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Sunday, May 6, 2012

Appreciating My Wife

Image courtesy of picfor.me.
  We get a little personal with a heartfelt story about Chelsea and how she handles disappointment.  You can read this article on our new website by clicking here.

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful affirmation of your bride and your relationship with her. I don't know of a woman alive who wouldn't just be glowing. How lucky you both are. It is really awesome to see such a positive and healthy relationship as I have seen here. Not just with you two but others.

All the best,
Dana

Chelsea said...

You are the most amazing husband a girl could ask for. This made me cry. I'm so beyond blessed to have you, and our son. I still can't believe you dedicated a whole post to me! You're amazing.

I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

I love you more with each second of the day.

-Your wife

Anonymous said...

Thank you very much for sharing. That made me cry. You two desreve eachother and you are a great inspiration for the rest of us. Thank you so much:)

Clint said...

@Dana - Thank you so much for your very kind comment. I certainly appreciate it. All the best to you as well, thank you.

@My wonderful wife - I love you too, honey. Don't ever forget that.

@Anonymous (May 6th 9:38 AM) - Thank you as well! I appreciate your very kind comment. I wish you the best in all you do.

-- Clint

SpankedWifeUK said...

Arrrr, Clint and Chelsea, so so lovely.

Yes Clint you are a private man, but I don't think that is ever a bad thing, in fact it makes gestures like this all the more pertinent.

SO lovely. AS we say in the UK, it warmed the cockles or my heart!

I love to see real love, what you and me and my hoh have is so rare these days, cherrish it, as I know you do.

C

Anonymous said...

I would like to say I really enjoy your blog and your Wife's blog.. I find it very informative and easy to comprehend. My HOH is not much for reading, but when i told him of your blog he asked for the link. I do have a question, Why can't I cry? I get to a certain point during my punishment and DM(daily maintenance) but the tears just won't come. My HOH feels like he must punish me harder but that doesn't work either. I feel remorse for my wrong doings and mostly ashamed. I feel i need that emotional release and can't find it, we have tried standing in the corner, lectures, lines and sever punishments to no avail..why? I am still having a slight problem with letting go of my independence we have been in this relationship for almost 1 year but before this i was single and raised my 4 kids on my own. Could that be why i can't release? sorry if this is kinda random just typing as i think....any advise would be greatly appreciated!

Clint said...

@SpankedWifeUK/C - Thank you for your very kind comment. I'm glad you enjoyed the post. :)

@Anonymous (May 6th 3:08 PM) - I'm so happy to hear you enjoy the blog. I certainly hope you and your husband find it to be helpful to your marriage in some fashion. That's what it's here for. :)

It's difficult to pinpoint the exact reason as to why you're unable to cry, but I think you're already on the right track when you talk about how you are "still having a slight problem with letting go of [your] independence." Being a single parent of 4 (which I very much admire your strength in doing so, by the way) can "teach" you to be strong emotionally, thus conditioning you over time to show less and less emotion. I'm not saying that IS the case, but it's something I've heard of before. Single parents need to be strong for their children and crying can be perceived as a sign of weakness so a lot of parents, single or married, don't want their children to see them emotionally vulnerable, so they hold it all in.

That's one potential reason as to why you can't cry. You're conditioned not to. Another potential reason may be your pain tolerance. Perhaps your pain threshold is so high that a spanking simply isn't painful enough for you to cry. Another reason may be your very prideful. Perhaps you don't want your husband to see you in such an emotional state, so you keep it from him for whatever reason. Sort of an "I'll show him that I really am strong" sort of thing. It could be any number of reasons.

Again, it's virtually impossible to pinpoint exactly why you're unable to cry. It may be one of the reasons I mentioned or it may not, but I do stress the importance of crying all over this blog because it IS so therapeutic and cathartic for the wife to get all those emotions out. It's ok to cry. It really is. In fact, it's best to cry. Nothing will bring a couple closer together emotionally than a husband comforting his wife in her most vulnerable emotional moments.

I hope things work out for the best for you both. I wish you nothing but the very best of luck in everything you do.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your quick response... Do you have any ideas on how i could let go... I try to think of the most emotional time in my life and that doesn't work. I get on the verge when my HOH lectures me and tells me how disappointed he is but can't seem to let them fall. I know i need that release, badly in my life.

