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Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Spanking Implements



The pros and cons of many domestic discipline spanking implements are outlined on our new website.  You can now find this article by clicking here.

104 comments:

Will said...

I need some help getting my wife's shopping/spending under control. Which would you recommend?

Clint said...

@Will - I would recommend a warm up spanking be done with either your hand or the wooden spoon, then the regular spanking be done with the wooden paddle. I'll get more into warm up spankings and spankings in general on my blog in the coming weeks.

-- Clint

Will said...

Thanks Clint. I'm not familiar with warm up spankings (my wife and I are new to DD). I look forward to your future entry's. Love your blog.

Clint said...

@Will - Thank you so much. I'm glad you like it. A quick explanation of a warm up spanking is this: You strike the buttocks 15-20 times with your hand/wooden spoon to bring the nerves to the surface. What this does is greatly reduce the chances of bruising. Then after a brief break (approx. 2 minutes), you proceed with the rest of the spanking with the wooden paddle. I think I'm going to add "warm up spanking" to the Glossary. Again, I'll get into all of this later, but that's essentially what a warm up spanking is.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

I need a spanken, I am to testy and mouthy

Anonymous said...

My wifehas a high level of pain tolerance. If I have to punish with a spanking, its only effective if its longer one. I don't aim for harder necessarily. I don'tlike wooden implements and spanking for a long time makes my hand sore. Any suggestions? Enjoying the blog. Jeff

Anonymous said...

What about johnny loop?

Clint said...

@Jeff - I'm just now seeing your comment. I apologize for not answering sooner. If you would rather not spank with a wooden implement, the only suggestion I would have for you is a belt. In your situation, a spanking buddy would work best, but it's wooden. You would have to go with a belt if you're ruling out all wooden implements.

@Anonymous - I do not support a Loopy Johnny. The desired results can be achieved without having to use a harsher implement such as a Loopy Johnny in my opinion.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Is a Loopy Johnny more severe than a rattan cane?

Clint said...

@Anonymous - It depends. If its a Loopy Johnny made of rubber or plastic with only one loop, it's about the same severity as a Rattan Cane. If it's a Loopy Johnny made of rope or leather with multiple loops, it is more severe. The Loopy Johnny is a nasty spanking implement that I simply do not like to recommend. I recommend staying away from it. In my opinion it isn't necessary when the same results can be achieved with other less severe implements.

-- Clint

sixofthebest said...

When a wife is very naughty the best spanking implement to use on her bare bottom is the cane. This beautiful spanking implement, will let her painfully know, that her erring ways, must come to and end.

kiwigirliegirl said...

i have a very love/hate relationship with teh cane - my hubby loves it and I hate it. Its a horrible spanking implement and teaches a lesson very well - but the crazy thing - the more he uses it the more i actually crave it - weird.

Anonymous said...

Clint
I need a little advice.
Can you tell me, do certian materials or types of wood create a different sensation when spanking...dull, sharp, stinging, deep, thuddy etc.??? Or does it just depend on "how" the HoH strikes??

I have never been struck with a real paddle so I have NO idea what to expect. I want to buy one as a gift to my HoH. We haven't real used spanking as a true punishment yet. Our DD dynamic is just beginning and so far it has been mainly establishing him as HoH, the way we deal with conflict, commnication. He has been much more vocal, and "lectures" when I have done something to displease him. Its been a great improvement in our relationship, and I really am amazed at how much has changed in our dynamic. BUT, I truly need him to try spanking as discipline/punishment in addition to lecture. I don't know why, its just important to me that he does this.

We have used various impliments in our sex life for "fun", so, I want to have something that is JUST for discipline, I want to make sure the two activities are completely seperate.

I want to buy a paddle as a gift, I will enclude a explination that this is NOT a toy, its not for fun. Perhaps, if its possible, I would like to print the articles from your blog and place in a binder for him. what do you think????

newbie

Clint said...

@Newbie - It's more about the density of the implement than any thing else. What it's made of plays a factor, but it's mostly the density. For instance, a wooden spoon is going to have a sharp, intense sting on the surface of the buttocks whereas the wooden paddle will give a longer lasting sting/pain deeper into the muscle tissue of the buttocks. They're both made of wood, but since the paddle is more dense, then sting/pain is deeper and more long lasting. Also, the thinness (if that's even a word) plays a part. The switch and rattan cane are both made of wood too, but since the striking area is so small (since the implement is so thin) the sting will be significantly more intense since it's all concentrated into one little area.

Leather implements are more flimsy, and aren't nearly as dense as wood. They're also more apt to leaving welts, particularly a leather belt. If not used correctly, welts can be left on the buttocks, AND it's very easy for the husband to miss his mark. He could accidentally strike your hip, or have it sort of whip around to the front of your body without intending to do so. And my goodness is the sting intense when that happens. You must be careful with leather implements. I wouldn't look into leather until you two are more experienced with this.

Sure, if you'd like to use this blog as a reference, that would be wonderful. You have my consent to print the material on here as you see fit. I'm glad you see improvements within your marriage even without having spankings as a part of it yet. I feel spankings will take your connection with your spouse to the next level both emotionally and spiritually. I commend you for having the courage and strength to encourage your husband to do it. It takes a special woman to do something like that, so kudos to you.

Sorry for the late response. Busy weekend. As always, I wish you the very best! Good luck!

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

speaking of belts, are there any hints/suggestions on how to use it effectively without leaving welts?

great blog, keep it coming!

Clint said...

@Anonymous - Belts can leave welts very easily, definitely. The best way to prevent welts with a belt is to lighten up the strength of the strikes, but strike more times to get the same effect. Also, after a belt is used, the husband can use a wooden paddle afterwards to help prevent welts. For instance - 20 strikes (approx.) with the belt THEN 15-20 strikes (approx.) with the wooden paddle can greatly reduce the chances of welts.

Another option is a wider belt, but those can be hard to find sometimes. When the impact of the strikes are administered more evenly over the buttocks, that can reduce welts as well.

Hope this helps you out! Best of luck.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Have you ever used kitchen implements like spatulas or a small bread board? I am wondering how they compare to the spoon or paddle. I will not use belts or straps, so looking for some options.

Clint said...

@Anonymous - I have used a spatula once before, but I have not used a small bread board. It's not that I wouldn't use a small bread board if I needed to, I just don't know how I would grip it to strike the buttocks. It would be rather awkward to spank with. That's why I haven't used it. But yes, I have used a spatula. The spatula I used was flimsy and rather ineffective, however I know there are sturdy spatulas available that would work much better. It's always worth a try, and if you don't like it or it's ineffective, then use something else. In the end you need to find implements that work best for you and your spouse.

All the best.

-- Clint

newbie said...

Clint

Thank you for the compliment, but right now I don't feel very strong or brave. I have been trying for 3 days to bring up punsihment spanking to my HoH and I just can't do it. Before you ask, NO,it isn't that I am affraid it will actually happen, so I am avoiding talking about it.

