blogspot.com

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Immediate Swats


Image courtesy of quotescoop.com.
  We discuss a more immediate form of punishment as an alternate option to formal spanking.  You can read this article on our new website by clicking here.

24 comments:

JamesR said...

I hope I may be permitted to engage in a little constructive critical discussion of this post. First, I am not sure that it is true that more immediate consequences are really better than somewhat delayed consequences in effecting long term behavior. Is the lesson to avoid a certain type of misbehavior really more valuable if it is done five minutes after the offense, rather than 5 hours after the offense. Even in your example, would the lesson have been any less effective if the couple had continued to enjoy their evening together, but the husband had given her the swats right before bed after reminding her of her use of profanity.
Where immediacy can be of value is in deterring misbehavior in short run. A wife punished immediately upon making a mildly disrespectful remark is deterred from continuing to make such remarks in the immediate future. Doing things immediately may also assist consistency. Punishment deferred to a later hour can sometimes become punishment waived this time.
I think swats might be best seen as a possible penalty for a straightforward, relative minor offense, say closer to corner time than a serious spanking. The wife's use of profanity in your example is a good case. There is really not much to say by either party. The offense is more in the nature of a bad habit, than a real serious issue. The health of the marriage will not be seriously affected by if wife occasionally lets a curse word come out of her mouth. Swats seems like a fair penalty even if not done immediately.
I also think it needs to be remembered that a penalty must be proportionate to the offense, even if a harsher penalty might have stronger deterrent effect. A 10 year prison sentence for speeding might curb speeding more effectively than a $150 fine, but it would rightly be rejected as being too harsh. The same rule needs to apply in DD situations. HOHs need to avoid trying to curb a wife's habit with unduly harsh sanctions even if the habit frustrates the husband. To return to your example, 8-10 swats with the hand seems to be a far more reasonable consequence than 30 strikes with a paddle. To me, consistency of consequences is far more important when fighting a bad habit, than severity of consequences in any event.

SpankedWifeUK said...

I hate swats!

My HOH doesn't administer it OTK, usually I am instructed to turn round, bend over the table/sink, whereever I am.

The worst type are when I have said something rude and I can feel I have done wrong and hear him coming towards me. Then he will sharply swat me. The suprise always makes me what to cry, but stops my behaviour straight away!

Anonymous said...

swats are a good idea... however in England its called smacking not swatting. would you recommend smacking the wife for moody or rude behaviour? especially towards the husband. would you use smacking to punish or would you say a drawn out spanking is the best for this type of negative behaviour? also do you recommend smacking in the face or just the buttocks? i would have thought if the wife is being rude and disrespectful, that smacking in the face is 'punishment fitting the crime' type of thing.

Anonymous said...

OMG!!! To Anoymous April 30 2012, 6:40!

Are you freaking serious, really you honestly think smacking in the face is appropriate? If so, your wife needs to run, and run fast! Your crossing the line! I mean you really have to be crazy if you could actually smake your wife in the face! I don't think that this is the website for you, please move on.

Ashlee

Anonymous said...

Ashley
I'm right with you. I get swatted all the time,and they do serve as kind of an interruption. But a slap across the face is one of the most disrespectful things one person can do to the other. Me "running " would be the least of Rob's problems if he ever considered that a viable option. Luckily he would never consider that. It's not appropriate ever, not parent to child, not husband to wife.

Laurie

Anonymous said...

i have never smacked my wife in the face. it was just a question. this site is very useful at times to scan through and pick up on advice, therefore i was asking advice on this matter. i very really smack my wife on the buttocks and would not hit her in the face. thank you for your responses but please dont 'jump to the gun' here.

tom

Anonymous said...

tom...

I'm sorry, but your response sounds as if you would smack your wife in the face. I really hope that you would never do such a thing, the best to you and your family.

Ashlee

Clint said...

@JamesR - I agree with a lot of what you said, particularly in the second and third paragraphs of your comment. I've always felt that the "punishment should fit the crime" so to speak, which I think is what you're getting at in your comment - and I agree with that.