April said...

Aww... what a nice tribute to your wife, Clint. You are correct in that a lot of wives would not handle a disappointment in such a mature and reasonable manner. That she almost always does, makes you a lucky man.

Having read some of the comments on here before about Chelsea, I realize that a lot of the men, mine included, (and some women too) think you are lucky because your wife is so beautiful .... However, that doesn't mean much if the person is not so beautiful on the inside. Having read her Blog for the past five months, I've been able get a glimpse inside her heart... she truly does have such a sweet and lovely spirit about her. My husband once told me he likes reading her post occasionally because he thinks she is the first female blogger out there who doesn't have anything bad to say about her HOH. She never complains or places blame elsewhere. He loves that about her - probably hopes it will rub off on me. One thing that she is always consistent and clear about is her love and devotion for you, and your son. Combine all of that together.... and that makes you among the top five percent most fortunate men on the planet!

Blessings to you both. Hope you have this kind of love and happiness for all eternity.

Christina said...

Chelsea is awesome and you are as well for posting such a public declaration to her honour!

Anonymous said...

If she's such a paragon, why on earth does she ever need spanking?

Clint said...

@Anonymous (May 6th 6:36 PM) - You would first have to identify WHY it is that you're not crying. Is it because it's not painful for you? Is it because you don't want to show emotion in front of your husband? Is it because you're conditioned not to do so as I described in the previous comment to you? You can't help an issue if you don't know what issue you're addressing. All three of those reasons have a very different way of being addressed.

If it's not painful, the answer is simple - increased the strength of/amount of the strikes so it becomes painful for you. If you don't want to show emotion in front of your husband, talk through those issues that are causing you to feel that way. If you've been conditioned not to cry over time, it's going to be a work in progress to undo what has been done. It starts with conceding all elements of control to your husband, respecting his authority in the home, and allowing him to lead the family, and you interfering with none of that. Then, when punishment times present themselves, you have a lecture, you take responsibility for your actions, and you gain forgiveness through the spanking process.

You may never break down those emotional walls completely. But, you can chip away at them by having constructive dialogue with your husband. Identify the "why" of you not crying and then address that "why" head on.

Good luck to you. I hope you can break down that wall eventually.

@April - Thank you so much for your comment. We both try not to say negative things about the other, since that does nothing but make a situation worse. Not to mention it's extremely disrespectful. I'm glad you've noticed that! I certainly am a fortunate man to have a beautiful wife, both inside and outside.

All the best to you and yours as well, April. Thank you.

@Christina - Hey, we do what we can. :) I meant and mean every word.

@Anonymous (May 7th 4:34 PM) - Nobody is perfect. She discusses a few reasons she receives spankings on some of her blog entries. I encourage you to read those when you get the chance.

All the best to each of you!

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

LOVE THIS!!!! And Happy belated bday Chels!!! Let's celebrate soon :) --Sophie

Anonymous said...

Clint,
Help! Two weeks ago discovered DD. Never heard of it but decided almost immediately I wanted it. It took several days to speak to my husband about it. Finally did and his response was what ever I can do to help you I will. I want to do this for health reasons. The past ten years I have had 4 senior relatives that have had many health crisis and I have been very involved in their care. It has impacted my own health. As I read more I came to realize that it would benefit both of us and our marriage, not just my health. He barely glanced at the web site. He was turned off by the spanking. When a decision is made I am like a race horse out of the gate. My husband ponders. So I decided to send him articles thru e-mail and my thoughts on them to engage him in a conversation without make him feel pushed. We have been married 18 years, I know what will happen if I push, big fight or everything comes to a whiplash halt. I sent the first e-mail yesterday. He came home told me he started reading but didn't have time to finish. Then told me he would never spank me. " The idea of spanking an adult is against everything I know and believe." (to clarify, he does not believe in physical discipline for our child either) My frustration is that he had only been introduced to the idea for a week, has not done any research on it himself and he is already drawing lines he will not cross (misdirected HOH in action?). Truthfully I don't want him to spank me, but I want him to commit to the process wherever it may take us. I understand this is alot to absorb and we have a very busy summer. My hope was that we would research and talk this through during the summer and decide in aug or sept. But last night when he told me that I felt shut down. I know you said it was very difficult for you as well, was there a particular incident, thought or concept that helped you to begin to see it differently? Is there an article on this blog I can show to my husband that may begin to soften him to open his mind? Any other Husbands out there who may have some ideas? In many ways we are already practicing DD.
Thank you for your time and this blog,
CP

Anonymous said...