I brought up the idea of a D/s marriage about 4 mo ago, and at first my husband really thought it was all about erotic role play and just to spice up our sex life. It took a few conversations and 3-4 weeks to get the "HoH" things through to him and after a while, he realized, its a very real dynamic and has improved our marriage so much. The improved sex life is a natural by product of the closer relationship D/s causes.

We have also talked a little about DD in basic general terms. In many ways he is using DD, and I don't really know if its actually a conscious things for him. Again, I think its a by product of the D/s dynamic. (I know you dont like the terms Dominant/submissive marriage, but, it works in my mind)
BUT, I have yet to explain to him that the act of spanking for punishment is something I TRULY want. I just don't know how to tell him. It should be so easy..."Honey, I love the changes in our relationship. Your stepping up into your role as HoH, your letting me know what you expect, what you will and will not tolerate. so when I mess up, I want you to start spanking me as punsihment...." ummmmm...not so easy to really say. I have sent him emails, trying to explain everything, but as you know, I can get a little loooong winded lol.

Am I being to impatient. Am I trying to do to much to fast? I'd like your thoughts, and ANYONE else out there, how did you explain everything to your HoH, was it a slow gradual things, how did it play out.

I think a great idea for a post would be one directed to the HoHs out there. Something to explain to them what we ladies are wanting, and why its so hard for us to just say it. I know everyones situation is different. But, I think the basic idea behind it, the basic reasons are mostly the same. I think its more about KNOWING the HoH WILL do it if necessary. Not that it actually happens. In my situation, I am pretty darn good, and rarely do anything truly detrimental to our marriage. I think if punishment spanking occured, it would be very rare and infrequent.

I just cant get the conversation started. Uuuugh, its so frustrating.

As always, thank you for all your support and advise. it means alot.

newbie

Anonymous said...

To the person who asked about a spatula. I'd highly recommend it. Get one that costs around $8.00 or so from a kitchen place. Dollar store ones break easy. A sturdy fly swatter might be something to try. We have also agreed in our relationship not to use anthing that does not have a handle.

Clint said...

@Newbie - Hello again, Newbie. :)

I know bringing up DD, and more specifically spankings, isn't an easy thing to do. With me being an HoH myself, it's difficult for me to put myself in your EXACT position here, but I can relate to bringing up difficult topics of conversation to your spouse. I think every married person has experienced that at least ONCE in their marriage.

I don't think you're being impatient - in fact, I think you're doing the right thing by researching everything that you can and taking your time with bringing something like this into your marriage. You have plenty of time. There's no rush with any of this. Go at your own pace and do things on your own terms and don't let anyone push you into doing something you aren't comfortable doing yet.

As you said, your husband is already doing many DD things without realizing it. That is your opening right there, Newbie. It's your way in. When it comes to something like this you need an angle of approach, and this is the angle for you.

"Honey, you know how you __________ (whatever punishment he does) when I _________ (whatever mistake you make)? Well, I know this may sound a little strange but that really helps me understand what I did wrong and it really gets me thinking about why it's a problem. I actually really appreciate it when you take the initiative to get a problem like that fixed in our marriage. It makes me feel loved, and protected. I wanted to see if others felt the way I do, so I started doing a little research and learned about DD and I really think it's something that can help us. There is one part of it that is hard to do though, and I don't know how you'll feel about it. Spanking is a part of DD, BUT before you jump to any conclusions, just hear me out.." Then go into whatever you want to say. You're foot is in the door at that point.

I think it's a good idea to do a post about this as well. I get this question a lot, mostly in emails, but it's something I should certainly address in the form of a blog post. Good idea!

I hope this helps. As always, I wish you the best Newbie! :)

-- Clint

Charlie1986 said...

My husband only uses his hand. I would like him to use something else. when he undoes his belt, I feel naturally nervous, I would like him to use that, or his slipper (he has size 13 UK feet). We do have a switch at home, he used it once to test it and it took my breath away, but I think he just doesn't want to use anything else. I find that the more I am spanked the more I get used to it. I was being spanked today, for the first time in over a month and I could go for ages, but he thought that I had had enough after I started begging him. as soon as he stopped I couldnt feel it any more, I think this defeats the object, but he doesn't like it if I interfere, because he says that he is head of our house and it's not my concern how he punishes me.

Clint said...

@Charlie1986 - This comment concerns me. You should certainly be able to approach your husband with any concerns you have regarding how you practice Domestic Discipline. You should also feel comfortable discussing different implements with him. I hope you're able to talk to him and communicate to him your concerns and desires when it comes to DD in the very near future. I personally feel it is very much your concern how he punishes you. You both need to be comfortable with all aspects of your DD marriage. Best of luck to you.

-- Clint

Stormy said...

My husband uses a coat hanger. It's silent (but I'm not) and he can always find one. I think it's severe, but it is not a long drawn out punishment. It leaves welts at times. I have a lot of respect for it..really try to avoid this consequence. It's used for defiance or disrespect.

Clint said...

@Stormy - Ouch! A coat hanger sounds rough. That's a new one for me. I've never heard of a coat hanger being used to spank with. I'm sure it's very very painful. Hopefully this is something you both have agreed upon to include in your DD practices.

Thank you for your comment, Stormy. I wish you the best!

-- Clint

newbie said...

:) thank you Clint
I will get my courage up one of these days and just start the conversation about punishment spankings. I think my husband problem is, we had talked about spanking as a type of punishment in the beginnging, but, I really don't do things that would warrent that type of spanking very often, actually its extreamly rare. So after awhile I think he just starts "forgetting" that spanking as punishment is a very important part of this.
I think that I may really need to bring up "maintenance spanking" and then, remind him of the importance of punishment spanking IF I do something that he feels is serious enough to warrent it.

That makes me think of one other issue, which I think is very common for many couples. Why is it that "spanking" for pleasure (which CAN be at times very intense, and painful) is easy for many husbands to do, but when it comes to real "punishment" they are hesitant??? I don't know if that is something you would answer....as I'm not sure if spanking is ever a fun activity in your marriage. But its just a really common issue from reading alot of the blogs and I'd like to hear what others think AND how the HOHs can get past that.

thanks again Clint!

Clint said...

@Newbie - I'm sure you can gain the courage to talk to your husband about spankings. I have faith in you. :)

Your question is a difficult one to answer, Newbie. You touch on another point as to how different erotic spankings and discipline spankings are. They're two completely different things, no doubt. I don't have any scientific evidence to back up my answer or anything, but I'll give you what I think would be a general male view on this.

Spanking for pleasure is stimulating, exciting, and fun, generally speaking. That's what makes them have the "pleasure" element to them. They're also generally done during intimate times, or during "light" times where you both are having fun in some form or another. They don't generally have any underlying meaning or lesson behind them - they're just a fun and exciting way to enhance an intimate encounter. They're also spontaneously done (generally) and in the end there is some sort of gratification to be had by both individuals that is considered to be a pleasant experience.

