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Learning Domestic Discipline
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Posted in: Spanking Punishment
LDD's Weekly Recap: July 29th - August 4th
11 years ago
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Silent Spankings
Posted in: Spanking Punishment
Posted in: Spanking Punishment
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143 comments:
I am not showing this one to my husband. Ouch!
For caspian cream, I heard that you can apply it from the hip all the way down to the sit spot. And that the more you use the more effective?
@Anonymous - I would recommend against those two things. I would keep the cream concentrated on the lower buttocks/sit spot. You want this to simulate a spanking as closely as possible, and spanking anywhere near the hips is something nobody should be doing.
The more you use the more effective it would be is a valid statement, but this is powerful stuff and I would not use any more than I have recommended. You definitely want to use a cautious approach when using the cream. It's easier to add a little if you didn't use enough, and it's much harder to remove it if you've used too much. Start small and increase as needed, but don't go overboard.
-- Clint
Thanks Clint. Your advice is so helpful and I love your social network. Is there a way to link the social network onto here so we can leave comments signed in?
Thanks,
Sammy
@Sammy - Thank you for your kind words and I'm glad you're enjoying the network! I am too. :)
That's a very good question, and a good idea. I'll look into it and see if that's something we can do.
-- Clint
Is this better than spanking for couples with kids? I'm still trying to figure out how to spank without my children knowing what's going on. We are in very early stages, and I haven't really spanked yet. I do not think it's appropriate for them to know what's going on.
@Anonymous - I agree with you - your children don't need to know about this. They won't understand at all.
Silent spankings are an alternative to traditional spankings, but I would only use them if you must. Whenever possible you should spank traditionally as it's better to do medically. I wouldn't say silent spankings are "better", but they're an option if you're in a bind. I would try to spank when your children are at school, or at a friends house, or asleep, etc. It's not easy to work around the schedule of your children, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.
-- Clint
What about figging?
@Anonymous - Figging is something I do not advise, condone or recommend. I feel it's completely unnecessary. This quote is taken directly from Wikipedia: "it now most commonly refers to a practice in BDSM." As we established in the "Spanking vs. Abuse: Clearing Up Misconceptions" post on this blog, BDSM and Domestic Discipline are two completely different things. Under no circumstances would I ever recommend figging to anyone.
-- Clint
I had to go look up figging - never heard of the term before. I agree, that's something that is practiced by people that have other elements in their relationships than just DD. WOW!!
we have children in our home old and young. To make matters worse my husband works nights. Our only time especially in the summer time is early Sunday mornig. I dont see how dd can be effective only once a week.
My husband tried Capsacian on me this morning - WOW talk about hot-cross-buns!! He's very happy to have found your tip.
@Anonymous - It's a powerful little cream, isn't it? I'm glad your husband appreciates the tip. Hopefully in the long run it helps your marriage. Feel better soon. :)
-- Clint
I've been reading the blog with my wife, who first thought we shouldn't read this post, then tried to tell me the page link was broken, and finally after reading the article, that the cream isn't available outide the US. It's available and I think its time my wife experiences a silent spanking. Thank you for the information as I'd never heard of it before. You have a well-writen and informative blog.
Jim
@Jim - Thanks for your comment and your kind words about the blog. I'm glad you find parts of it helpful for your marriage.
I happen to know who your wife is from talking to her in the network, and she's a joy to have a part of the community. She has a wonderful sense of humor and she has some great, creative ideas that always make me think. Her saying the link was broken, and that the cream isn't available outside of the U.S. makes me laugh. She's quite the character. :)
Hopefully you find the cream silent spanking helpful for you.
Thanks again for your comment, Jim. It's great to hear from you.
-- Clint
Yowsers. We are staying at my in-laws and so I have been taken out in the vehicle for a spanking as we are used to maintenance twice a week and punishment when need. Trying to do this quietly has been a challenge. He's done it, but it's been trickly. But now he read the Capsacian tip and this morning I had to lean over the bathtub after my shower and he rubbed it into my sit spot. At first I thought I was enjoying the cupping and groping of my lower butocks but I soon felt differently. It packs a powerful punch and gets worse for 20 minutes. We took pictures then and it honestly looks like he's taken the wooden spoon to me. Not sure I appreciate your blog at the moment! We use the heating pad regularly after a spanking at home. It is the consequence for squirming or clenching.
Great tip. Tried it twice after a late night run to Walgreens. Thanks. I usually redden her whole bottom, so I used cream where the cheeks meet things and then a small circle in the middle of each cheek the second time and she said she felt more like a normal spanking. She had a hot bottom for a couple of hours and got out of the pool very quickly an hour into it the second time because water didn't cool. The reminder to submit and obey was there for awhile without the hassle of having to find a quiet place in a hotel to discipline. Tip - You only need a very little but have to rub it in and wash you own hands right after rubbing it in.
This cream is evil!!!!!! Very effective though, I'll be the first to admit. I experienced it for the first time yesterday. I actually got a warm-up spanking first (I really deserved what I got) We had to leave to go get our car insurance settled (this was part of the reason I got disciplined) and then had to head up to a family gathering that was an hour away so there was no time for a traditional spanking. Anyway, the cream takes a while on me to heat up but once it does I thought I had fire coming out of my pants! When I finally thought it had gone away two hours later, it came back for round two and three and four! Also, I would strongly advise against trying to wipe it off because you might get it in other places you definitely don't want it to be!!! Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the tip because this is the first "spanking" I've received that I will seriously think twice before I make the same mistake again. I also wanted to thank you for your advice the other day. As you can see, our conversation worked really well. My husband took control and made a rock-solid decision. Even though I'm still a little sore today, I truly appreciated his authority. I think he also realized what his responsibility is as my spiritual leader when I stated that not only will he have to account for his sins one day, but mine as well (We don't have kids yet). He told me that he had never thought about it that way before but when I put it in that light it makes perfect sense for him to discipline me when it's necessary. So, thank you for the tip about the cream and thank you again for your advice!
@Anonymous (August 4, 2011 12:34 PM) - That cream is a lot more powerful than it looks, that's for sure. Hopefully you and your spouse find it useful for you in tough situations. Thank you for your comment!
@Anonymous (August 4, 2011 1:13 PM) - Thank you and I'm glad it worked well for you. I agree with your tip about washing your hands afterwards. That's a good idea. I should have included it in the post. Thank you for your comment!
@Learning_curves - I'm glad you find the cream helpful in your marriage. You bring up a great point - it's best not to rub it around or it WILL get on spots you don't want it to be and it will certainly burn/sting like crazy. I'm glad your husband was able to step up a little bit, and I'm glad I could help you two out. You're welcome for the tip, you're welcome for the advice, and I wish you all the best in the future. Thank you for your comment!
-- Clint
I just found your blog and I really do love the straightforward advice given by Clint and everyone.
My husband and I are "trying" DD- or rather Im trying to get him to try and he reluctantly is going along with me some- I saw your post on silent spankings and decided to use it on myself after I had been really disrespectful to him. I apologized to him first and he said all was forgiven but did not want to punish me. I felt so guilty though and then I saw your post so I used a little of the cream (we had some at home) and oh my gosh you are right about the sting...Im an attorney and I sit at my computer for a good part of my day and it was extremely unconfortable. I told him later about the "punishment" and he smiled and said he would have to remember that one...maybe if I can get him to read some of the blog-might help him understand better. Although if a "real" spanking feels like that sting perhaps Im not in such a hurry :)
Also, one question- and its honestly just a question, not trying to take this to areas it was not meant to go I swear- if my husband does not want to punish is it wrong to punish myself- don't misunderstand- not bdsm or anything like that- take away my own priveledges or the cream like before? too weird? I try to work on my submission even when he isn't leading, as a christian I believe the same as you have post regarding a wifes respect and behavior to her husband-
Just wondered if any of the other wives ever have that problem when they aren't punished but feel like they should have been.
