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Monday, September 5, 2011

September Couples Challenge: Planning Improvement

Image courtesy of talkingwithtami.com.
This exercise challenges a couple to look deeper into their relationship and create a plan to address the problem areas.  This article can be found on our new website by clicking here.

8 comments:

Christina said...

Our marriage needs more stability in budgeting issues from me. It's not fair for my husband to shoulder all the responsibility when it comes to financial issues on a day to day basis as well as for long term goals when I have been guilty (and fairly recently) of disregarding those goals and buying things that could potentially detroy our goals. Our plan has been to go over our goals in detail, talk about how we are going to achieve them and how I need to follow our goals, and to do otherwise, is disrespectful to my marriage. I've been working on putting our monthly budget onto a spreadsheet, which is a somewhat boring and onerous, but necessary task.

That's my example .

Respecting Mistress said...

Very thought-proving post and, as a result, Mistress and I are reviewing our FLR and looking at how we can improve both sides of the relationship. So thank you for your insight. The key areas are: I need to focus more on my submissive attitude and pay much more respect to Mistress. I also need to curb my spending on luxury good and pay more attention to household chores. Mistress agrees she needs to up her level of assertiveness andnot let me get away with the slightest fault. In other words we need to adopt a a much stricter atmosphere i nthe home - at least for a period of time until I am totaly omplaiant with our rules.

Anonymous said...

I don't think this is the type of lifestyle that this site is referring to, but best of luck to you guys.

Clint said...

@Christina - Great example. I've learn from you and your husband in the network that you may have a bit of a spending problem. :) Your comment here is a good start. Best of luck getting it fixed.

@Respecting Mistress - I'm glad you find the post helpful for your relationship, regardless of the type of relationship you choose to practice. Although a female lead relationship (FLR) isn't discussed on this blog, if you find this post helpful, then I'm good with that. All the best to you.

@Anonymous - You're right, this isn't the lifestyle I'm referring to, but if this post is helpful to a couple, then that's wonderful. Thank you for your comment!

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

It is interesting though how much relationships on these two extremes seem to have in common. On the one side is conservative, Christian couples who are following God's natural order of a male leading his household by maintaining discipline over his obedient wife. On the other side is the bdsm world. It's just interesting that so many people seem to have the same needs no matter how those needs are framed. I wonder why the two sides don't talk to each other more. I'm interested in finding something sort of in the middle, where I'm part of a traditional, monogamous relationship... something that feels and appears traditional and not bdsm-y, but I find all of this discipline talk quite erotic, and I'd like to be able to acknowledge that for me it's erotic, not just discipline. For me it's been really hard to find a community or partner who understands this middle ground. (I do appreciate how open-minded and welcoming you seem to be though, Clint.)

Clint said...

@Anonymous - I agree, it is an interesting phenomenon. In regards to having an open mind - I know what it feels like to be judged for what you believe in. I do my best to never make other people feel that way, since it's not a great feeling. If a couple is happy doing whatever they choose to do in life, then that's all that really matters. Thank you for your thoughtful comment.

I wish I was more helpful in finding you a community who understands that middle ground you're referring to. I don't know of one. I will say, however, that the LDD Network is full of wonderful people who love to share ideas with one another, regardless of how people practice DD. We'd love to have you in the network if you'd ever like to join.

All the best to you!

-- Clint

Lisa said...

No big surprise, as it seems very common, that we too need to work on the consistency in our relationship. Both R (Xrayer45) and I sat down just yesterday and went over the rules we both agreed upon. It was harder to determine the consequences in any detail as we feel some of that depends on the circumstances surrounding the breaking of the rule. We both need to work harder at being consistent, me in the sense that I need to remember the rule completely and not try to rationalize why I broke "part of it" but not all of it, silly I know. R needs to be more consistent in enforcing the consequences even if it is a little breach of the rule.

As with many others, the discipline is not always immediate, due to schedules or kids at home. We try to have a set day to "clear the slate" but sometimes by the time that day arrives, R has forgotten all the "tallies" and so have I. Writing them on a calendar seems to help a bit so we will see!

I really like the Challenges you offer your readers Clint, thanks!

Good luck with the challenge all my LDD friends!!

Clint said...

@Lisa - That was a wonderful comment and thank you so much for posting it. I'm sure others feel the same way you do. It's always nice to sit down together and reacquaint yourselves with the household rules.

I'm glad you enjoy the challenges and I certainly hope they're useful in your relationship. That's what they're there for. :)

All the best to you, Lisa.

-- Clint

 
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