Reading your personal story inspired me to tell you that it is wonderful to learn of other truly happy and in love couples. What a lovely dedication to your wife, and she sounds like a wonderful partner. Congratulations to the both of you. Chelsea I hope that you have a wonderful birthday celebration when the time comes that can allow for that. Thank you both for sharing such an intimate experience!
~Melanie

Anonymous said...

your love is so inspiring! Chelsea is my role model!
~Anna

Anonymous said...

You and Chelsea are so sweet. Thank you for sharing your sentiments with us.

Clint said...

@Sophie - Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

@CP - I certainly understand where your husband is coming from and you're exactly right - I had the same problem when my wife and I were first starting out. To be perfectly honest with you, it took me quite some time to get over that hesitation.

What made me finally give the spanking aspect of DD a try was scripture, actually. I really don't like bringing religion into things, but that's the truthful answer to your question. The two scriptures that did it for me are on this blog. They're at the bottom of this particular entry:

http://learningdd.blogspot.com/2011/04/what-is-domestic-discipline.html

You're not going to find a scripture referencing spanking. I hear that all the time and I know that. But, you will find many referencing the wife submitting to the husband, which is the main idea of DD.

These scriptures, combined with the consent of my wife and her "what's it going to hurt to give it a try once" attitude, I was able to finally spank for the first time and the results were immediate, and they were positive. We've been practicing ever since.

I hope that helps and I hope your husband comes around to the idea. You won't regret it if you can get past his hesitation. Good luck to you both.

@Melanie - Thank you so much. Your comment was very nice, and we (my wife and I) certainly appreciate it. We truly have a strong marriage, and love for one another, and I contribute a lot of that to the fact we practice DD. No doubt. Thank you for your comment. All the best to you and yours.

@Anna - That's very nice of you to say! I'll pass that along to her. Thank you so much for your comment.

@Anonymous (May 10th 7:59 PM) - Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed the post. All the best to you.

-- Clint

Ash said...

How sweet, Clint! That was so nice to read :-)

Clint said...

@Ash - Thank you, Ash. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

All the best to you.

-- Clint

Blue Bird said...

Clint,
I am sorry, keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers. I hope evrything is better soon.
CP

Anonymous said...

Me too! Hopefully this will be sorted out soon and Chelsea will be healthy and home again.

j

Anonymous said...

Praying for Chelsea, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Cat said...

Hey Clint - Thoughts and prayers are with you and Chelsea.

Blessings,
Cat

Anonymous said...

I am so happy Chelsea is home. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Anonymous said...

That was the most beautiful, tear jerking, absolutely wonderful posts I have ever read. I came across your blog inquiring and learning so much about a DD marriage I've gotta say though what I'm gaining the most from it is the" belief in true love" Thank you so much. I wish you and Chelsea the best, you two really are awesome! ~Deana

Clint said...

@Blue Bird - My wife is recovering nicely. Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. It means a lot to us.

@j - My wife is doing great now, thanks to everyone's support and prayers. Thank you for offering yours. We really appreciate your kindness.

@Anonymous (August 30th 5:10 PM) - Your prayers have helped so much. My wife is doing much better now. Thank you for your support and your kindness. It means so much to both of us.

@Cat - Thank you. We really really appreciate it. My wife is doing much better now. It was very nice of you to keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

@Anonymous (September 3rd 4:46 AM) - We're happy she's home too. :) She's doing great, and we appreciate your thoughts and prayers. They helped get her back to good health.

@Deana - I'm glad you enjoyed the post. I mean every word of it. My wife is an inspiration to me everyday. She's an amazing woman, and I'm so lucky to have her in my life. Thank you for your kindness and support. It means a lot to us.

All the best to each of you.

-- Clint

 
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