Sorry for the long post...
Hi anonymous...I'm sure Clint will answer you as well but since you were wondering about other wives feeling like they should have been punished but weren't...I've been down that road recently. If you punish yourself than you'd be taking control away from your husband. Just accept that you didn't need to be punished when your husband decides not to punish you. It does help to talk about it with him, and Clint gave me some great advice in the comments section of "Alternative punishments" about why your husband might be wary of punishing you or doesn't seem to be taking his authority to where you'd like it to be. I'd check that out! Normally I don't leave comments on other people's blogs like this but I just felt I had a good answer for you. Good luck with your new DD adventure!
Thanks Learning Curves! It was very nice of you to take the time to answer my post :) I see your point about taking control away from him, which was not my intention at all...but I do see how that is what I was ultimately doing- I guess I fell back into the pattern of...well if he isn't going to lead then I guess I will just do it myself-
That was not my consious thought when I punished myself b/c he didn't but definately what I wound up doing...in my line of work I tend to be in charge all day so it does get hard for me to give that up sometimes no matter how much I want to
Thank you again for your reply- I was hoping for some perspective on it that I was perhaps not seeing and I appreciate that you took the time to do that :)
Oh and I will check out Clints comments in "alternate punishments" so thanks for tipping me off to that =)
This idea is so helpful. Used yesterday and put very small "drops" of it on several areas of each cheek. Having "hot patches" seemd very effective. With very little she said it felt like her whole butt was on fire. She thinks it is worse than going over my knee. I bought another tube for the glovebox today. We won't use it often, but it's a good quiet option especially in public. I hate delayed discipline for our kids or in our relationship.
@Anonymous (August 5th 11:54 AM) - I agree with the comment that Learning_curves left you. I feel it's best to have your husband hold you accountable for your actions. I understand you have those feelings of guilt and you feel better when held accountable for your actions, but it really is best for the husband to assume the disciplinarian role so he doesn't experience any feelings of inadequacy, or feelings like he isn't doing his "job" at protecting you and your marriage. That's an important feeling to men, believe me. I know that isn't your intention at all, but it could possibly make your husband feel some of those types of feelings.
I also agree with Learning_curves about reading my response to her under the "Additional Punishments" post. I think you'll find it helpful in this circumstance. It's all about communication.
@Learning_curves - Thank you so much for your comment. It's up to the HoH to punish for what he feels are unacceptable behaviors, so you're right, if the HoH feels it isn't a punishable offense then so be it.
@Anonymous (August 5th 3:24 PM) - Great! I'm glad you find it helpful. It's definitely a convenient way to hold the wife accountable when you can't spank the traditional way. Thank you for your comment.
-- Clint
Please don't post suggestions like this here. My hubby found it this week and I cannot sit comfortably this morning. A cream totally caught me off guard.
I am the above husband who just showed her your suggestion. One question - Do you find this more effective to use this discipline right before bed or right away in the day hours? Ted
Mike here. Just found your blog. Is this C cream stronger than Bengay. We use BG but I use a toothbrush or condom over a finger to apply it so I don't get the burn. Never thought of using it over a big area. My gf is an impulsive spender and wanted a lasting reminder to think carefully. Tried spanking, credit cards in freezer and then she suggested a line of BG down either side of her crack before big trips to the mall (careful not to go deep into the crack or too far down, that would hurt her). She says it helps a lot but we don't use it for silent spankings. Maybe the C cream is a step up for that?
@Anonymous (August 6th 11:11 AM) - The cream is certainly is an unpleasant experience. I hope you see the reason behind the punishment, rather than concentrating all your focus on how painful it is. I'm sure your husband was punishing you for something he felt was dangerous or detrimental to the marriage. Feel better soon and all the best to you.
@Ted - This cream is effective at all hours of the day, really. I would try to keep from doing it right before bed since hopefully you would have time to do a traditional spanking instead, and your wife will need her sleep. The silent spanking cream should only be used when traditional spankings are absolutely out of the realm of possibility. But, to answer your question, I'd recommend using them more during the day than right before bed whenever possible.
@Mike - Yes, the Capsaicin Cream is stronger than Ben Gay. In fact, some women feel nothing at all from the Ben Gay. It just depends on the person. I've yet to hear of any women being unaffected by the Capsaicin Cream.
Yes, I feel Capsaicin Cream would be a step up from Ben Gay. Please use caution and care when using this cream. It sounds like you will, but I just want to make sure. It's powerful. Start with just a little bit, and increase from there as needed. It's better to start with too little than too much. Also, the sit spot should suffice for application. Of course this is up to you, but I recommend it be only applied to the sit spot.
-- Clint
I was just reading some of the comments and I would like to say that I love your approach to things Clint. You have a reasonable answer to everything, but most importantly your approach to discipline is simply to keep your wife safe and your marriage healthy. Chelsea is very lucky to have such a loving and caring husband and I hope my husband can learn a few thing's from you. Thank You for having this blog! Much love,
Molly
@Molly - Well thank you so very much Molly. That was very nice of you to say, and I thank you for taking the time to comment. I hope people realize there IS a way to approach DD in a very loving and caring manner, and that's what I want people to take from the blog the most. You have one thing backwards though - I'm lucky to have my wife, not the other way around. :)
Best of luck to you and your husband in the future Molly.
-- Clint
My husband put some of this on my before we took a long car ride.. The burning feeling lasted almost 8 hours, all though it would come and go depending on what we were doing. He applied at at 1pm and when I showered before bed it was still burning! Not sure I am happy we found this idea, but it works for sure... Oh and after that shower I still had 10 swats coming! Not fun, but sure got the message loud and clear... Thanks for your site and taking the time to share with others.
Candice
@Candice - You're welcome, and I'm glad you enjoy the site. Thank you so much for reading.
The cream is certainly a powerful "spanking" tool. Eight hours seems a little long..perhaps he applied just a LITTLE too much, but regardless, it certainly is effective in situations where traditional spankings aren't an option.
Thank you for your comment! All the best to you.
-- Clint
I think it lasted so long due to the heat from sitting for hours driving, we tried it again yesterday to see how it would be on a normal day. The burn lasted a few hours. Now we both have an understanding if this option and feel it will be useful in our life. We both travel alot and at times are apart for up to 2 weeks. This will be a way to keep bad habits at bay/ in check when he feels I am getting a bit too bratty. Thanks again.
@Candace - A few hours sounds much better. I'm glad you both find this idea useful/helpful for your marriage.
-- Clint
Perhaps this is a bit of a silly question but in regards to his applying it...does it not affect the hands? (since you say water makes it hurt worse)
Is there a UK equivalent to this cream?
I'm sorry. I'm new to the whole concept of domestic discipline marriage. but if i did either of these things to my children in lieu of spanking, i'm pretty sure it would be considered abuse! how would you respond to that?
If it's a consensual practice between 2 adults, it can' t be considered abuse.