Punishment spankings, on the other hand, aren't fun at all. From the outset the husband is either annoyed, disappointed, or angry about the behavior of his wife, and quite frankly he doesn't want to HAVE to deal with it. He generally feels his wife should have known better (because she should have) and now feels he's in a position where he must do something about it otherwise the behavior won't change. And that isn't a great feeling. Also, this particular spanking brings his wife to tears (in most instances) which is important, yet it's pretty emotionally difficult for the husband. No husband likes to see his wife in so much pain, particularly from something he did to her, yet the whole spanking process is a "necessary evil" to help his wife become safer, and/or become a better person. It's just hard to punish. That's really all there is to it. It's very emotionally difficult and there isn't any pleasure derived from it. That's my experience anyway, and I know other men feel the same way since I talk to HoH's nearly on a daily basis.

I don't how the HoH can get past that, or if getting past that feeling is even possible. I know it helps when the wife is cooperative and supportive though. When the wife understands what she did wrong, she admits she was at fault, she admits she needs to be punished, and generally is mature about the whole process - that definitely makes it a lot easier on the husband to go through with the punishment spanking.

I don't know if this answer will help, or if I even answered your questions. But I tried. :)

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

If you caught your wife on this blog asking questions without permission would recieve a spanking?

Anonymous said...

I am pretty mouthy and disrespectful at times but i have never met a boyfriend brave enough to discipline me especially with a spanking. I guess after a while i loose respect all the way and the relationship crumbles. i think for a healthy relationship we have to be able to have respect for the HOH

Anonymous said...

Btw, does size of the wife affect her number of swats? Because i am 110 pounds and if i got a warm up of 15-20 swats with the spoon then 15-20 more with the wooden paddle i would be screaming my head off and probably pass right out.

Clint said...

@Anonymous (August 14th 5:08pm) - This situation is up to the head of the household, but if you're asking me personally it would depend on a lot. If my wife was asking questions to learn more about the subject and was respectful doing so, no, I wouldn't punish. If my wife was commenting on a blog and being completely rude and disrespectful to the blog owner, yes, I would punish. There are a lot of variables here, in my opinion. For simply going on a blog and commenting without me knowing ahead of time, I probably wouldn't punish for that as a general answer because I really wouldn't care.

@Anonymous (August 14th 5:19pm) - I agree. Any healthy relationship needs respect from both individuals. Trust, communication, and respect are all very important things in any relationship. I'm sorry to hear about the bad luck thus far. Hopefully you'll find the right person soon. Best of luck to you.

@Anonymous (August 14th 5:25pm) - Size and weight of the wife can be a factor, yes. Every woman, big or small, has a different pain tolerance. You and your spouse need to find a happy medium and find what works best in your marriage. The recommendations on the blog are a guideline to help couples with their DD practices. They don't need to be followed exactly to the letter, since every couple is different, and every woman has a different pain tolerance. You have to find what works best for your marriage. All the best to you going forward.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

My husband and I are in agreement that we don't use 'unusual' implements. My husband uses a spoon or belt most often. But those can be quite loud (we have kids, and nosey ones at that, lol). Well, where there's a will there's a way, lol.

My husband works in the printing industry and brought home an 'implement' of sorts. It is called a 'cutting rubber' (sounds bad but this is what it is -http://www.dixonmachine.com/cutting-rubbers.html) It is a long piece of rubber that is positioned under a cutting blade so that when the blade cuts through the paper coming off the press it does not dull as quickly. Anyway... he brought one home one day for a dog toy because the dog, we hoped, would not be able to chew through it. My hubby smacked it on his leg one day and realized that not only did it sting, but it was very quiet. So he brought home a new one and we used it. It takes very little effort on his part and stings about as much as a spoon. It is virtually silent. Not to be used heavy handedly as it could do some damage. But for a quick snap in line kind of spanking even when kids are up... it does the trick. :)
--Angie

Clint said...

@Angie - Thank you so much for your comment. I have to admit that's a pretty creative way of improvising with an implement. Nicely done! I appreciate you sharing another implement that others can consider using. I'm glad you found something that works well for your marriage.

All the best to you, Angie.

-- Clint

Denise said...

This chapter is very scary.

Clint said...

@Denise - It can be, certainly. Ultimately you and your husband need to find what works best in your marriage.

Good luck.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

My fiancee and I have only recently (6 months) started exploring a dd relationship (at her request) we've been taking things slowly as you suggest and things have been working out well. However I have recently discovered some emails exchanged between her and a male friend which are of an extremely flirty/suggestive nature. Naturally I was livid at first but now we have discussed it and I have calmed down. This would be the first time I have had to seriously punish her and would really appreciate some expert advice on a fitting punishment! Many thanks for your great and insightful blog!

Anonymous said...

With regard to my comment above I feel I should point out a couple of things. The male friend in question is someone whom my fiancee has known for many years and used to work with and has always had a close friendship. I know nothing has ever actually 'happened' between them and theirs is now a long distance correspondence. This does not however excuse her behaviour and I don't want to let this go lightly as in my eyes as no man wants to see/hear/read his partner flirting with another man and I am keen to punish her accordingly so we can put the incident behind us and move on. Thanks again clint for your blog it is truly a great help to people like ourselves who are exploring this lifestyle!

Anonymous said...

Clint. Thanks for your help. We are new to DD and it has been very rewarding for both of us in our relationship. My question has to do with how you choose what to spank with for a particular issue. Do you use different implements depending on the issue or do you use whatever you feel like that day? Does your wife have a say in how she will be disciplined or as HOH do you decide that? Do you always spank bare and in the same position? I am trying to decide if we decide the consequence beside our list of rules or if that predictability is not good. Robert

Anonymous said...

I know this is an older post, but I'll try posting my question here first... You mention on your positions post about how well certain positions tend to work during pregnancy. Do you have any similar advice on implements? What I've been able to find seems to say that the more surface-y ones (such as ???) are better than the denser ones (such as wooden paddles and ???), but I could use a bit more clarity. Thanks for any insight!

Clint said...

@Anonymous (August 28th 10:01 AM) - Flirty emails with another man are something I would NOT be very understanding of, regardless of the long standing relationship between the two. It may be innocent, however it would still upset me quite a bit. I'm glad she was able to calm you down after you found out. I would take something like this rather serious, so I would spank for it. It sounds like you and your fiancee are fairly new to DD, so how severe the spanking is should be based on your experience. I would recommend it be fairly severe (as in intermediate level at LEAST) based on what I know of your experience, but ultimately that is up to you. Hopefully it was just an innocent thing, but it's still best to let her know things like that could potentially hurt the marriage. Good luck to you.

@Robert - Typically I recommend being consistent with implements each time you spank. For instance, if you prefer spanking with a wooden paddle, I would keep spanking with a wooden paddle as a general rule. The severity of the offense should determine whether or not you escalate the implement into something like a belt. Once you decide to use a belt for a more serious offense, I would remain consistent with the belt for the more serious offenses. Hopefully that makes sense.