I do, however, feel that the more immediate the consequence can be, the more effective it will be. Delaying a spanking for a few hours is okay - it's not going to make matters significantly worse by any means - however, the sooner it can be done the better for overall effectiveness of correcting any given negative behavior. The sooner the punishment can be carried out also helps the wife - she doesn't worry for hours upon hours about the forthcoming punishment. Delaying the punishment any longer than necessary is unfair to her.

I appreciate your comment and you make a lot of good points. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. All the best to you.

@SpankedWifeUK - That's what swats are all about - immediate consequences to curb an unwanted, dangerous or detrimental behavior right away. I'm glad you've found what works best for you both!

@Anonymous (April 30th 6:40 AM) - To answer the first question in your comment - yes, I feel swatting (or smacking as you call it) for attitude, moody or rude behavior, etc. is appropriate if it's a rather infrequent occurrence, however if it's a long standing issue and the wife is repeatedly displaying this type of behavior, it's best to go with a formal spanking.

For your second question, no I do not condone, advise or recommend swatting (or smacking) anyone on the face, whether it be your spouse or otherwise, for any reason. In the United States, any swat, slap, or smack in the face on another human being is the ultimate display of disrespect. I can't speak for the UK since I've never been there, but you simply should never do such a thing in the United States for a lot of different reasons. I'd imagine that's a fairly universal and global code of conduct.

I hope these answers helped you out. Best of luck to you in all your future endeavors.

@Ashlee - I appreciate you taking the time to offer your opinion on the matter. All the best to you and yours.

@Laurie - I appreciate you offering your opinion as well. I hope you and Rob are doing well.

All the best to each one of you.

-- Clint

Anne said...

Well, case in point - Tim spanked me immediately the other night - for cussing at him. I just lost it. Did not feel well and said something that I should not have. Yes, Clint we do it like you said. otk.

Clint said...

@Anne - Things like that happen sometimes. Hopefully it helps in getting the issue fixed.

Best of luck to you, Anne. Thank you for sharing your comment.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

i get swats all the time as well as the mre drawn out punishments for more serious offences. its working.
hugs kiwi xxx

Clint said...

@Kiwi - Swats can definitely be effective and can curb behaviors quickly. I'm glad they're working for you. Thank you for sharing your experience.

All the best.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

I don't know if it's the right place to post this comment. I'm I'm dd with my wife since six years, but I'm the bottom of the couple. Anyway, we like your blog, and she find a lot of things to increase the level of my punishments. Hard for me, I experimented advanced punishmemt yesterday and I'm today really sore today. I'm also grounded for two weeks with early bedtime at 7 o'clock pm every Saturday.
The swats are really common at home. But she uses a little strap, always on the coffe table, and she "spank" my palms with. It's painfull and very effective.
Please, Clint, suggest more indulgence from the HOH. Since she find out your blog, my wife is more strict with me. Spanking are hardier, and when we have a weekend, I have now frequent silence spankings. Before, she didn't punish me immediately, and when we're return at home she had often forget my fault and I kept my bottom white.

Anonymous said...

My husband wrote a message today at 4.13 pm. I just find out it, and he will be punish for that. Please, Clint, excuse him for his insolence, and the incongruity of post in your blog reserved to dd relationship with a submissive wife. I'm so furious. I think he deserves a trasformational spanking. ( by the way, why you don't speak about this sort of punishment ?)
Excuse also his bad English and mine, we are French people.
Best regards.
Marie

Bratty Adaline said...

After a sore bottom just a swat or two as a stern reminder is enough for me to stop the spiral or the attitude and focus on what I was doing. I'm learning something new every day on your blog. I realize this is just how you and your wife practice but I appreciate all the info.
Take care,
Addy

Clint said...