@anonymous 1 September 0546 re uk equivalent of cream. Being in the uk myself I felt pretty safe and smug due to capsican cream not being sold over here. However thanks to a collaboration between my hubby and those ever so helpful chaps over at amazon grrrrrr! (and maybe a teensy bit of overspending on my part!) I am sat here (very uncomfortably I may add) this evening feeling like my entire rear end is on fire! This stuff is plain eeeeeevil!
@Anonymous (September 1st 2:57 PM) - If the cream is left on the fingers/hands for an extended period of time it could effect the fingers/hands, but the HOH should wipe his hands off (with a paper towel or something to that effect) soon after application so that doesn't happen. It shouldn't be an issue if that is done.
@Anonymous (September 1st 5:46 PM) - Unfortunately since I'm in the United States, I'm not familiar with a similar cream that may be sold in the UK. Perhaps other commenters (like the one just above my comment here) may be able to help you find something similar. I would check local stores for arthritis creams since that's all Capsaicin Cream (or Bengay cream) is, essentially.
@Anonymous (September 6th 12:08) - Domestic Discipline has nothing to do with children. Children should be left out of it entirely. Domestic Discipline is for relationships/marriages between two consenting life partners.
@Anonymous (September 7th 1:11 PM) - I agree. Thank you for your comment.
@Anonymous (September 8th 12:02 PM) - Thank you for your comment. It sounds like there is something similar available in the UK. If you could share the name of the cream here in the comments, that may be helpful to a lot of readers. Thanks!
I wish all of you the very best. Thank you for patiently waiting for my response (computer troubles), and thank you all for your comments!
-- Clint
Would Icyhot Work?
Adam
@Adam - The most honest answer I can give you is this: I don't know if Icyhot would work. The only two creams I'm comfortable recommending are Capsaicin Cream and Bengay. I've used these two personally, and I know they're both effective for what you're trying to achieve.
All the best to you!
-- Clint
This stuff made me cry :(
BG is not too bad. The burning is not too intense. However, Capsaicin is evil and should be destroyed! Yow! I can't emphasize enough that you should only use a tiny bit! Another thing that helps hold the sting in is a pair of snug panties. My husband has never used this for punishment and I hope he never gets the idea! Maybe I shouldn't have given him the link to this website? LOL!
@Karyn - I think you share the same sentiment with several other wives. The Capsaicin Cream is potent stuff and I've tried to emphasize that all over this blog entry, as well as in the comments of this particular entry. Use it very very carefully.
Even though you may temporarily regret it, I'm glad you gave your husband the link to the site! Thank you for your support of the blog, and thank you for reading.
All the best!
-- Clint
I tried doing this myself, because I have a boyfriend that does not want to give me punishment spankings. I know I have a tough butt, but it must be tougher than I thought. I used a little cream like you said, but nothing. I used a LOT, and all I feel is just a little warm. Oh well, guess I need to try something else :(
@Anonymous (October 14th 11:12 AM) - I'm surprised to hear it had little to no effect on you. As you can see from other commenters, the cream definitely has an effect on most women. You win some, you lose some. I wish you the best on finding what works for you.
Good luck!
-- Clint
It took 3 applications, 2 hours, and a half hour on a heated car seat; finally it hurts although only when I sit! I think it may be because I have a lot of fat that it had to get through. Does that make sense? Will that also mean that I'll need a lot more of the real thing when we get to that?
P.S. It still isn't enough to be a deterrent, I don't think.
@Anonymous - That makes sense and perhaps it will take a bit more cream for your particular case. Every woman reacts differently to the cream, and from the sound of it you will need more cream applied to see any kind of result.
If you feel the cream won't help in correcting a behavior, then perhaps the cream isn't for your marriage. There's no need for use of something that you feel won't work anyways. A negative attitude towards it from the start will give it no chance of overall effectiveness. It seems your mentality is already that of "I'm going to beat this cream..this isn't going to work and I'll make sure it doesn't..", so it most certainly will not be effective with that way of thinking. I may be wrong, but that's the impression I get here.
I hope you find something that will work for your marriage. All the best to you!
-- Clint
My husband was so excited to find this post. He went to 6 different stores to find this stuff and couldn't wait to try it when he finally got home with it. We were both disappointed when it did absolutely nothing for me. He applied it 3 times and stil no results. I can NOT take a hard spanking and we were both looking forward to this. I guess I will have to keep trying for something that will work for us :(
@Anonymous (October 22nd 1:37 AM) - It did absolutely nothing for you? Wow. I've heard of it being relatively ineffective on some women, but not completely worthless. I'm sorry to hear this didn't work at all for you. Hopefully you can find something that works a little better for your situation.
Best of luck.
-- Clint
My HOH used Capsaicin Cream HP on me today for the first time, i didn't think it would hurt, bcuz he's tried icy hot before and it did nothing, i was wrong. He put it all over my butt and thighs, at first it tingled a little, but about 10 minutes into it, it intensified, its been 30 minutes now and it is still horribly burning, and my HOH is not allowing me to move off of a hard chair for an hour. This is worse then a punishment spanking...
@Anonymous - It's crazy to see the wide range of how the cream affects different people. "All over my butt and thighs" sounds like a lot. Hopefully I've stressed the importance of being careful with this cream enough on the post and in the comments. It's potent, as it sounds like you've experienced. If it isn't something you feel will be effective in your marriage, then I would encourage you to discuss it with your husband and decide what's best for you both.
Good luck!
-- Clint
Yeah, it was horrible. I took a shower later last night, and it felt worse then before, i tried everything to ease to pain, but everything made it feel worse. I think we used to much
What other options can you use if your wife has alot of diffrent allergic reactions to meds... so the Caspin cream is not an option for us ... is there any other methods we can try..
"Anonymous said...
Yeah, it was horrible. I took a shower later last night, and it felt worse then before, i tried everything to ease to pain, but everything made it feel worse. I think we used to much"
That's because water doesn't wash it off but regenerates the effect and you have to use baby or olive oil to remove it.
@Anonymous (October 27th 7:19 PM) - I'm terribly sorry to hear about your experience with the cream. I certainly hope you have recovered from it and are doing okay. It sounds like you did you too much, unfortunately. Only a very small amount is needed to get the desired effect. As I'm sure you will, just keep that in mind if you and your spouse choose to continue with using the cream in the future.
@Anonymous (October 28th 6:42 AM) - I'm sorry to hear the cream wouldn't work for your marriage. I'm not comfortable recommending any other forms of silent spankings other than the ones included in the post. Sorry I'm not of more help to you in this particular situation. I wish you all the luck in finding what will work best in your marriage.
@swl1 - Thank you so much for offering your advice to the previous commenter. Other opinions and ideas are always appreciated.
-- Clint
I have a very low pain tolerance, so spankings are particularly difficult for me, especially when the belt is used. Even the cane (lightly used once with only a few strokes), was extremely hard for me to get through. No experience yet with the paddle or hairbrush.
Do you think it's possible that the Capsaicin Cream could help increase my pain tolerance level for real spankings? Thanks for the advice.
@Anonymous (November 5th 5:55 PM) - Tolerance to anything is developed through repetition, whether it be pain tolerance or otherwise. I wouldn't recommend using the cream to increase tolerance to actual spankings since all that will do is help build tolerance to the CREAM and not the spankings themselves. I hope that makes sense.