The HOH should always decide the punishment. The wife's thoughts and opinions should always be taken into consideration BEFORE deciding which punishment be administered of course, but once you decide on the punishment, it should always be carried out.

Whether or not you spank bare is determined by you, the HOH. One doesn't ALWAYS have to spank bare bottomed for every spankable offense if one doesn't feel it necessary. Details like this are interchangable, but they should always be determined by the HOH. I would recommend you remain consistent with whichever option you choose, but that isn't to say you can't change the way you spank if you feel the need to do so.

@Anonymous (September 8 12:00 PM) - It's best to use something like a belt when spanking while pregnant as opposed to the denser implements like the wooden paddle. You're on the right track. The reason is because the less dense implements keep the sting/pain on the surface of the buttocks, and thus is better for the pregnancy. You want to keep all the "damage" (for lack of a better term) on the surface of the buttocks as best as you can while pregnant, and the best way to do that is by using a lighter/less dense implement (i.e. a belt or a strap).

Thank you all for being patient with my response time. I had some computer trouble, but it's fixed now. I should be able to respond to your comments a lot quicker now.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Hi Clint,

I'm relatively new to DD and I've only been punished once so far. To avoid an argument I have agreed to accept a prolonged paddling. I personally think it's uncalled for as I have really learnt from the event and I don't think I will repeat the offense. He already made it clear that I should stop asking for leniency. Is there any thing I can do to minimize the damage/ pain? Thanks.

-small voice

Clint said...

@small voice - Well, I'm not going to lie to you - there are things you can do, however I would recommend against them since they'll likely lead to more punishment. If your boyfriend/husband found out you took precautions to lighten the pain of the spanking, my educated guess is that he would feel rather disappointed in you, as well as feel annoyed with you. It may even make him angry, and you certainly don't want that.

The best advice I can give you is to discuss the problem with your boyfriend/husband in a level-headed conversation, and express your thoughts and concerns about the mistake and subsequent punishment. It sounds like his mind is made up to spank, however you should still feel comfortable enough with him to express your thoughts on the matter as well. Also, it's best to accept your punishment maturely, as any steps you take in lightening the punishment will likely get you in more trouble. Just accept the punishment, trust that your boyfriend/husband is making the best long term decision for you and your relationship/marriage, and be humble. That's the best advice I can give you.

I wish you the very best of luck.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Thank you Clint. I will try to be humble.

-small vioce

Anonymous said...

We are new to this...can you tell me what size/thickness you recommend for a cane? Also, how much does it hurt?

Anonymous said...

My fiancee has been out of control for the past year. She is very distructive to our relationship. Can this lifestyle work for us and keep her in line? I don't like punishing her but the alternative is the destruction that she causes to our relationship. Thoughts?

Clint said...

@Anonymous (November 9th 9:40 AM) - For a cane, I recommend the cane be between 16-24 inches in length, and between 1/4 and 1/2 in in diameter. This site has numerous cane options:

http://www.cane-iac.com/items/Rattan-Canes~Straight/list.htm

The cane I recommend most frequently is the "Rattan Cane - Ever Ready 18" one for $8.99 (in the upper right-hand corner). Just a note of caution - that site has a lot of unusual and possibly offensive items on it, so navigate at your own discretion.

It's a very painful implement. The strike delivers a very intense initial sting on the surface, however the sting isn't very long-lasting. The strike is distributed on a very small surface of the buttocks, so the pain is all concentrated on that small area, hence why the sting is so intense. Be careful with the cane. It's not meant to conduct a full spanking with. At most, I'd only recommend delivering a maximum of 10 strikes with the cane in any one setting. I typically recommend the cane be used in addition to another implement during a spanking. For instance, strike X amount of times with the wooden paddle (or other "common" implement) first, THEN apply between 5-10 strikes with the cane. It's very very intense, and the cane needs to be used very carefully. Respect it.

Also, since you're beginners, I would start with wooden spoons, hairbrushes, wooden paddles, and belts before trying something like a cane. No offense whatsoever, but a cane is better used by experiences couples. I just have your best interest at heart.

I hope that helps, and best of luck to you as you and your spouse begin with DD!

@Anonymous (November 9th 11:49 AM) - I've seen DD save dozens of marriages. I don't know if DD would solve or correct EVERY problem within your marriage, but I will say that DD will NOT make matters worse for you and your fiancee. If things are rocky between you two and she's displaying destructive behaviors as you've stated, I definitely think DD is worth a try, at the very least. If it doesn't work for you two then it doesn't work, but I've NEVER had a couple come back and say that after incorporating DD into their marriage it wasn't beneficial in SOME form. Never.

Again, I think DD is worth looking into. Give it a try, and if it's not for your relationship, then stop with it. But it's not going to hurt to try for a while.

Good luck to you!

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Ièm hoping you can settle a bet between a girlfriend and I. Is this picture of a hand, your hand or did you use a picture from google. I think its a google picture and she thinks its your hand. Which is right.

Clint said...

@Anonymous (November 9th 5:01 PM) - You'll be happy to know the hand picture is a Google picture. Congrats on winning your bet. If it were a picture of my left hand, it would have a ring on it. :)

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Thank you. New starter. Good basic info.

Blondie said...

Is there a difference between a paddle with holes and a paddle without? What are the quietest of the implements that you could recommend, besides the cane and switch? Thanks you.

Clint said...

@Anonymous (November 18th 2:56 PM) - You're welcome. I'm glad you find the information helpful.

@Blondie - Yes there's a difference - one has holes and one doesn't. :) Paddles with holes increase the sting on the surface of the buttocks in comparison to paddles without holes.

The cane and switch are the most quiet, and the hand and the wooden spoon are both relatively quiet. Spanking over the underwear or over the clothing can muffle the sound to a certain extent with any implement as well, but if you chose to do it in that manner then the number of strikes would have to increase to get the desired results.

I hope this helps! Good luck to you.

-- Clint

Blondie said...

Clint, LOL . Your humor is uh refreshing. :) I may be blonde but I got the holes in the wood figured out - pictures helped...

Happily, my husband isn't planning on ever using the cane or the switch. I can't say it any other way except that the end results of those implements look like the skin is cut and the welts are horrible. But that's just our opinion. I bruise easily enough as it is.

The desired result is not to need anymore spankings. But in the mean time, we are just trying to find some way to keep it quiet. Small house, five kids and not alot of privacy.

Thanks for advice. Even if I sound sarcastic, I do love your sight and advice, the network and all of my new friends.

Clint said...

@Blondie - I'm glad you enjoy the site, my advice, and the network. We're glad to have you a part of it. :)

Canes and switches can leave lacerations or welts, but if those things are happening, they're being used incorrectly. I suppose it doesn't matter in your case since your husband never plans on using them, but they shouldn't be breaking the skin.

Anyway, I understand the need for privacy and the need for quiet implements. Hopefully you and your husband can find something that works for you.

Good luck, Blondie!

-- Clint

Blondie said...