@Anonymous (May 28th 4:13 AM) - I understand you're looking for me to recommend more leniency from the HoH, however it is important for the HoH to punish for mistakes as soon after the mistake as possible. I trust that your HoH has your best interest at heart and is doing what she feels is best for your marriage.

Good luck to you.

@Marie - It's quite alright. Unless it upsets you, you and your husband can comment whenever you feel compelled to do so. That's what the blog is for. To discuss Domestic Discipline.

I choose not to discuss transformational spankings on this blog since I do not support or condone them, nor do I feel they're necessary. If you and your spouse mutually consent to them and you both find them beneficial to your marriage, then so be it. All I wish for any couple is that they find happiness in their marriage.

All the best to you both.

@Addy - Not everything on the blog is necessarily how my wife and I practice, but we've been through or experienced most of it. Anyway, I'm glad you're learning new things from the blog and I hope you and your spouse find them beneficial to your marriage. That's what it's all about and why I put so much time into it. I'm glad to hear it's paying off. :)

All the best to you, Addy.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

I'm the anonymous of 28 may. I write this post to beg your pardon, Clint, for my precedent post. I didn't have to critic your recommendations. I was hardly punished yesterday for that by my wife. The worst spanking of my life. My bottom will be sore for one week at least. I understand now my fault. This fessée as one says in France is really a lesson.
Thank you Marie for this punishment. Thank you Clint for your smart blog.

Clint said...

@Anonymous (June 12th 9:05 PM) - I appreciate your apology, thank you. You didn't have to do that, but I appreciate it nonetheless.

All the best to you. Feel better soon.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

If someone was uncomfortable with 'swats' in public, for example, if my wife was to cuss at me in a store or resteraunt, how would I deal with the situation? Would I immediatly take her out to the car and swat her or would I wait till we get home to punish her?

Clint said...

@Anonymous (July 20th 3:55 PM) - In a situation such as the one you have described, I would recommend you rather sternly warn your wife that her cussing isn't respectful/appropriate and that it needs to stop before she gets herself in any further hot water first. It's fair to give her some kind of warning before taking action.

If she does not respond to your warning, there are a couple of options for you to consider. You could apply a silent spanking in the car in an area that would be out of view to any potential bystander as soon as you can. That's one option.

A second option is to wait until you get home, as you suggested. At that point you can administer any punishment you feel is appropriate to address the disrespect/cursing issue.

If this is a repeat issue for you, I would also suggest you let her know prior to going out that you expect her to be respectful and still follow the rules, even when in public situations. That let's her know that you're still going to enforce the rules even when in public, so it would be in her best interest to follow them at all times.

I hope this helps you out. Best of luck to you.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Thank you Clint, we are going out for dinner with our frinds tonight and I will be sure to use your advice!

Clint said...

@Anonymous (July 24th 12:27 PM) - It was my pleasure. I'm glad I could help. Enjoy your evening out!

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Me and my wife have been in a DD relationship for 4 years and sometimes my wife has these phases where she likes to test her boundries in our relationship and as a part of her "limit-testing" phase she does things that warrant a spanking but then refuses to get spanked. I know I could never force her to do anything I just dont know how to deal with her when she is in the phases. Please help!!

Clint said...

@Anonymous (July 31st 8:27 PM) - Wow, I can certainly understand your frustration. I think that would irritate any HoH, including myself.

Anyway, in a situation as the one you've described, I'd recommend punishing with bedroom time, or removal of multiple privileges until she's ready to accept her spanking. For instance, punish by taking away internet, TV, and reading (books/magazines) privileges until she's ready to accept her spanking. This may become a battle of wills, however, and if that happens, I would then recommend privilege-free bedroom time until she's ready to cooperate with the spanking.

Whatever you do, do NOT let her off of the hook with the spanking. If you've decided to spank, you MUST spank at some point, no matter what. She cannot "learn" that her stubbornness is an effective way of getting out of a spanking.

I hope this helps you out. Good luck to you.

-- Clint

 
Design by Chelsea C. Designs | Bloggerized by Blogger | Copyright 2011