With that said, it's okay to have a low pain tolerance. Your significant other should adjust the way they spank you in a way that works best for you both. Some couples achieve the desired results after 20 strikes during a spanking, and some couples have to spank upwards of 60+ times to get the results they're looking for. It's different for every marriage, and pain tolerance is different for every person. But, getting back to the root of your question, it's spanking repetition over time that will help you develop a tolerance to the pain from it.
I'm making an assumption here, and please forgive me if I'm incorrect in my assumption, but I get the impression you're relatively new to DD. If you are relatively new, I would recommend against using a cane until you're a bit more experienced with spanking and DD in general. The cane is an intense implement, much more intense that either a hairbrush or paddle, and can deter couples from continuing on with DD if used from the start. The cane is more for experienced couples due to the intensity of it. Again, I apologize if my assumption is incorrect, I just felt compelled to include this paragraph within my answer.
Best of luck to you.
-- Clint
Hi Clint,
You are not incorrect in your assumption. It is a relatively new lifestyle for us and we are still finding our way thru it. I see I may have misled you in my comments. The cane wasn't actually used for punishment. He was testing the waters and also giving me a feel for what that implement is like. He did not dive right in. He knows my pain threshold is low and has never taken advantage of that.
Our living situation has changed since we moved across the country (GA back to CO). We do not have the same level of privacy anymore. On top of that my mother lives with us and we have a young child.
So my husband has definitely let things slide and not enforced certain rules in the interest of keeping our lifestyle private. So no, I am not spanked on a regular basis and therefore, I guess I haven't built up the tolerance for it.
Ok, so the cream is not a good idea for building up tolerance. Sounds like my husband has to enforce more rules in an effort to help me with my problem. That does sound funny.
As always, thanks for chatting :)
@Anonymous (November 6th 9:07 AM) - The dreaded live in mother-in-law situation. That's not an easy one to work around all while trying to keep this aspect of your marriage private. It sounds like consistency from your husband would definitely help, but your situation clearly makes it difficult for you both. Hopefully you two can work around it and get things where you want them to be.
Good luck!
-- Clint
You can't get creams like that in the UK, if anyone can think of a substitute, you can get, please don't tell my husband. One thing he has used while we were out, which you might not approve of, is Tiger Balm which he put around the entrance to my anus (not inside!). It burnt like hell and it just keeps getting hotter. It sure reminded me of the spanking I was going to get when I got home as we finished our meal at the restaurant. I have been good since when we have been out for the last six months but he still carries a small jar in his pocket when we go out.
@Sue - Tiger Balm certainly sounds painful, particularly on that very sensitive area of the body. While I wouldn't recommend couples do this, I'm glad you and your husband have found something that works for you both. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and best of luck to you in the future.
-- Clint
My husband put this cream on my butt this morning at 10am. It is now 7:30pm and I'm still on fire. When will it stop? It seemed a little better but after I went to the gym the burning came back. I learned my lesson but the burning won't end. Rubbing makes it worse.
@Anonymous (November 29th 4:29 PM) - Olive oil typically neutralizes the cream. I'd recommend giving that a try, with your husband's approval of course. I'm not trying to get you punished again. Don't use water. Water will make it worse as well.
Good luck to you.
-- Clint
Well I attempted to take your advice but unfortunately I did not have my husbands approval. He found out and I have been punished. After a lengthy spanking with his strap he placed more of the cream on my sit spot. Then he placed me on the heating pad. I'm now in bedroom time but he has allowed me to post this so that you know I took your advice without his permission. I am new to DD and have had a hard time obeying. I'm just not used to this. But slowly I am learning to obey. This lesson from tonight has taught me to seek approval from my husband prior to making decisions that undermine his authority and punishments. Plus my very sore bottom will continue to remind me of my mistakes for the next few hours. And he has already told me that I will be spanked again tomorrow for my attempt to seek advice on how to lessen the pain of the cream. Apparently tonight's punishment was just for disrespect. Will this DD get easier with time?
The only thing (besides time) that will stop the sting is vegetable oil - but you might not want to advertise it...
@Anonymous (November 29th 8:03 PM) - As I'm sure you know now, it's obviously very important to get your husbands approval on something like this. I'm sorry to hear you were punished again, but hopefully you understand why you were punished again, hopefully you have learned from it, and can now make a better decision the next time you're presented with a similar situation.
I wouldn't necessarily say DD gets "easier" with time, but as time goes on you'll become more and more familiar with the rules, and more and more familiar with what will and will not get you punished. That's part of the growth process within this lifestyle. Every beginner couple goes through an adjustment period at first. Just as with anything new, it takes some getting used to. Whether you realize it or not, you're pushing the limits to see where your boundaries are, and that's perfectly normal and common. As long as your husband remains consistent, those boundaries will be very clear to you after the first few months. Hang in there. Hopefully you're seeing the benefits of this lifestyle and continue to practice it. It'll get "easier" (if that's what you want to call it) as those boundaries become more and more defined.
Good luck to you.
@Anonymous (November 30th 9:07 AM) - Thank you for your comment. I'm happy to "advertise" it since vegetable oil will indeed help. Readers can make their own judgment calls on whether or not to take the advice here, or anywhere else on the blog. It's important to me that readers share their thoughts/knowledge on these topics so readers can have all information possible. Again, thank you for sharing and all the best to you.
-- Clint
Clint -
Believe me lesson learned about asking permission. Did not occur to me that I would get caught. Im having a really hard time with the rules. I am not used to having to answer to anyone. This is a major change. My husband is beyond consistent... its like he has eyes in the back of his head. It has been a really rough few days in my home. I can't sit... I feel horrible for disappointing my husband... and I keep making mistake after mistake. I guess you could say Im testing the boundaries and trying to figure out what is okay and what is not okay. thanks for the advice.
-Sarah
@Sarah - My pleasure. Good luck.
-- Clint
My husband and I were traveling to my sister's house over last Christmas. I acted up while we were there. Upstairs we went and into the room. Very thin doors and walls. I stripped, put myself over the bed, spread my legs, and burried my face in a pillow.
My husband took my cell-phone charger out of the wall, looped over the coord and used that on my naked bottom. Talk about effective. There was a slight whistling as it went through the air but no other sound. It immediately got my attention. Did not leave welts so did not ruin my trip. Can be used daily or multiple times daily as needed to effect good behavior.
m
@m - Thank you for sharing your experience and giving readers another implement to consider in their DD practices.
All the best to you, and happy holidays!
-- Clint
My husband has tried both of these on me in the past, but they didn't work. I just didn't find them painful at all. I tried to pretend one time that it was painful but, yeah...he didn't buy it.
We were at his family's house for dinner and I refused to eat because I didn't like the food. I was taken out to the car given a hard smack on each of my butt cheeks and the cream was applied. When we got home an hour later my behind was still stinging. I put his favorite spanking tool his spatula under the bed thinking he would see it and punish me more. He noticed it was gone and I got a set of spankings even though I was still in pain from the previous punishment is this fair?
@Anonymous (December 31st 3:49 AM) - This cream doesn't work for everyone, obviously. I commend you both for giving it a try, but sometimes couples have to find something else if there are no results from the application of the cream. Good luck to you.
@Anonymous (January 3rd 3:40 AM) - Well it's hard for me to answer this question since I'm only hearing one side of the story. On the surface I feel a silent spanking for not eating is a bit excessive/unnecessary, however if there was any attitude about it, or back talking, or any other kind of disrespect involved, OR if you're unhealthy in some fashion from not eating, then I can understand the punishment. The most honest answer I can give you is that it's hard for me to say. Regardless of my opinion, your husband was unhappy with your behavior and decided to take action, which is completely his choice.
