Thursday, November 10, 2011

Thank You - Love Our Lurkers Day!

Image courtesy of My Bottom Smarts.
  We take a moment to celebrate our silent readers in a day dedicated to them - Love Our Lurkers Day.  You can read this article on our new website by clicking here


Learning Domestic Discipline said...

Great post babe! -Chels

Kady said...

Happy LOL Day! Thanks for the awesome posts!

Anonymous said...

Well, since it's lurker day -- hi! I am a lurker. I am a woman and not in a DD relationship, nor do I ever expect to be in one. I don't know exactly why I come here -- DD is a kind of fantasy, I guess, though not one I feel comfortable with. I think how it would be wonderful in some ways to have someone else taking responsibility for my moral development, but the truth is I don't think it would actually be the genuine article for me if someone else was controlling me -- I personally have to feel like I am striving for moral improvement out of my own freedom and not out of fear of punishment. It's interesting that it works for some women, though. I almost wish it worked for me. As far as my relationship status, I've had a very good and stress-free marriage for over 13 years, so improving the marriage is not really a concern.
So, now you know a lurker...

Kay said...

Love ya, Clint! Happy LOL Day! Thanks for all the awesome posts (I still won't ever say I appreciate the cap cream, boot camp, or advanced spanking posts, especially if my husband lurks and finds them, lol, but all the rest are GREAT)! And of course I'll be forever grateful for the Network! :D

Hermione said...

I'm a regular visitor to your blog, and always enjoy your posts. Thanks for being a part of LOL 6.


Susie said...

We (my husband and I) tried to de-lurk a few posts ago, but blogger wouldn't let us because we weren't members. My husband has enjoyed looking through some of your posts--lol, I think he likes the info without all the emotion.

Anonymous said...

I am a lurker. My husband and I are new to DD, so I am still not 100% comfortable posting. He is still laying down ground rules. I have regular maintenance spankings and a few weeks ago one of those maintenance sessions turned into a punishment (I got mouthy) and for the first time in my life I was brought to tears with a spanking. Last night I received only my 2nd ever punishment spanking with our paddle. I had problem staying in position and being quiet. Every time he had to stop because I was wiggling or yelling he sent me to the corner. (my first ever time spent in the corner). While in the corner he lectured me about being still and quiet and about why I was being punished (not taking care of my health and not getting my homework done). After a while in the corner he would resume with my paddling. I ended up in the corner three times which resulted in far more swats that he originally planned. Today, I can hardly sit. So far I love DD. I love submitting to his authority. I do hope he continues to progress as the HOH I need him to be. I would love for him to be way more strict with me. Do you think it is okay for me to ask for him to impose more rules and tougher penalties. I would also like for him to not let me "slide".

Heather said...

I have been lurking for a while now but I have decided that it is time to make myself known. My husband and I have been married for six years and we are approaching our year anniversary of DD. We both greatly appreciate the advice and information that we have received from you. Thanks!

Learning Domestic Discipline said...

@Chelsea - Thanks dear. :)

@Kady - You're most welcome, and thank you for reading!

@Anonymous (November 10th 9:30 PM) - Hello, and thank you for taking the time to comment. It's great to hear from you! Perhaps I haven't done the best job at explaining DD if you feel it's "controlling." It's not, and it's something I feel could help any marriage, regardless of the length of that marriage, but I certainly understand your point of view on the matter and I hope you find happiness in whatever marriage dynamic you choose to go with. Again, thank you for commenting and thank you so much for reading the blog. All the best to you.

@Kay - Thank you! I'm glad you enjoy (most of) the blog, and I appreciate your support so much. I'm sure I'll talk to you again soon on the network. :)

@Hermione - Thank you for reading and supporting the blog. It's very much appreciated. All the best.

@Susie - I'm so glad to hear you two enjoy the blog. I certainly hope if find it to be a useful resource for your marriage. Thank you for reading! I hope to hear more from you in the future.

@Anonymous (November 11 9:20 AM) - Thank you for reading the blog and commenting to let me know you're there. I'm so glad to hear you're bringing DD into your marriage. I think you'll find it helpful as you and your husband continue to grow together as a couple.

Yes, I feel it's okay to ask your husband to enforce the rules more consistently, or with "tougher penalties" as you put it. Your husband isn't going to know how you feel about the DD practices within your marriage unless you tell him, so I definitely encourage you to express your feelings about any and all things to him. You should work together to find what works best for you both so you can improve upon your marriage and grow together as a couple. Consistency with the rules is important for a lot of reasons, so it's certainly worth your time to discuss things with your husband to get the results you're looking for. Good luck to you!

@Heather - I'm glad you let me know you're reading! It's wonderful to hear from new people, and even better to hear that the information on the blog is enhancing their marriage. Thank you for reading and supporting the Learning Domestic Discipline blog. All the best to you!

-- Clint

c.j. said...

Hi Clint,
Me again. I am still gathering my thoughts and my courage to approach my husband about DD. I think we both feel there is something missing - some dynamic that could change and make things better. That being said, I have a question for you and even any other husbands who might read this. What do you feel are the top 5 things a husband needs/wants from his wife? I have my own thoughts, but I just want to see if I am even in the ballpark! Again, I appreciate your time.

Anonymous said...

