Sunday, May 27, 2012

FAQs - "Reluctancy" Edition

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  We address a number of questions regularly asked about the domestic discipline lifestyle.  You can read this article on our new website by clicking here.


His First Mate said...

WOW. good timing. great post. A lot of these things have been weighing heavily on my mind lately.

Anonymous said...

Well i have to say i did my homework. I have been doing many of these things before during and after i brought DD to my husbands attention. Now we are almost there. I have a question that i will soon know the answer to im sure. I would like to know now though. We finished our rule list and will begin practice soon enough. Im playful and very funny this is one of the many reasons my husband feel in love with me. And im a little worried that the punishments will make me not so funny and playfull. Im wondering couples that are in this type of relationship ship do you play about it. Okay for example i know my time is near and i said, next week im not going to do anything on my list and my husband looked at me And couldn't help but let out a little laugh. I am taking this very serious if i wasn't i wouldn't have went to the length i have presenting DD to my husband. Im guessing after i get that spanking i have been needing i won't find anything funny about it. I definitely don't want this for play or fetish. Another reason my husband feel in love with me is because i am very strong willed and independent is that going to change. Or maybe he would like if im that way with everyone one else but him. Maybe i will just ask him about that one.

Anonymous said...

An interesting post about how to ask HOH/hubby to spank harder. I've nothing against that, if that's what's wanted. But, do men really like to be asked something in an indirect, flowery language, flattering sort of way? Re: outline at the start of the post for how to ask in a 'delicate' way.

No offence meant, but if I ask my partner something in an indirect, wordy way, he gets annoyed. He tells to to have the confidence to just ask, in a simple sentence, not a mini speech. The 'stroking ego' tactic as well sounds a teeny, weeny, little bit, manipulative. I'm sure that's not what you're advising.

Have a nice day. Chloe

Learning Domestic Discipline said...

@His First Mate - Thank you. If the post helped ease your mind in any way, I'm certainly happy to hear that. Thanks for the comment!

@Anonymous (May 27th 12:37 PM) - It seems as though you're concerned with the lifestyle changing your personality. If the lifestyle is practiced correctly, that most definitely will not happen. The idea is NOT to change the wife's personality but rather to improve her behaviors for the greater good. Unless your spouse is tyrannical (which I'm NOT saying he is), I wouldn't worry about the lifestyle changing your personality.

I hope this helps you feel better about things. All the best to you going forward.

@Chloe - Most men prefer direct communication, as apparently your particular husband does. However, it stands to reason that a wife asking the question of, "how do I tell my husband he needs to spank me harder?" feels as though she cannot approach her husband as directly as you evidently can with your husband. A wife asking this question clearly needs to take a more delicate, respectful approach for their specific marriage so her husband does not feel as though she is being confrontational in any fashion. While the direct approach may work for you and your husband, there are other marriages that do not operate the same way as yours. My answer to that question offers a respectful, non-confrontational way to approach a husband about requesting him to spank harder.

You're exactly right - that most definitely is not what I'm advising with the 'stroking ego' tactic. A person is naturally more receptive to critique when they have been appreciated/complimented with a comment ahead of time. Showing appreciation to your spouse is not going to hurt anything. No offense was taken. I appreciate your comment and I thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.

All the best to you and yours.

-- Clint

Another Anonomyous said...