As for the spatula aspect of this - yes, I feel it's fair that he spanked for something like that. I certainly wouldn't be very happy if my wife hid the implement and she'd have the same fate. I feel the punishment was fair in that instance. So, since you asked, that's my opinion on this particular situation.
I hope this helps. All the best to you.
-- Clint
is Capsacian like Aspercream?
Is it ok if my husband spanks me after using the cream? What I mean is if we are out and he uses the cream on me then we are home and I do something more or he thinks I need more is it ok to then receive a traditional spanking even if it's only been a shor time since the cream was applied?
Can we use this cream while I'm pregnant?
@Anonymous (January 7th 4:21 PM) - It would be ok to do so, yes, but I'd recommend he wait until you're fully recovered from the cream, if possible. If used properly, the sting from the cream should be gone after a few hours, so he shouldn't have to wait TOO long. Ideally it's best to wait until one is fully recovered from a spanking, silent or otherwise, to conduct another spanking.
Good luck, and all the best to you going forward.
@Anonymous (January 9th 6:28 AM) - I would recommend against using the cream while pregnant. Ingredients from the cream could enter your blood stream and effect the fetus. I am not a doctor, however, so in pregnancy situations it's always best to consult your doctor first before applying the cream.
All the best to you and your family, and congratulations on the pregnancy!
-- Clint
How do you reccomend APPLYING the cream. If it only takes a few minutes to work and nothing can really wash it off, wouldnt it burn your hand??
My wife handles the discipline in our home when she thinks my attitude needs adjustment. She found this information interesting; guess that does not bode well for me.
@Anonymous (January 13th 6:39 PM) - When applying the cream, I recommend it be done with the fingertips of the hand, and massaged in similarly to the way one would massage lotion into one's skin.
In my experience, immediately wiping the cream off the fingertips with some kind of cloth, or paper towel, tissue, etc., then thoroughly washing the hands with soap and water will not lead to a burning sensation in the fingertips. I've yet to encounter any couple that has had a problem with the hands/fingers burning after going through this process.
Hope this helps! Good luck.
@Anonymous (January 19th 6:38 PM) - It may not bode well in the short term, but in the long term application of the cream should yield positive results. Everything will be ok. :)
All the best to you both.
-- Clint
Re: posting on January 13, 2012 6:39 PM:
Thanks,
After reading more my wife does indeed intend to try the Capsaicin cream (on me) at some point; I doubt if there will be any allergic reaction but we will go easy. As far as positive results, I think my wife might be close already as shes been disciplining me for a bit over 10 years and likes how I've improved, but she says I'm still a work in progress.
my husband is away but i earned a spanking, he said o should use the cream on myself. i want to do this properly, but im really scared...do you have any tips for me? what is the best way to do it?
-becks
@Anonymous (January 20th 5:39 PM) - Improvement, no matter how big or small that improvement is, is always a good thing. Kudos to you for improving, and there's no doubt in my mind things will continue to get better for you both as time goes on.
Good luck to you, and keep up the good work!
@becks - I'd start with a very small amount of cream and work it into your skin as you would lotion. Give it 30-45 minutes or so, and if you do not experience any discomfort from it, apply a little more. Just be careful with it. I know you're nervous, but if you approach this cautiously you'll be fine. Once applied, quickly wipe off the excess cream left on your fingertips with a wash rag or a paper towel. There isn't much more to it than that. You can do it. :)
Good luck to you.
-- Clint
So me and my wife are just starting off with this whole DD thing, and have read your entire blog (comments included) in the past two days. Saw this post yesterday and we were wondering how well it worked so while out running errands today we picked up a bottle to try it out. Now not as a punishment but to see how well it worked I told her that if she let me apply some to her she could do the same to me, so we both would know how it felt. Well we both used the tiniest amount on each other and both felt nothing. Feeling discouraged we decided to use a little more, this time slightly more than you suggested. Well I have to go to work in about 7 hours and me and my wife both can't sleep now. I would say that this is would be/is a great deterrent. now to stand up because it hurts to sit.
I tried the cream on my wife this morning. It doesn't seem to do anything for her. Have you tried alternative formulas, such as those with Methyl Salicylate (aka Wintergreen oil)?
So I administered my first silent spanking this evening just before she went to see a movie with her mom. She was "on fire" the entire time and ask if she could wipe
It off to which I text back "no!" I found out that no more than I had said no she was proceeding to try to wipe it off. She doesn't know it but as soon as she gets home there will be a reapplication just before bedtime.
@Anonymous (January 29th 8:58 PM) - Thank you for sharing your experience. Different amounts of the cream have a different effect on people. I commend you for going through a trial and error approach with the cream to find what will work best for you both. Thank you for your comment.
@Anonymous (January 30th 6:46 PM) - I have not. Personally I stick to the Capsaicin Cream or BenGay. Both work for us. I'd love to hear if alternatives are as effective. If you choose to try others, please share your results. I'd love to hear them.
@Anonymous (February 17th 6:54 PM) - I'm glad the cream was effective for you, and I wish you luck with the second application. Thank you for your comment!
All the best to you all!
-- Clint
What about Tiger Balm? Do you think it would have the same effect?
@Anonymous (February 23rd 7:37 PM) - To be honest with you, I'm not familiar with Tiger Balm so I don't feel comfortable recommending it be used. I've read about it and it sounds similar to the Capsaicin Cream, however I don't know enough about it to offer much more of an opinion than that. If you and your spouse agree to try it, I'd love for you to comment again with your experience with it.
Sorry I'm not more help. All the best to you.
-- Clint
We did a comparison tonight with the Tiger Balm and Capsaicin Cream and find they work almost exactly the same with the Tiger Balm being slightly more intense. Thank you for your reccomendation!
@Anonymous (February 24th 4:29 PM) - Great! Thank you for sharing the information. You've helped me learn something new, and I really appreciate it.
Best of luck to you going forward.
-- Clint
Clint,
I'm not telling my husband, but the cream actually does not effect me (it does not sting LOL). My husband wanted to punish me for talking back to him in the car and then not using my seatbelt until he had to ask me 4 times. So, he pulled the car over and took out the cream to "teach me a lesson". Well, little did he know, that it doesn't sting at all. I pretended that it did so it would think I was punished and learned my lesson LOL. I hope he doesn't find out but I think I got him this time. He said he would not spank me since I received the silent spanking. Thank goodness! If he did find that I was playing him, he would be very upset and would probably give me a severe spanking and grounding. I do not wish to tell him but am starting to feel a little guilty. Should I say anything or let it go and tell him the next time? I guess I'm a little afraid of how he would react. Would you be furious if your wife did that? I'm glad it didn't hurt and would like to leave it at that this one time.
Tara
@Tara - Yes, I would tell him if you want anything to improve in your marriage. He gave you a silent spanking to protect you, not for fun and games. You weren't wearing your seatbelt and were not listening to his repeated requests to put it on, thus putting your life in danger. He clearly cares about you if he was so adamant about you putting your seatbelt on. He cared enough about you to "silent spank" you in an effort to protect you. If it didn't work, I'd definitely tell him it didn't. Otherwise nothing will get corrected, you'll go on without wearing your seatbelt, and it could cost you your life one day. I see you find it a bit humorous, but I have to admit - I don't see the humor in that.