Hey Clint...question about corner when I'm put in corner time on its own or before or after a spanking, I have to be naked from the waist down. It is sort of embarrassing having to be in the corner with my bottom showing! My HOH says this is to remind me that I'm in trouble, to humble me, and to make me think about receiving a possible spanking if I turn around or talk or something in corner time. This works because when we started with corner time I was much less compliant. And now I feel so exposed and prepared for a spanking that I stay very still until I'm told I'm allowed out.

Is this a normal way to do corner time? Do you recommend it or no??

just curious


Learning Domestic Discipline said...

@C.J. - This is a wonderful, thought-provoking question. The best way I can answer this is by answering it personally. Every husband is going to have their own personal list, of course, but I'll give you mine.

1) Support. Without a doubt a supportive wife means everything to me, and my wife does an outstanding job with this.
2) Respect. This may be #1 on a lot of husbands lists. It's extremely important to me that my wife be respectful to me, as well as respectful to others.
3) Safety/Responsibility. I need my wife, and our son needs his mom, so it's extremely important that my wife be safe/responsible with her decisions.
4) Honesty/Trust. Dishonestly creates cracks in the foundation of trust, and without trust in a marriage things will fall apart very fast.
5) Maturity. This is mostly for communication purposes. Immaturity (in serious matters) leads to arguments, and arguments lead to disharmony in the home. Now that we have a child to care for, this one becomes that much more important.

Again, this was a wonderful question. I'd love to hear more responses from other HoH's. Well see if any of them want to respond with their lists. I hope you're doing well, C.J. Good luck with everything going forward.

@D - This is a common way of doing corner time, yes. I wouldn't necessarily say "normal" because "normal" can be defined differently in every marriage. Anyway, this is definitely common, so you shouldn't feel alone in doing it this way.

I recommend doing this on a case by case basis, basically. I'm fine with couples doing corner time in this manner, but I typically don't recommend couples jump right into doing it this way from the start. What I mean is that I typically recommend couples begin conducting corner time in the manner I've described on this blog (Punishment #1: Corner Time), and only escalating it if necessary. If the wife has a hard time focusing, or if she continuously tries to leave the corner, or she tries to rub her buttocks while standing in the corner after a spanking, then yes, I'm comfortable with recommending couples take the measures that you and your husband have taken.

I would generally try to avoid doing corner time like this simply due to the embarrassing/humiliating factor for the wife you touched on, however I'm comfortable recommending it be done like this if the wife isn't cooperative during corner time. I'd hope it doesn't get to this point, but in the end, that's ultimately determined by how the wife handles her punishment in the first place.

The manner in which you described corner time not only achieves the things your husband said it does, but it also greatly reduces the likelihood of the wife rubbing the buttocks after a spanking for the exact reason you stated: "I feel so exposed and prepared for a spanking..." Knowing a spanking could be forthcoming if the wife rubs it usually acts as a strong enough deterrent to keep her from doing so.

As with anything in a DD marriage, you should ultimately do what works best for you both.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

thank you clint! I feel less embarrassed about the baring now that I know it is somewhat common. I hate to admit it but it does work. So, if any HoH's are having trouble with compliance in cornertimes or the wife laughs cornertime off like it is nothing, the ritualized baring will fix that issue. My HoH says he has no plans to change the way corner time is conducted in our home because he sees the benefit of this way from the way we started with all clothes on.
I even got corner time today for talking back and I'm happy I took the punishment seriously and that it made me reconsider my attitude so that I didn't end up needing a spanking.


Anonymous said...

I'm definitely a lurker. I've lurked on here off and no for a while now. I frequently tell my husband what I read on here! Just last night I was saying something to him and I think I said something like "Clint says, You know Clint from that blog..." My husband interupted me with "Yes I know who Clint is, you've told me all about CLint!" it was pretty funny. :)He wasn't angry or anything he was amused. He appreciate's your advice as well.

Learning Domestic Discipline said...

@Anonymous (January 7th 4:00 PM) - That's wonderful! And a bit funny, I must say. :) I'm so happy to hear I've earned the trust within your household. That means a lot to me. I certainly hope the blog is helpful to your marriage, and I can't thank you enough for your support. Thank you for reading!

All the best to you!

-- Clint

MrandMrsB said...

I lurk, and get a lot of advice!
Though we have been married a long time, we are still findings ways of dealing with issues. My default mode is to tell her that I dislike something that she's started and ask her to put it right. If she doesn't I spank her. The 1st time this happened, she was weepy, turned and kissed me, and went straight to the bathroom. She thought that she had wet herself, but she was just very moist!
I now know that if I spank her I should be aware of this, so I pull down her panties and check!
Last night she flatly refused to do something, though she was tired. I told her off, slept on it, reminded her this morning and if she doesn't do what I wanted last night I will spank her. Giving her a chance to make amends.
She has been a lot happier since we began this system.
Thanks for reading this: it's probably not couched in the appropriate language, but I noticed that one poster had brought up the issue of sexual arousal.

Learning Domestic Discipline said...

@MrandMrsB - It's wonderful to hear you've found a system that works best for you both. Some couples experience sexual arousal from spanking and some do not, but the bottom line is that you've found something that works for you both and improves the dynamic between you two, which is great. Thank you for sharing your experience.

All the best!

-- Clint

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