What if... I talk to my husband about cane and how quiet it is and he agrees to give it a chance, where we he learn to use it correctly so he wouldn't leave lacerations or welts. At this point for DD to work, we need something quiet or there won't be many spankings. Help! DD has really helped our relationship but the kids are home more because it is colder outside and we just are lacking privacy. Neither of us are willing to have our teenagers hear something that we couldn't explain.

Clint said...

@Blondie - The cane is an implement that certainly needs to be used very carefully. It is a quiet implement no doubt, but it packs quite a sting.

I only recommend a cane be used in addition to another implement. For example: the first set of strikes be done with a wooden paddle, then the next set of strikes be done with the cane. BUT, the strikes with the cane need to be minimal. Ten or so strikes with the cane will get the point across. Couples need to be very careful with the cane. I can't stress that enough.

If you're just beginning with the cane, I'd recommend your husband strike using approximately 1/2 of his strength, and I would NOT recommend he reach all the way back in a full "wind up", if you will, to strike. I would also recommend the strikes NOT fall in the exact same spot. Repeatedly striking the same spot with the cane increases the chances of breaking the skin. The strike needs to be firm, but not a full force, "baseball" type of a swing. It's a bit difficult to put into words, but the best way to go forward with the cane is to start modestly and increase the intensity as needed. When in doubt, error on the side of caution.

I wouldn't want to explain this to a teenager either. More than one teenager would be worse, obviously. I hope this helps in your quest for a quiet implement. The cane is quiet, but at the very least I'd conduct a warm up spanking before using it.

Good luck to you, Blondie.

-- Clint

Lilly26 said...

Does the cane hurt more than a switch?

I'm trying to find a good implement for the last 5-10 swats that will hurt more than the rest of my spanking. But my husband and I don't know much about implements. We have a paddle and his belt. And a switch would be easy to get. But a cane we'd have to purchase.

Also you said somewhere that spankings need only be done every couple months. I usually need one 3-5 times a week. I have trouble staying submissive even though I want to so badly. And with increased amount of spankings it helps. What do you think?

Anonymous said...

I have been extremely naughty, took money from our retirement (quite a bit) and went to the casino, lost it all;without my husband knowing. Today the statement came in and he found out. How should he punish me and with what? sagb

BB said...

Does anyone else get their hands smacked as well as their bottom? I'm actually a male in a female-led relationship but this is the best DD site I've come across. My Mistress uses her slippers/paddle-brush/bath-brush/paddle or canes to spank me. I tend to get about one or two on-the-spot slipperings a week - where I have to bend down for about 30 or so firm whacks on my bare bottom. But, more painfully, I also get what she calls a proper smack-bottom every few weeks - where I go over the knee, bare bottom, for quite some time and get fairly severely paddled with her excruciating brushes, sometimes with caning afterwards. All punishments are interspersed and ended with cornertime. There are nearly always tears, especially with the OTK punishments where I sob. Recently she has started whacking my hands with her hard, wooden ruler too, mainly for offences involving my hands like masturbating or taking things without permission etc. This has had quite a powerful effect on me. Mistress administers about 6 sharp smacks on each hand which really stings and brings me very near to proper tears, and if it is in the middle of a spanking, as it was a few days ago, I find it a very powerful experience as my bottom and hands sting at once. It has certainly focused my behaviour a bit more. Have any of you submissive ladies recieved this punishments or dominant men administered it?

Anonymous said...

When I get a punishment spanking, I always get some corner time after the hugging and reassurance. It helps me calm down and move from silent resentment to appreciation. I've never discussed this... and it isn't as if it's a rule or anything. But after every spanking, I try very hard to find something special and nice to do for my husband. Not because I'm trying to avoid another spanking -- although, trust me, I learn very quickly when spanked as punishment to not repeat my mistake. But because the hurt I see in his eyes when he spanks me tells me that it costs him to do this for me. I always feel as if there has been a debt created between us and I need to set this to right -- not for the original bad behavior, that's wiped out by the spanking. But for the emotional pain I caused him by making him spank me. I truly believe how ever much it hurts me, it hurts him more. So, I work hard to find a way to show him that I love and adore him. Does that make any sense at all? It's such a hard topic to put into words, but I hope I managed to get the basic idea across.

Maria said...

I bruise easily and severely. Is there anything that helps bruises fade, be it lotion or rubbing, etc.?

Thanks. Great information here.
Maria

Anonymous said...

@Maria, We have used Arnica gel, it works pretty good.

Clint said...

@Lilly26 - Generally speaking a cane is more painful than a switch. It depends on the density and the size of the switch, but generally canes are more painful.

Spanking every couple of months is under the assumption a couple has been practicing DD for quite a while, and is spanking generally at the advanced level. Getting spanked 3-5 times a week is common for beginners just starting out with the lifestyle. I'm not sure how long you've been practicing or at what level you and your spouse spank, so it's difficult to say if this is "normal" or not. If it's that frequently, I'd recommend an increase in the intensity of the spanking in some form. Getting spanked that frequently tells me you aren't worried about getting spanked, and that's a problem. The idea of possibly getting spanked should keep you from breaking the rules. If it doesn't, it's time to increase the intensity of the spanking.

I apologize for the late response. Sometimes some comments get buried and I miss them.

@Anonymous (January 25th 10:07 AM) - It really isn't my place to say how your husband should punish you and with what. That is your husband's decision. I can make recommendations, however, and your husband can choose to take them or not. I'd recommend he spank rather seriously, and I'd recommend he keep you from all finances for quite some time until you can illustrate you're responsible with money. How long that would be is entirely up to your husband. This, in all honesty, is a light discipline recommendation considering the magnitude of the offense.

Good luck to you.

-- Clint

Clint said...

@BB - Welcome to the site! I'm happy to hear you enjoy the content. Thank you so much for reading.

Personally, I have never administered strikes to my wife's hand as punishment, and it isn't something I typically recommend. However, if this is something that works in your relationship, then I think that's great. It sounds like it's rather effective for your relationship, which is wonderful. I'm glad you and your partner have found what works best for you both.

Thank you for sharing this idea with the readers. Perhaps others will chime in with their thoughts on this as well.

All the best to you, BB.

@Anonymous (February 26th 1:10 PM) - Your comment makes perfect sense, and I thank you so much for taking the time to share your experiences. It's a great idea that would make a lot of HoH's happy to be sure, and it's something for all of us to consider incorporating into our own relationships. Thank you for the suggestion.

All the best to you.

@Maria - As the other anonymous poster suggested, Arnica Gel can help with the bruising, as can anything with aloe in it. It never hurts to have your spouse rub them softly as well, if he agrees to do so.

Hope this helps and good luck to you.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Which of these implements hurts the least, the most? What would be the difference if I were to use plastic instead of wood? (For instance, a plastic serving spoon instead of a wooden one) Thanks.

Clint said...

@Anonymous (March 5th 6:05 PM) - There are some varying factors that come into play when determining which implements hurt the least or the most. Like the strength of the strike, for instance. Also, the answers to your questions will vary since everyone has a different pain tolerance and everyone will react differently to any given implement. But, generally speaking, the hand hurts the least and the cane hurts the most.