I wouldn't be furious, but I'd be extremely disappointed if my wife handled this in the manner you have. I mean no disrespect to you by any means, but since you asked, that's how I would feel. I'd be more disappointed that she wasn't understanding how important this was to me and us as a family than disappointed with her withholding the "the silent spanking didn't work" information from me. But, my wife and I take this lifestyle very seriously. Some make a mockery of it and consider it fun and games. That choice is made by you and your husband as a couple.
Best of luck to you, Tara.
-- Clint
Clint,
I took your advice and he didn't respond as well as you would have. He was quite furious and decided to give me an advanced level spanking and grounded me for a week! The spanking happened earlier today. I was kicking myself a little for having told him but at the same time the guilt has gone away from lying about the silent spanking cream. the spanking was much more severe and strong than any prevous spankings I've received. I think he was trying to send a message which came through loud and clear. I can not sit (and probably won't be able to do for a few days) without being reminded of the spanking but understand why he did that. I guess I'm a bit upset that I'm grounded for a week as well. I thought coming clean would get him to reward me in some way but he hasn't let up at all. He's also thrown out the cream and told me that he would just administer a real spanking even when we are traveling (since the cream was not effective). What do you think? I guess overall you were right but would like your thoughts.
Tara
@Tara - The most important thing is that you did come clean about things with your husband, and I commend you for doing so. It's never easy to do something like that, but I hope you take solace in the fact that it was the right thing to do. It probably feels pretty good to get the guilt off of your mind as well. Great job.
It sounds like he did not handle it as I would have, or perhaps other HoH's would have. That isn't to say the way he handled it was incorrect by any means - he simply punished in a manner he felt was best for you both. I wouldn't count out a possible reward just yet, either. Perhaps if you handle the grounding well, he'll shorten the length of it by a day or two. You never know and of course I have no idea if he will or not, but you can always remain optimistic about something like that. I will say, however, that handling it well is always the best way to go.
My intent was not to get you spanked or grounded. I hope you understand that. My intent was to help you realize how important it is to always be honest with your spouse, even when coming clean about something is difficult to do. I think you'll find this entire situation is in the best interest of your marriage long term.
Best of luck to you going forward, and I hope you get feeling better soon. Hang in there.
-- Clint
I think you're right Clint. Thanks for the advice. He is slowly lightening up a little lol as he has been very stern since the time I told him about all of this. At least he has talked more this evening and joked a little too. My bottom is still sore but understand that it was for the better. As for the grounding, I am upset as I wanted to enjoy the nice weather outside after work (go shopping and have dinner and walk with a group of friends) but I can't go now that I got grounded. I will try to handle it well so that he might give me a break. I wanted to ask you another question. Is it normal for HOHs to require that they be called "sir" during punishment periods? He has that requirement which he started 2 months ago as his friends also have that samem requirement. What is the purpose of that? Is it normal and do you require that? Tara
@Tara - It's hard to say whether or not an HoH requiring his wife to say "sir" when addressing him is normal or not since every HoH is different, however I will say that it's a rather common thing. In my experience, more men require the use of "sir" when addressed in discipline situations than men that don't.
The overall purpose of "sir" is to convey the message to your husband that you are in fact listening to him, and are respecting him and what he has to say. In a discipline situation, your husband wants to make sure you're completely understanding the situation, completely understanding the mistake that was made, the punishment forthcoming, etc., and the best way for him to ensure that is to require "sir" when you address him. And, as I said, it's a respect thing as well.
Do I personally require my wife to use "sir" when she addresses me? No, I don't. To be perfectly honest it makes me feel old. Lol. So I do not require it of my wife for that reason.
I hope that answered your questions Tara. Good luck to you!
-- Clint
Thanks Clint. I feel better about it now. He never let up on my grounding even after I was on 100% good behavior. He thinks it is important never to let up on any punishment - once he imposes it, it will stick to the end. I can finally go out again and enjoy the nice weather we are having. I know that I will be on my best behavior since he has been more strict lately. I don't want to get another spanking (I'm no longer sore which is wonderful) or grounding!! I appreciate your advice again. He doesn't know about this sight so I'm glad I have someone to talk to about it.
Tara
@Tara - It was my pleasure, Tara. Sometimes individual lessons are hard ones to learn, but it sounds like you did a great job with this one. I commend you for handling it so well.
Let me know if there is anything else I can help with. I'm happy to help where I can.
All the best to you, Tara.
-- Clint
We currently have relatives staying with us and were looking for a way to address an inappropriate behavior. I found this link yesterday and suggested it to my husband. All I can say is wow! very effective stuff. It gave me the intense burning and itchy feeling I usually experience after a spanking for hours. I had to sleep with my bottom exposed to the air for any relief. Every time I thought it had worn off I would roll onto my back and the intense heat would return. This has certainly changed my attitude and has made me more conscious of my behavior. It is not something I am eager to have repeated. -GRP
Has anyone tried the heading pad method?
Clint
I wanted to thank you for this advice (but i also sort of wish my bf and i hadn't found it). We started our dd relationship while he was away on business he has been gone for two weeks and has about another 2 weeks to go. Since i brought up the idea of a dd relationship ohmic have endured 1 self spankin and 3 silent spankings.... it seems it is hard for me to stay out of trouble. He told me after my first silent spanking i would be required to go buy the cream because i wasbt able to properly discipline myself. I was actually slightly fearful of the cream and rightfully so. The first night i used it i had just gotten out of the shower and my bf and i got our communication mixed up and i put twice the ammount on than he expected. It was horrible, even worse was that i was on vacation with my parents who have no idea we started a dd relationship. So during my first discipline i had to act completly fine. The burn lasted forever it felt like, it hurt to move, it hurt not to move, basically it just plain hurt. I finally fell asleep and woke up around four in the morning thankful that my bottom had stopped burning but then i rolled over and it all started
Again. The burning stayed with me for about 2 days or so off and on. I'm forced to assume there must have been some on my panties because after showering (which also made it burn all over again) and changing my clothes the burning seemed to go away! Finally!
Anyhow i have made the same offense four times causing 3 silent spankings so i wasnt surprised when he upped the punishment to this: shower, cream, shower 5 minutes, cream again.... and that happened tonighr before coming to work . ( he did change his mind when he remembered i had to work tonight and told me to just do a cream than shower but i continued with his first discipline and regret doing so) this method causes not only the prolonged burn but also an exteemly short intense burn that makes your bum burn so bad you don't even want to wear underwear or sit down. The only thing that dulls the pain is sitting on something cold.
Sorry for any grammatical errors I'm on my phone and it won't let me scroll back up and check them.
I just wanted to thank you again for this discipline that i will hopefully learn from prior to his return home.
Much appreciated
Redhiney
@GRP - It is a powerful cream indeed. It certainly needs to be used with caution. While I understand it was an unpleasant experience for you temporarily, I hope you see the long term benefit of the "spanking." It sounds like it had a positive effect on you in the long run.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience.
@Anonymous (April 11th 12:24) - I'd be curious to know that as well. Anyone?
@redhiney - I appreciate you taking the time to share your experience, particularly when typing on a phone! That's great.
I think you know this already, but it sounds like you used far too much cream the first time. You have to be careful with it as it can get rather intense, as you've experienced. The good news is you now know how much to properly apply so this isn't an issue in the future.
I'm glad this has been an effective discipline for you and your boyfriend. You're welcome for the advice, and I wish you nothing but the best going forward. Good luck!