Hi clint this one above really stuck a cord with me. I am such a big coward but i have a lot going on apart from grappling with this as well. I really was in a hurry at first but the more i begin to understand the more i think i am slowing down. Its that second bit while i havent spoken to my husband yet (and i have just discovered your response to me in the last post - so thank you so very very much)this second bit feels really appliciable to me or bits of it anyway - I think i have kind of being subconsciously - consciously if that makes sense trying to sort of live the lifestyle but i had been doing it without any real clear aims and this post has given me some more focus and i sort of started today and i also printed of some of the stuff you recommended to read it though and give to my husband when the time is right i don't want to leave it too long but i want to give it long enough for him to have a chance to see something different about me. I am sure you wonder why i have not said anything yet but the truth is as i said understanding is slowing me down and as well as that it makes me more scarred the more i understand. I am scarred of the submission - how would i cope i am not the most rebellious person in the world but giving over control of the correction of my big demons of bad temper and narky sarky comments would not be easy and i know that is definately something i know i would have to do. I do fear my husband not wanting this and please don't tear your hair out but i am just as scarred of him actually accepting it help help help!!! He occasionally jokes about muslims having a good philosopy and about the rule of thumb ie the husband can spank his wife with a rod - but it must not be any thicker than his thumb - i know he really is only joking about this. Anyway many thanks ps first day of trying to live is going well I said that my temper is my downfall and also i seem to waste soo much time when i should be doing more profitable or wholesome things and i constantly get side tracked iam hoping that dd could help me to live a more self disciplined and mature life.

Dave said...

my wife and i have been doing dd now for about three months. My wife had been the one to bring this to my attention and i confess at first i was reluctant but the results have been remarkable she has changed so much. She has become so much easier to live with and more compliant although we do negoiate on most things but when necessary i have mad the final decisions and she had accepted this until the begining of the week. She had a real bad mood i spotted it coming on and thought i was nipping it in the bud. I told her i was unhappy with her behaviour and i felt she need some redirection - i sent her to the corner for 15 minutes as it had not in mind merited anything more and this had proved effective in most cases. She did go but after less than 5 minutes she turned round give me a defiant look and stormed out of the kitchen. I was quite shocked and my head was reeling as she had nearly took the door of the hinges by slaming it. I knew I had a problem on my hands and I needed to act - i wasnt angry just shocked but I got up and went after her she was storming round the living room searching for something - she looked at me and shouted "where are my keys?" I told her I did not know, but felt she needed to calm down and tried to find out what was wrong. Nothing worked I then decided thats it I have had it she needs disciplined end off but I still kept calm. I took a deep breath I felt wary I was not sure what way she would react. I walked over to her and took right arm in my right hand. I firmly gripped her round the waist and directed her fimly to the bedroom - I was quite surprised she seemed to be complying. I went into a calm lecture in the way we normally would she sat and listened she did not say anything just agreed that she was really out of order and even agreed she really needed punished and corrected. I stood up and asked her to bend over the bed. She stood up and faced me defiantiantly - she began shouting and told me I could stuff dd she wasn't having it anymore. she took of out of the bedroom in a flash. That was 2 days ago I don't know what to do - what did I do wrong. How on earth do I proceed, surely I can't force a punishment but our house is like a fridge atmosphere. I do now feel hurt but I am trying to communicate calmly, but without any sucess she won't even speak to me please can someone tell me what should I do. I know I have lost control but don't know how to regain control. I feel I would have had to either restrain her for the punishment which I could do as I am stronger but feel that in the spirit that would be wrong. I have no doubt she really needs a good hard spanking and brought back into line, i also am fairly sure a spanking would work but my understanding of dd is that it should be by consent. Should I have acted fast in the bedroom,grabed her, turned her round in the bedroom and given her a couple of hard swats to try and get her cooperation. If she eventually dose comply I hardly know how much to spank and how hard - I have told her she needs discipline and that I know its hard. but that it would help. I have told her I am ready to listen but that she will be punished and I feel I should not cave in but just know how to get her to comply. I think we might have to abandon dd but I do feel that even if we do she should be punished first - I don't want to end things like this - she is very strong willed and I know what she was like before we stated dd it made such a positive contribution to our marriage she is not giving me any indication why we should stop - she just says she doesn't want too. I think she is being a real brat but how do I regain control in this situation. Hope someone can help I have never blogged before as we lead very private lives - but now I feel I need support from someone.

Anonymous said...