Plastic spoons are less dense than wooden ones and generally carry a greater risk of being broken during use. Less dense also means less pain intensity. There are exceptions to plastic being less dense than wood, however. For instance, a wooden hairbrush will break more easily than a plastic one would since a plastic hairbrush is more dense than a wooden one, generally. I'm not trying to confuse you, but there isn't anything inherently wrong with using plastic implements over wooden ones. In the end you have to find what works best for you both.

I don't know if that helped or not, but I tried to give you as much info as I could. I wish you the very best of luck.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

am I the only one that thinks that a wooden paddle is the most worst spanking implement ever?!!! well i have only received the spoon, belt and paddle but i much rather have the belt more than anything!!! Ok so my question.... I was reading the comments above and saw a comment about wooden paddle and spoon. You said that the paddle should be more of a deep down pain not stingy... well why is mine so stingy should i buy a heavier paddle?

-ss

Clint said...

@SS - It's a possibility a heavier/more dense wooden paddle is needed, although it's difficult to say exactly without knowing what kind of paddle you're using. If it's a lightweight paddle (like a ping pong paddle, for instance), it's not going to issue a deeper pain the same way the wooden paddle I've linked to in the blog post would. That paddle is very sturdy, rather dense, and ideal for discipline spankings. A light paddle can be used, of course, but the lighter the paddle is, the more "on the surface" the sting/pain will be.

I hope this helps you out! Best of luck to you.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Clint, I stumbled upon your site and I'm fascinated by it (Im a felmale). It's an excellent resource on what exactly a DD relationship is and what it is not. Seems like is a great resource that has helped many people with questions and concerns. I love the maturity of it and the extensive knowledge you have. You also seem to be very caring and really love your wife and stress the importance of that. We do not have a DD relationship but I can see how this could have helped us at times. It would have forced BOTH of us to behave better. I'd be tempted to do this, except that I'd probably spend a lot of time in the beginning on his lap from what i've read on here. I forget to do things, cuss when stuff happens, speed, drive aggressively, and I'm guessing giving the finger on freeways is a no-no? You'd love to get a hold of me Clint! LMAO Keep up the good work on the blog!

Clint said...

@Anonymous (March 23rd 4:55 AM) - Thank you! I'm glad you enjoy the blog. Hopefully, one day, you and your partner can incorporate DD into your relationship.

It's not my place to say what is and what is not acceptable behavior in your relationship, but I will say that if my wife struggled with some of those issues you mentioned, we'd definitely have a problem. Several of them, in fact. Lol. The good news is that you can admit your faults, which is important. Now all you need to do is get your partner on board with the lifestyle and things will get better for you both. :)

Whether or not you choose to do DD one day, I certainly wish you nothing but the best. I love my wife and infant son dearly, and I think I speak for a lot of people when I say this - PLEASE be careful out there on the road!

Best of luck to you.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Dear Clint,

My lovely wife hinted to me 12 years ago that she liked a dominant man. Being a complete Zulu male I had NO IDEA how to be more dominant. However over the years I started to understand women and this odd need to be guided by men!

Fairly recently she stumbled across your book and introduced me to it. I'm half way through but enjoying the read and enjoying the prospect of a new life being a HOH. Before even starting Boot Camp our relationship is stronger and much closer. I look forward to sharing the results with you.

Cheers

James - UK

Clint said...

@James - I look forward to you sharing your results as well. It's wonderful to hear things are improving for your marriage after stumbling across the idea of Domestic Discipline. There's no doubt in my mind you and your wife will continue to grow together in your marriage after bringing this lifestyle into it.

Thank you for commenting, and best of luck to you and your wife!

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

When you use a belt to spank, do you double it and hold the buckle or let it out to full length and hold the buckle end? Thankyou!

Clint said...

@Anonymous (April 16th 5:16 PM) - Yes, I've doubled over the belt and held both the buckle end and the tip end together when striking before.

I've also taken an old belt and cut it down to approximately 16 inches (or so) in length and spanked with that as well. Both of these options have proven effective in our marriage.

I hope that answered your question! Best of luck to you.

-- Clint

Rimfire said...

id love to see some of your adventures.

Anne said...

Discussing implements -
my husband uses a belt when the transgression is severe or a Lexan paddle. I prefer the paddle - the belt hurts bare.

Anne said...

Just saw that comment - Clint.
My husband has cut down a belt before, too. He says that it is easier to control. @Anonymous - I have a spending problem, too. That is part of the reason our DD relationship was initiated. I don't let my spending get out of control anymore - partially - because the spankings are just awful. It took 2 - and- that was it ! My hubby put me over the side of the couch, bare, and spanked me w/ his belt. Honestly, it was just terrible. The 2nd time I did not think that I deserved it but he did it anyway, it was OTK w/ the Lexan. The Lexan (has holes) a plastic implement. Oh, I got corner time for both. Usually, he does not do that unless it is regarding $ - so only twice. Each husband does this differently. Mine just makes me keep my bottom uncovered. Trust me, you will think before you spend.

Clint said...

@Anne - It sounds like your experience was an intense but effective one. If it helped get the spending under control, then I'm glad it worked for you both. Thank you for sharing your experience.

All the best to you.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Clint,
How do you feel about the lexan paddle? Is it as evil as it looks? It looks like it really hurts! I usually get the wooden paddle because of my horrible spending habits. I've gotten better though :)

My husband and I are still kind of new to all of this but I really believe that it has helped our marriage. I would like to take it further though and I don't know how to go about it. My husband isn't as consistent as he should be and he let's things go because he's tired after he gets home from work. It makes me think he doesn't really want the responsibility of HoH. It is a lot of work but I think it would be worth it.

Clint said...

@Anonymous (June 6th 6:34 AM) - I don't support the lexan paddle. It's not something I advise couples use since a wooden paddle, if used correctly, will yield the results the couple is looking for. There's really no need to take a paddle any further than a wooden one.

Does your husband know how you feel about his inconsistency? If not, I'd suggest you talk to him about it and let him know how important it is to you that he remain consistent with the rules. Boot camp is also something that really helps a husband's inconsistency problem, but I would only consider boot camp if you've been practicing DD for 6 months or longer.

I'm glad to hear you're seeing positive results from practicing DD! I'm confident in saying that things will continue to improve for you both as you get more and more comfortable with the lifestyle. I will say, however, that he needs to be consistent to get the full benefit of it, but I think you already know that. :)

Good luck to you! I certainly wish you nothing but the best.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Clint,
Thank you for your support!

I have discussed the consistency issue with him and he agrees. In fact I bought your book on boot camp yesterday and we're thinking about trying it. You really lay it all out there and I'm glad I purchased it. I had so many questions and your book answered them all! We've been married for 22 yrs this June and practicing a dd relationship for about a year off and on and we've grown so close already. I think we're both ready to take it to the next level. It's amazing how much calmer I feel. I can't wait to start! :)

Thanks Again! I love reading your blog!