-- Clint
Clint,
Great site, enjoy many aspects. However, as a medical proffessional, I was shocked to see this part of your site. Please remove the "heating pad" suggestion. While me and my HOH practice DD, I believe from everything you have written that you want only to discipline and not to injure/abuse. As a doctor (and btw, not a child who is likely to "act out" in public), I do not approve of our condone this method. I also feel that the suggestion is unneccessary since if there is time to sit on a pad for this length of time, there should be time to spank. There is a reason heating pads have warning labels on them. While as a doctor, I wouldn't recommened intentionally getting swatted either, its unlikely to cause permamenent damage if done correctly. However, the reason the heating pad stings is IT IS BURNING YOUR MUSCLE TISSUE. Even if done only mildly, it can cause nerve damage and blistering. If done repeatedly, the injury can be exacerbated. I assume you wouldn't have your wife put her hand on a hot pan to discipline her, so please do not reccommend to others to engage in a behavior that can be so dangerous. Also, please include the suggestion that capsaicin cream should be used carefulyl and rarely. When placed on mucus membranes or anything open or sensitive, again, long term injury can occur.
Just wanted to say that my loving husband has found this site extremely useful. With two children in the house, we have never been able to come up with anything silent that was remotely similar to a spanking but the Capsaicin cream is truly amazing. My skin did not turn red but it burned so bad, I sobbed for hours. I tried to wash it off - bad idea! Finally, after 10 years of trying to have an S&M relationship, he finally has my respect and cooperation. Thank you xxx
@Anonymous (May 20th 4:59 PM) - Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoy the site. I appreciate you reading and sharing your thoughts on this blog post. You're absolutely right - there is no intent whatsoever to injure or abuse from anything mentioned on LDD, and I thank you for giving your medical advice for readers to consider and helping to convey that intent.
Your comment is public, which allows all readers to see it. I'm sure they, along with myself, will take your medical warnings into consideration when engaging in the punishment process. Thank you so much for your time and thoughts on the matter, and thank you for all you do as a doctor.
All the best to you.
@Anonymous (May 23rd 8:01 AM) - Wonderful! I'm so glad to hear this post was beneficial to your marriage. That's what it's all about. Thank you for sharing your experience.
All the best to you.
-- Clint
Hmmm we are going on vacation in a week And just talk about how he would handle this. Not that I have any plans to upset him! But reading y'all blogs I feel like its an option will let u know but hope not Soon :)
Hubby found a capsaicin product that has an "easy use" applicator with a little roller so it doesn't have to be put on his hand first. We were looking for options so that I have a reminder of a spanking for a while afterwards without the spanking having to get longer/harder where it might leave bruises or marks.
He put some on my butt today after a spanking for disobedience and rubbed it around the fleshy area of the butt with a cloth. It didn't hurt much more initially..maybe because it was masked by the pain of the spanking. About an hour after, i took a hot shower...and wow! The hot water must have activated it because now my butt cheeks are red and burning intensely where the capsaicin was applied. It stings more intensely than any spanking I've ever gotten.
Sadly for me, it looks like this little tool is going to stay in hubby's "bag o tricks".
I've done some reading on capsaicin cream, and the medical experts seem to agree that the severe burning sensation diminishes over time; however, this is under the premise of treating an area 3-4 times a day daily, due to the reduction of a chemical that transmits pain sensation.
For most couples, silent spanking wouldn't approach that kind of frequency, but I do have to ask -- has anyone seen this kind of a side effect?
Would you recommend holding and comforting your wife as you would a real spanking? My husband used this today for the first time while we were at dinner with friends and I cried a bit :3 I'm sort of a baby when it comes to any sort of spanking. Anyway, he said he felt horrible and even though he refused to take it off much to my dismay because I had to "learn my lesson," (I am prone to backtalk) he held me just like I love him to do the second we got home. He was wondering if this is helpful or not. Please say it is?! Awaiting your answer. :)
-Danielle
@sar8229 - Enjoy your vacation! Hopefully the Capsaicin Cream doesn't have to come into play while you're out enjoying yourselves. Good luck!
@Anonymous (May 28th 8:04 PM) - It can take some time for the cream to take effect, but when it starts working you certainly learn how potent it can be. No question it's powerful stuff.
Good luck to you!
@Anonymous (May 29th 12:55 PM) - I'm curious about that as well. I've yet to hear of that side effect happening with a couple, but that isn't to say it doesn't happen to some. Quite honestly I don't know. It'll be interesting to see if anyone responds to your question. Thank you for taking the time to comment.
All the best to you.
@Danielle - Yes I do recommend the entire comforting process of a traditional spanking be a part of a silent spanking as well. It can take some time for the cream to start taking effect (30-60 minutes, generally), but when it does "kick in", it's best for the husband to comfort his wife at that point just as he would under a normal spanking circumstance. There's still a beneficial emotional bonding experience to be had there when the wife is crying, no doubt about it.
In my opinion your husband handled the situation well and I certainly hope the silent spanking helped address whatever issue it was that you were addressing.
I hope this helps and makes you both feel a little better about things. From the sound of it, you both did a great job with the whole thing. :)
All the best.
-- Clint
My husband used the cream on me because I was disrespecting,back talking and ignoring him and after he rubbed on the cream I had to stand in the corner for 30 minutes naked and my butt was on fire then he spanked me 50 times and he told me I will get spanked every day for a whole month yikes! I sure learned my lesson
Hi Clint
Wondering if you have any advice as to whether the cream is safe to use in the crack area between the butt cheeks. My husband has become a fan of the cream as I bruise easily and he prefers not to spank when I am marked.....but as punishment he has suggested using the cream in the crack where it might be a more powerful motivator. Im concerend that on thinner skin it could potentially be dangerous?
@Anonymous (June 16th 10:59 PM) - Good grief, your punishment sounds ridiculously excessive in my opinion, but I suppose that was your husband's choice. I certainly hope you're doing okay.
@Karyn - I'm not a doctor so I can't give you the answer you're probably looking for, which would be medical concerns, but I can certainly offer my recommendation/opinion.
I would recommend against using the cream on such a sensitive area of the body. I don't see why it would be necessary if it is effective when applied to the "normal" areas of the buttocks. No need to fix what isn't broken.
Also, the bruising is a bit concerning. Spanking shouldn't be leading to any kind of significant bruising. I hope your doing okay and consent to the way punishments are carried out in your marriage.
All the best to you.
-- Clint
Hi Clint,
We tried this today and when the cream was first applied it did not do anything. I didn't feel anything at all. So he tried adding some more and the same. We waited a good half hour too.. And then he decided to add some water to see if that would work and OUCH. It literally feels like someone lit a fire on my bottom. I never want to see that cream again!
-Mary
@Mary - It works differently for every couple, but it certainly packs an intense sting when it's activated. Use the cream with caution.
Thanks for sharing your story. Feel better soon.
-- Clint
shoule I wear gloves when applying the cream to my wife's butt? Would it burn my hands?
@Anonymous (July 24th 12:33 PM) - Gloves certainly wouldn't hurt anything when applying the cream to the buttocks, but thoroughly wiping the excess cream off of your fingers with a damp cloth (or something similar) typically keeps the hand/fingers from suffering any kind of sting from the cream.
I hope this helps. Good luck, and all the best to you.