Hi Clint,
Thank you for your suggestions to my earlier questions. (CP, May 9) I am responding here because I think it may help someone else in my position under this posting. I had sent my husband an e-mail with a post titled "A Women's Perspective' from Chelsea's blog and "DD Strengthens me as a Women - It doesn't treat me like a child" Christina's blog, followed by my own thoughts on the guilt I associated with in both those posts. He had not finished them and his stance was “I would never.....” and when he finally finished the e-mail his attitude changed. It was softer and his stance was “I don’t think I could.....”.
The moment I found your blog I changed. I began living the lifestyle. My husband knew something was up because my whole demeanor changed and I also had withdrawn for several days trying to figure out how to approach him. When I finally did, he accepted the initial concept of DD (he still did not really understand ). I began e-mailing him and he also began to change. I have since sent him 8 e-mails with posts from many different blogs followed by my own thoughts on each one. Even though he was changing and the whole dynamic of our marriage was beginning to change, he never responded in any way to my e-mails. In the 7th e-mail I finished by expressing how frustrated I was getting by his lack of response. The next day over the phone out of the blue while discussing practical issues he said “ yes I am reading your e-mails and I am enjoying them ........alot.”
We have not gotten to the rules yet but just by both of us accepting the concept of DD there has been great change in our marriage. While he is still not sure he could ever corporally punish me, it doesn’t matter any more to me. He has committed to the process . If I am truly serious about yielding to him (yes, I like that word better than submitting too) than I need to accept that he calls the shots about what the punishments will be. As long as we keep moving forward and don’t fall back to where we were, I will be happy.
Again thank you for your blog and also to the others out there especially Chelsea, Christina, Stormy and Spanked wife in the UK. You have all helped us ease into this life style but also helped me to understand myself and why I feel that I need this.
Sorry for the novel.


Another Anonymous said...

Hi It is just about a week of trying to live a dd lifestyle its really lonely doing this on my own. It is also very difficult - I am trying to do it really I am but feel that it is a bit messed up - or maybey just becoming more aware of my failings more, more sensitive to them - its almost like a spiritual thing maybe that is a bit mad I just don't know. My temper is still a bother to me don't want to jink myself not real blow ups but quite snappy - I just would not have been that sensitive that I was doing that before I strarted reading this blog or even more since I tried to live this lifestyle. It scares me a little bit too, that with all the effort I am making, I am making so many mistakes. I thought that once I consciously started doing things with the dd thing in mind, I would change, and in some ways I have, even without the correction and direction of a HOH I am just so aware where I am going wrong. The scarry bit is if there was someone to correct me for these failings - I would be being corrected constantly and that is frightening. Beside that something strange is happening between me and my husband sometimes I am snappy or grump or just horrible and he will look at me with a stern look and say things like 'thats enough' or 'you really need to stop this now' He may have said stuff like this before -maybe I just wansnt listening, but when he says it now it is almost like someone pulling on the reins and I feel completely compelled to comply - or I think someone said in a recent post yield. The other thing that is happening to me is that if I dont yeild i feel really guilty and if I do I feel not resentful but rather a sense of peace and rightness. Am I just imagining this, going daft or can someone enlighten me. Anyway value any comments or advice from those who know and for anyone who is inclined to do so please pray that I will have guidance from above as to when to approach my husband and that in the meantime ne will see some sort of something

Anonymous said...

Hi Clint. Thank you so much for such an informative blog. Please keep it up! You have helped my family so much, as I am sure many many more!!

We started DD almost 2 months ago, and already it has made so many things clear, it has shown my husband what I need from him, and of course grounded me in security instead of feeling like I had to control everything and the anxiety that accompanies that.

A week ago, I discovered my husband has a problem and has been cheating on me for over a year! Without getting too involved in details, I'll just say instead of getting angry and leaving him like I have scriptural grounds for, I chose to forgive him, because if the tables had been turned, that is how I would want to be treated. It took only a few days with lots of prayer and God's help to talk out the biggest issues. It will take a long time to completely overcome the insecurity and pain his affair has inflicted, but bless his heart he his determined to prove to me his love and loyalty. I know many people reading this will think, "Girl, get out! RUN!" But we are going to make this work, and Our love for God and faith in him, along with the DD lifestyle are accomplishing so much.