Clint said...

@Anonymous (June 8th 12:48 PM) - What a wonderful comment. Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the book, and I'm glad you enjoy the blog. Thank you so much for reading and supporting LDD. It means so much to me.

Happy anniversary as well! 22 years is fantastic! I wish you many many more happy and wonderful years to come. :)

Good luck with your boot camp experience. I'd love for you to share your thoughts on boot camp after you go through it. I think it would help other readers considering boot camp to hear your testimony of it as well. Good luck!

All the best to you.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

My close friend says that her boyfriend PUNCHES her buttocks as discipline - is that really safe? Because it doesn't sound safe to me, and I'm a little worried for her.

Anonymous said...

I am not Clint...but I have to say that the punching of buttocks is absolutely NOT a part of DD. That sounds like domestic abuse to me. It IS domestic abuse.

Clint said...

@Anonymous (June 16th 8:35 PM) - No, punching isn't appropriate in any relationship, for any reason. I'm worried for your friend as well. I'd suggest discussing this in a little more detail with her, and if it isn't something she consents to, she should explore alternatives to her situation. That may mean talking to her boyfriend about it and getting it to stop completely, that may mean she breaks up with him, that may mean they get some professional help - whatever it is, the punching isn't healthy for the relationship, and is not something that is a part of Domestic Discipline.

I hope the situation can be addressed in a healthy, constructive manner. All the best to you and your friend.

@Anonymous (June 17th 8:33 AM) - Thank you for sharing your thoughts as well. I certainly appreciate you taking the time to do so.

All the best.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

I read that you don't recommend the loopy johnny. I was wondering what the specific reasons were. We may soon be faced with a long term situation where we will have little privacy. My husband has used the cream for silent spankings occasionally but I'm not sure how effective that will be on a more regular basis. We read that the loopy johnny does not make any noise but also a lot of posts that say it is pretty severe. Is it severe just because of the amount or type of pain it causes or is it considered severe because it leaves marks?

Clint said...

@Anonymous (July 12th 11:36 AM) - I don't recommend the loopy johnny for a few reasons. One, if a cane is used by the couple, there is really no need for a loopy johnny. A cane is severe enough and quiet enough to get the desired results. The loopy johnny is unnecessary at that point. Two, it's a severe implement that, if used incorrectly, can easily leave welts or lacerations (just like a cane can). Three, I personally find it to be an awkward spanking implement. It just feels unnatural to me. Again the third reason is just my personal opinion.

I find that a lot of couples bring in new spanking implements that are simply unnecessary. I don't recommend implements, particularly extreme implements, to any couple if less severe spanking implements (paddles, straps, belts, hand, wooden spoons) provide the desired results. There is no need to fix what isn't broken.

Whatever you choose to use as spanking implements, I hope things work out for the best for you.

Be well.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Hey Clint
Awesome site. I wish my wife would have pointed this site and others like it out to me, oh say 15 years ago. But I thank the powers that be that she was mature and loving enough to find an answer to her issues. We are very, very new to DD and we both agree whole heartedly that this is what we need in our relationship. One stumbling block we both have to get past is the fact that my wife feels she needs to be punished for everything that she has done up to this point. I personally don't feel a desire to do this but I know it's something that she wants. And so as HoH I will do what ever it takes to make our marriage stronger. I can see that she needs this to move on. I love her more that life itself and I want to do what's right by her. Any suggestions?

Anonymous said...

Hi Clint,
I've been reading this blog for quite some time, but my boyfriend and I just started a domestic discipline relationship a few months ago. (We are gays, and I am the HOH... I'm not sure if this offends due to your religious believes, etc.. but I apologize if it does.) So far he has had his mouth washed out twice. Once for insulting a friend we had over, and once for lying to me. I also had him write an apology letter once for skipping a class, which he ended with 'I shouldn't do it again because my boyfriend will get pissy and make me write some bullsh*t paper.' For that I gave him fifteen minutes of 'bedroom time'. Personally, I don't see any of my punishments unfair, and he did consent to the rules and lifestyle.. I feel as though he needs a spanking, but I don't want to hurt him. What should I do?
-Eric

Cat said...

@Anon 1.Aug.12 10:10am - Many couples who have been together for a while prior to beginning DD do a "clean slate" spanking. This allows both parties to feel as if all previous harsh words, bad actions, negative emotions, etc. are wiped clean. Again, as with anything in DD, this a a decision that has to be made by each couple. If your wife feels this would help her, I would respectfully suggest you give her what she feels she needs to move forward.

Cat said...

@Anon 1.Aug.12 1:51pm - I really don't think your being gay is important. I can tell you that if I had lied to my HoH, I would have received a sound spanking. And the disrespect shown at the end of that paper would have earned me another. I'm not an HoH, but IMHO, he deserves a spanking. Clint has written many posts on this blog about how to safely spank. You can click on the "Spanking" link to the right to see all of them. Here is the link to the beginning spanking post to get you started: http://learningdd.blogspot.com/2011/04/punishment-3-beginner-level-spankings.html

As an HoH who loves his partner, I do understand that you do not want to hurt him. Personally, I think this would be one of the hardest parts of being an HoH. Jim just wrote an excellent post on this blog regarding some of the challenges for an HoH. If you haven't read it, I would respectfully suggest you do so. http://learningdd.blogspot.com/2012/07/guest-blogger-what-it-takes-to-lead.htm

From the receiving point of view - did I ever want or enjoy a punishment spanking? Ummm, let me think - that would definitely be a big fat NO! But did I enjoy the closeness, forgiveness, and resolution afterwards, oh very definitely YES!

Good luck on your journey – hope everything works out for you.

Clint said...

@Anonymous (August 1st 10:10 AM) - Congratulations on bringing DD into your marriage! I'm confident in saying that DD will enhance your marriage just as it has for so many other couples. You both won't regret your decision to begin living this lifestyle.

I can understand your hesitation to spank for things that happened in the past, however I DO feel it's appropriate if the wife is requesting it. She knows it would make her feel better about the past, and a "fresh start" for you both as you begin this lifestyle may be just what the doctor ordered for your marriage.

I feel compelled to say that just one spanking will suffice - I wouldn't spank multiple times for multiple past infractions. I would recommend you conduct one solid spanking session for the past mistakes, and move forward from there.

Good luck to you as you begin the lifestyle together!

@Eric - No offense whatsoever about the fact your gay. The only thing that matters to me is that you're a human being, just as I am.

I just want to start by quickly thanking you for being an avid reader of the blog. Your support means the world to me. I appreciate it very very much.

All your punishments are perfectly acceptable, and completely reasonable. Great job with those. With that said, it does sound a bit like your boyfriend is testing you. It honestly sounds as though he doesn't think you'll spank him, and therefore he's not respecting the rules as much as he should be.