-- Clint
Well, I was given this punishment today because we had company, I am certain to get a punishment spanking this evening after the kids go to bed. Although, not really painful IMO, it was certainly useful to keep me reminded of my upcoming punishment. :-( We are new to this, but my husband is proving to be consistant so far. I think it is going to be beneficial, I already feel closer to him. :-)
So anon from previous post here. I did get a punishment spanking tonight and am feeling the heat. I was finally able to cry, probably due to my guilt more than anything. The silent spanking from earlier had worn off thankfully. Tonight's punishment was a little more severe than any I have had before, although much deserved. The silent spanking definately served a purpose. I have been assured that it will be used again:-( I have to say I prefer this option to running a risk of someone witnessing me getting swats... I enjoy your kind, level headed approach to this.. I have been sharing your insights with my husband, we have already learned a lot from both yours and your wife's blog. Thank you.
Ok re-thinking the silent spanking!!!! It is all about how it is applied. The first time, he had me go put some on. Needless to say, I did not rub it in for long. Today, he applied it with lots of rubbing (friction). It is much more intense. Unfortunately, this means another punishment spanking tonight, and although, new to this he is getting quite proficient:-) I guess I need to learn more quickly...
Well, I thought the cream had worn off, but I am sorry to say that this many hours later, the spanking I got reinvigorated the cream. Not looking forward to the next time, that is for sure!!!
@Anonymous (August 6th 2:37 PM)/Bad-Cat - Silent spankings, and spankings in general, certainly aren't pleasant, however they do help to overcome problems/disagreements in a marriage peacefully and constructively. And, as you've shared in your comment, they bring a couple much closer together emotionally as well. I'm happy to hear you had a good overall experience (even if you had to endure some temporary pain along the way). Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
-- Clint
My husband had me use the capsacaicin on my bottom for the first time today. I just starting preparing for the CPA exam and have had some difficulty keeping motivation. He had to go back into work, so I had to put it on. It's been less than 30 minutes and my bottom already feels like it's on fire! Well I'm going to go study now, so that I can learn and also avoid a painful spanking later on.
Will,
On this subject, since a number of comments have mentioned the complications of having children in the house as a prime reason for silent, or at least quiet discipline, I'd like to suggest using relatively quiet spanking implements, rather than some crazy heat rub cream!
From my pov, If a spanking has to be carried out while the children are home (especially late at night), I would use a heavy wooden spoon to carry out the task. A large, heavy wooden spoon has much the same effect as the back of a heavy wooden hairbrush (it can cause bruising, but my wife has actually requested it many times) but because the spoon is rounded, it doesn't make that smacking sound that carries through the whole house if moderate force is applied.
And a few years ago, I was informed about an interesting discipline item called a Loopy John, which you may already be aware, most women hate it because it stings so bad! My wife doesn't like me using it either, which is a shame because it is very quiet and apparently quite effective!
These methods may not be as silent as capsaisin cream, but I personally don't think that children have to be completely kept in the dark on this subject. And children are a lot more perceptive than parents realize. I'm willing to bet that the children of most DD couples are aware of it, but like other things that mommy and daddy do in the bedroom, they choose to ignore it and not want to know about it. Our eldest daughter never mentioned anything on the subject of domestic discipline until she was about to get married last year. It was something she had already talked about with her fiancee and wanted to know if we felt it should be part of her marriage also.
@Will - You offer a solid suggestion of using quiet implements rather than the Capsaicin cream. A traditional spanking should always be conducted where possible.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Will. All the best to you.
-- Clint
sitting here with my bum on FIRE!!! ugh, not happy about this suggestion, but I don't think i'll be disrespectful anymore...
@monkeyluvdani - Silent spankings are not pleasant to go experience, but they're certainly effective for most couples.
Feel better soon. All the best to you.
-- Clint
I'm all for traditional spankings after experiencing my first capsaicin 'spanking' three weeks ago. We were visiting relatives for the weekend and I was late picking up my husband from work. He decided this was the ideal opportunity to introduce me to the cream. We stopped in a lay-by and it was a simple matter for me to kneel on the back seat with my bottom bared for my husband to apply the cream. Although cars went past none would have been able to see what was happening and after two or three minutes we were able to continue our journey. I couldn't believe how quickly the cream took effect. It was almost instantaneous and the stinging pain was worse than anything I had experienced before. The two-hour journey was horrendous and I was still very sore when we went to bed two hours later. I have never complained about ordinary spankings or even the cane but capsaicin is definitely something different!
Jan
I just used the silent spanking just about 5 minutes ago and used to much but it really feels like i just got a hard spanking. I live alone with no one to u spank me so i will be using it again thank u for the info. Bobby
@Jan - I apologize for the late response - I took a little time from blogging. Anyway, you're absolutely right - the cream can pack quite the punch! I hope it was beneficial for you in the long run, and I thank you for sharing your experience. All the best to you.
@Bobby - You're welcome for the info. I'm glad the cream is helpful to you. All the best.
-- Clint
My Hoh had an issue with his knee and used this on it. Many hours after applying it, he apologized to me for using it on me and said he would not use it again. He found it very intense. :-)
@Cathy - It certainly is intense. It's not for every marriage. I can tell by the smiley face in your comment that you don't mind it not being a part of yours. :)
All the best to you.
-- Clint
Any tips on making the heating pad option more intense? My wife is allergic to the cream. I tried doing a warm-up spanking first, then 10 minutes on a heating pad. It did nothing. Any tips?
@Anonymous (November 11th 5:36 PM) - I'm not comfortable recommending anyone intensify the heating pad option any more than what is outlined in the post. If it isn't effective for you, I would suggest finding an alternate way of punishing that works best for you both. It's important to keep in mind that spanking isn't the only punishment option in a domestic discipline marriage. There are upwards of 10 or so other punishments you could consider.
I hope you find a punishment alternative that proves to be effective. Best of luck to you.
-- Clint
I would recommend people use EXTREME care when using modalities such as heat and medicinal creams. I am a nurse at an interventional pain clinic and while capsaiscin cream is OTC, people need to be aware of allergies and over-medicating. Always always do a patch test on a small area such as the inside of your elbow and be extremely careful not to get this cream in contact with her genital area, as this could cause all kinds of problems.
I'm in a DD marriage myself and I have to say, VERY creative use for the cream!! lol... just be careful y'all
I do have to say that, from discussions I have had with various different people, I have gathered that the effect of this cream is by no mean guaranteed and can vary enormously from seriously blistering the skin, which can happen if you are unfortunate enough to have an allergy to the hot pepper that forms its base, to not having any effect at all. I tried it for the first time a couple of months ago and found myself to be in the latter category. I got a pleasantly warm glow that faded in an hour and it wasn't "intense" or remotely painful at all. Nor did my shower the next morning reactivate it. The only thing that hurt was when some found its way into my eye which, like contact with any mucous membrane, is apparently quite dangerous and can lead to sores and infection. Pretty difficult to explain in the ER I would imagine, so it's very much a case of patch test before taking risks and handle with great care.
Ros
My husband found this and didn't tell me. He told me it was just oil. Now I can't sit down today and my butt is on fire.
My husband is overseas & found it about a bit of naughtiness I have been involved in. He got onto Amazon and the horrible stuff arrived yesterday. We skyped about 30 mins ago and I had to apply the gel to myself. My bottom is now very sore!! I can't wait for my hubby to come home to get back to otk! I NEVER thought I would say that.
Not sure if I should be thanking you Clint but at least I don't have to wait for Mt spanking
God bless
CC
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