We start Boot Camp in 3 days. I am nervous. But looking forward to the benefits I know it will bring our relationship.

Thank you so Much for this Blog Clint.

Question. While browsing the variety of DD Blogs over the last couple of months, I came across one a while back where the wife was the author, her husband had had an affair previously and actually got the woman pregnant. I think it had been like six years or so...anyways they decided DD would help her restore trust and confidence in him, and help him with his headship and leadership. (Sounds so familiar!) And now I cant find it and was hoping you or someone could help me, I would like to follow it, as I believe I can relate. I'm not sure where I found the link to the blog, but I think it was either from your blog, or Red Booty Woman's, perhaps a link from a link...Does it sound familiar to you (or anyone?)

-Thank You For Everything
-Annie Arthur-Chance

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this Clint. I'm still curious if you have advice from the opposite perspective: How can the HOH express to his wife (or partner) that he wants to try DD without coming across as barbaric?

Learning Domestic Discipline said...

@Another Anonymous - I think the most important thing is that you recognize your personal faults and are taking initiative to address them. It takes a strong, secure person to do something like that, and it's very admirable.

Don't be afraid of your husband accepting this lifestyle and having the willingness to help you correct the faults you wish to correct in yourself. That's a GOOD thing. The idea of DD can be scary at first, but I'm confident that when you get through your first few punishment experiences, you'll both be so thankful you had the courage to take this step.

Good luck to you both with the lifestyle, and I wish you continued progress towards a healthier, happier marriage.

@Dave - Hello Dave. It certainly sounds like you have a difficult situation on your hands. I can tell you're frustrated and a bit discouraged, but it's not uncommon for couples to have these stints of difficult times with their DD practices. If you both want this to continue being a part of your marriage, I encourage you to stay strong and continue enforcing the rules as you see fit. She's testing the limits so that may be difficult for you to do in the short term, but there's no doubt in my mind you two will get past this if you work together.

I'd suggest you both discuss and re-evaluate the state of your marriage, and re-evaluate the Domestic Discipline aspect of it. Is DD helping? Is it beneficial to you both? Do you both still want it to be a part of your marriage going forward? If the answer is yes to all those things, then talk about your expectations of each other and how you both want to proceed with Domestic Discipline. If the answer is no to any of those things, then you need to decide if you want to continue "trying" to make DD work in your marriage. If it's causing more harm than good, then it's not worth continuing on with it.

I believe you two can get past this, but you have to communicate with one another and work together to achieve the goals of the marriage that you BOTH want to achieve. It takes two to do this correctly, and you both need to be committed to it. If either of you aren't fully committed to it, then it simply is not going to work.

Hang in there and stick with it. Everyone goes through difficult times with DD, but it's how you both handle the difficult times that shows your true character and commitment to the lifestyle. I certainly wish you the best in getting past your little bump in the road.

-- Clint

Learning Domestic Discipline said...

@CP - I'm so happy to hear that you and your husband are making progress. I enjoyed your comment and your story, and I'm sure it will help other wives going through a similar situation. Sometimes all it takes is a little persistence for things to pay off.

It sounds like you're on the right track, and I wish you continued success on into the future. Thank you for taking the time to comment and for sharing your thoughts/experiences. All the best to you, CP.

@Another Anonymous - I can tell you're conflicted with the emotions you're experiencing, but it's really very simple - if you and your husband are happy with the changing dynamic in your home and marriage, then continue moving forward with what you're doing. If you and/or your husband is unhappy with the changing dynamic, then stop moving forward with what you're doing. It just seems you're over-thinking things and it doesn't have to be that way. It simply isn't necessary to do that. Keep things simple for now, and if/when your husband wants to give DD a try, THEN start discussing between the two of you how to make improvements in your marriage.