I understand how you feel about not wanting to hurt your partner. I felt the same way the first time I spanked my wife. It's important to remember that while it IS painful for the recipient at first, the pain is temporary and you're doing this for the greater good of the relationship. It's not an easy thing to do for both partners, but once you get through your first spanking together, you'll see how the dynamic works. After a couple of hours, your partner won't be focusing on how you "hurt" him, but rather on how you followed through with what you said you were going to do, and how you cared enough about him and the relationship to put a stop to his relationship damaging behaviors. He'll respect you for that, I assure you.

Cat gave you some great posts to read, and I'm going to give you another one:

http://learningdd.blogspot.com/2012/03/addressing-spanking-issues-hesitation.html

This post addresses those feelings of hesitation that you're experiencing, and helps you to get past them.

I hope this helps and I wish you and your partner the best of luck going forward! All the best.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Thanks Clint. I'd like to extend my thanks to both you and Cat.

I do feel as though he is testing me at times, and I was pretty close to spanking him for the rudeness at the end of the letter.

Also, as for pointing out that I was gay, I feel it was the most understandable way to word the comment.

thanks again for the suggestions, and I'll let you know if I have any further questions.

-Eric

Anonymous said...

Clint,
Could you also use boot camp after you have been practicing for awhile for confession and slate wiping? There are some things I need to confess put I don't think we have the tools yet to deal with it (don't worry, nothing that will break the marriage, just a lot of guilt and truthfully I would rather be spanked then get the silent treatment which was the way things were dealt with in the past. The problem is I think it is going to take a while to get to the point were he is comfortable with spanking (it hasn't happened at all yet) while I have been carrying this guilt for years and want to be rid of it I can wait 6 more months and do it during boot camp. Or will that confuse the purpose of boot camp. Purchased the book and I have allot of other questions but this is the one that has been in my mind since the first time I heard of boot camp.
CP

Clint said...

@Eric - My pleasure. I'm always happy to help. Good luck to you in the future.

@CP - Thank you for purchasing the book. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful/helpful.

Confessions can happen at any time, really. They don't necessarily need to be done in boot camp. However, if you feel a spanking after your particular confession would help to "move past it all", I would wait and express the confession when your husband has experience in spanking you, and is comfortable with spanking you. That may be a month from now or six months from now, but that's when I would make the confession.

I would also recommend confessing as SOON as he is comfortable spanking. I wouldn't put it off any longer than necessary (basically I wouldn't wait until boot camp if you don't have to) so you don't have to carry around the guilt any longer than necessary.

I hope this helps you out. I wish you the best of luck in moving forward with the confession when the time comes to do so.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

My husband and I are quite inexperienced regarding spanking implements. (He usually uses his hand.) Therefore I'd be happy about answers from you, Clint, and from helpful readers of this blog.

What do you think about silicone kitchen tools as spanking implements? I can imagine that they should not break so easily? But what about the sting and the noise?

And what's your opinion on (plastic) fly-swatters? I think they seem rather harmless and light, but their sting is impressive (at least for me...). Well, no wonder, after all fly-swatters are made for KILLING... insects.
Tamira

Clint said...

@Tamira - I typically recommend against using silicone kitchen tools as spanking implements. Some (not ALL, but some) tend to be flimsy and offer a very short lasting sting that remains solely on the surface of the buttocks. Since the sting from these implements is generally short lived, they're relatively ineffective in correcting behaviors long term. As for the noise, it depends on what exactly is used. Something flat (like a spatula) will be louder than something that has a "curve" to it (like a silicone spoon). The more flat the implement, the louder it will be.

My feelings on a fly swatter are virtually the same as my feelings on silicone kitchen items. They're flimsy and the sting from them is not very long lasting. Also, fly swatters carry a "disgusting factor" (as I'm calling it) since they often carry the remains of killed house flies. In my opinion, fly swatters are unnecessary, and generally ineffective (long term), spanking implements.

Good luck with whichever implements you and your spouse choose to use in your marriage. All the best.

-- Clint

Karson Danger said...

Great blog. I have posted here once before. Hubby has an old school paddle about 14" long and 1/2".thick. It HURTS. Ge also uses a plastic bathbrush, it is worse because it is flexible. Anyway, both are great deterrants to bad behavior. We are very much a solid christian couple couple. W run two ministries, etc. I noticed you don't responde to email but we have some "christian specific" concerns. Is it possible to getin ontact with you and chelsea.. We are slightly new to this. I'm replying with my email. Thanks karsondanger@gmail.com

will ill said...

can i spank my teenagers with these when they are really bad? which ones can i use if i can?

Christina said...

@Will - With all due respect, you are on the wrong site if you're looking for Clint or anyone to offer advice that could be construed as supporting the corporal punishment of any minor, up to the age of majority, which includes your teenagers.

This is a blog for informational purposes and to offer support/advice to adults for the consensual spanking and other aspects that are part of an adult relationship with Domestic Discipline.

Thank you! (Mother of 7)

Christina said...

I certainly don't want the remains of house flies or other insects to be spread upon my sit upon with the use of a fly-swatter! If one is going to use a fly-swatter, I hope it is brand new and never used for anything else. But then, I've never been spanked with one before.

Sorry, I felt that I wanted to interject that here. LOL

Clint said...

@Karson Danger - You can contact us by commenting (as you've done), or you can email my wife at her email address found on her blog (under contact information). We're both on the LDD Social Network as well, if you'd like to sign up.

We look forward to hearing from you. All the best.

@will ill - Unfortunately this is not a parenting blog, so I will refrain from commenting on the punishing of your teenagers. This blog is about the Domestic Discipline lifestyle between two consenting adults and will remain solely as such going forward.

Sorry I cannot help you with your inquiries. All the best to you.

@Christina - The thought of spanking with a fly swatter has always disgusted me, but I'm in no position to judge those who choose to use this implement. Suffice it to say it will never be a part of our spanking implement arsenal.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. All the best to you and Jim.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

my husband uses his hand and a riding crop , both do the job well .

Rain982 said...

Hello, I just turned 30 and have yet to find a girl that I can settle down with. I have read the blog and like the idea of having a DD relationship. I am not sure where to find a partner who would be interested in this sort of lifestyle and I am too embarrased to come out and talk about it with just anyone. Are there any single ladies out there like me that is looking for a partner? I would make a great top or bottom, I don't care they all interest me. But I do tend to be pretty dominant so being the top would probably suit me better. If there are no single women on here than perhaps someone can give me some advice as to where I can meet a girl that is into DD. Thanks, Gary

Clint said...

@Anonymous (September 18th 4:45 AM) - I'm glad you've found what works in your marriage. Thanks for sharing your experience.

@Rain982 - Unfortunately I don't have any advice on where to find single women interested in DD. I feel compelled to say, however, that I think it's best if DD is brought into an already established relationship. It's recommended to establish a relationship built on love, trust, respect, etc. first, THEN entertain the idea of DD when you're both ready to take that step.

Just my thoughts on this, and I wish you the best of luck in finding a partner who is also interested in living a DD lifestyle.

All the best to you, Gary.

-- Clint

 
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