrate an attitude of contrition). I am truly sorry that this has occurred for both of you.
Dana
Thanks to you both for your suggestions and input. My wife did apologize to the guest (we went over to her house and she was required to do it face-to-face with some kind of gift in hand -- she chose to bring a plant). I know how much my wife didn't want to and she begged me to let it go, but she knew it was important as her behavior was completely inappropriate. I warned her that it had to be sincere and respectful and complete. She did a good job. She was a bit upset I could tell afterwards at me but I told her that her continued dirty looks at me were only going to get her another spanking. She has since calmed down and accepted that she was wrong and had to give an apology to the guest to make it right. she is grounded for a week and got 1 spanking. She is getting 1 more spanking and then it'll be done. I think she has learned her lesson - i hope so. thanks again.
I agree, the behavior was dealt with appropriately. I would explore with her the reasons that the behavior occured. It sounds like she is feeling insecure around this woman. Maybe some encouraging conversation from you, exploring those feelings could also help.
Amy
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