Good luck to you.

@Annie Arthur-Chance - Thank you so much for the kind words about the blog. I'm so happy to hear that you enjoy it and have found it to be helpful to your marriage.

Infidelity is an extremely difficult issue to address/overcome in a marriage, but I can tell you and your husband are determined to get your marriage back on the correct path despite it. I certainly wish you two the best of luck in getting your marriage back to where it was, and where you both want it to be.

Unfortunately the blog you're alluding to does not ring a bell for me. Perhaps someone else would know what blog you're referring to. Sorry I'm not much help there. :(

Good luck to you, and once again I thank you for being a strong supporter of the blog. All the best, Annie.

-- Clint

Learning Domestic Discipline said...

@Anonymous (June 4th 9:58 PM) - You ask a terrific question. One that can certainly be a difficult situation to handle/approach.

The first thing I would recommend before discussing ANYTHING is that both the husband AND the wife agree to have an open mind about what they're about to discuss. Have your wife agree to at LEAST hear you out and listen to everything before she makes a snap judgment/decision about things. Once she agrees to that, then proceed with the discussion.

I think it's important to stress the DD elements of the husband protecting his wife/family, the husband providing for his wife/family, the husband leading his wife/family, etc. in the beginning of the discussion. Talk about the GOOD aspects of DD before talking about what people perceive to be the "bad" things (spanking, punishments, etc.) about DD.

It's so easy to focus strictly on the punishment aspect of DD, particularly spankings, but when bringing this idea to the wife I would recommend discussing that element of the lifestyle LAST. If you mention that right out of the gate, that's all she'll think about the whole discussion. So, rather than do that, talk about how you want to help improve upon an already good marriage, you want to handle conflict resolution in a more mature and constructive way so there is less arguing, and you want to do your part in protecting/providing for/leading your family.

Once you get to the punishment part, answer all questions she may have about them, and provide informational resources about them. That may or may not be this blog, but find something you agree with to present to her when she starts asking these questions. Give her time to "soak in" all this information, and give her time to consider and make a decision on whether or not she wants to consent to DD being a part of her/your marriage.

It's not an easy thing to talk about with someone who has never heard of such a thing, or someone who may be presumptuous about the lifestyle not fully understanding it, but if approached calmly and with the appropriate preparation, it can be done constructively.

I hope this helps! Good luck to you in getting your wife on board with the DD lifestyle.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Hey Dave!

I know Clint has to be the neutral voice of reason, it's very tricky giving advice to ppl on this matter, and as the author of this blog he has to leave out any personal opinions. That's good.

But in my OPINION, as a wife, who also only started about 2 months ago, and has recently experience situations very similar to this:
Your wife is begging you to flip her over your knee!

As women, it is very very difficult to 'explain' exactly what we need and especially what we WANT, WHEN we need and want it. Giving into DD and being submissive is terrifying, if not only unnerving. As adults, we women can reason and express ourselves in a level-headed manner, describing in great detail every scenario we may encounter or how exactly we need to be 'taken care of' at that point. But in the heat of the moment, when we are still learning the whole dynamic, and boundaries, limitations, and lines, when we are feeling emotional and 'childish' we wives TEST YOU, and act out!

It is very difficult for us to say things like, "Hunny, I have a lot on my mind, I'm worried about everything right now. I can't seem to get a grip. I feel like I'm spinning out of control. It's really hard to give up my control and give it to you. I'm feeling resentful about it. Also, I would like to know if you will actually step up and take control when I need you too, so that I can have the freedom to 'lose it' and or defy you, and know you will be there to catch me when I jump off that cliff (and flip me over, reset my switch, warm my bottom, get me to do that soul cleansing crying and then hug me and tell me you got this, you're the boss you know what I need and you'll take care of me.)"-Yeah all of that, really hard to say.

We woman tend to wish our men can just read our minds. Sometimes We have a hard time even forming the words in our heads to express why we feel the need to "stomp around slam doors and get in your face" because sometimes we ourselves don't even know what exactly is wrong with us and what we could possibly 'need'. It usually takes a couple of drinks, or coming out of surgery waking from the sedative to be able to be in that 'tell all' state. But unfortunately that's not always realistic or recommended. Haha.

Women tend to try and signal or give 'signs' and 'hints' to what we're thinking and what we need so we don't actually have to SAY IT.

If you can't get your wife to open up to you and be brutally honest with you, try forming the words for her, asking her if the above is how she is feeling, or if that's close. Let her know she can be honest with you and tell you everything. And you have to be that honest with her too. DD is all about trust, baring your soul so she can bare her bottom to your bare hand, and you two take care of each others hearts.

If all else fails, if you feel comfortable, during her next tantrum, do what you have to to give her a 'good hard spanking' even if that means using strength and force. Yes DD is supposed to be consensual. But someone once said, "I consent to non-consensual spanking." Because: !)Sometimes it's hard to admit that IT IS what you need, and to comply. 2)Having your husband 'man up' and use his strength to take care of you and do what's necessary DESPITE how 'well' you are behaving, well there's no affirmation of his commitment quite like that.

Try and ask your wife if that's where she is in her head, and don't doubt yourself when she's 'asking for it' again.

-Binthere Dunnthat

Learning Domestic Discipline said...

@Binthere Dunnthat - First of all, I love the name you've given yourself. Very creative! :)

Thank you so much for your comment. It's nice to have others offer their opinions on matters such as this. I'm sure Dave will/does appreciate it, and I appreciate it as well.

All the best to you, Binthere.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

I have recently found this blog and have been reading it avidly for days, I am considering this approach as I feel that our marriage would benefit from it. In short my husband s a caring and loving man, too nice really, if I am honest I walk all over him! I have cheated on him more than once (he knows about this), I binge drink and embarrass him and I am very disrespectful to him, I am definitely the head of the house and in my opinion a lose cannon. I work in a mans trade and have a mouth like a trash can, not sure why he stays with me really!! I do love him but I constantly test him and I know it must stop. I am in my thirties so not sure if I can be steered down the right path before I destroy my marriage. I think DD would help me think before I act/speak but I am a wimp, scared of pain and even the maintenance spankings seem harsh and as for the advanced spankings, if hubby hit me full power I would snap in half as I am a dot and he is a big bloke!! Not sure I could keep still whilst I was spanked either, he has smacked my bottom jokingly before over clothes just in passing and it hurt rotten!!
Do you think it would be worth suggesting a DD relationship to hubby? I am worried that I am too wild to change but I really want to!

Learning Domestic Discipline said...

@Anonymous (June 11th 9:02 AM) - My goodness. It certainly sounds like there are a lot of destructive behaviors going on in your marriage. You've taken the first step towards addressing them though, which is admitting they're a problem and that you need your husbands help in correcting them, so that's a start.

I think DD would certainly help your marriage, no question. If you both can commit to this lifestyle, I think it would completely turn around your marriage for the better. Trust and emotional issues that stem from infidelity would be better addressed by a professional marriage counselor in your area, however all the other issues DD would help/correct. It would help you to respect your husband a whole lot more than you currently do, to be sure.

You can change, but Rome wasn't built in a day. It's going to take a great deal of time, effort, and patience. You can do it if both of you commit to DD and all it entails.

I wish you the best of luck. I hope your husband agrees to give DD a try because given the path you're currently on, I don't see things ending well when it's all said and done.

All the best to you.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Thank you for taking the time to reply, much appreciated. The more I read about dd and the benefits it seems to bring to a marriage the more I feel it may be for us. I think I need the support and direction that when I think back was missing from childhood, I am an only child and have been spoiled rotten all my life and have been seldom corrected. I think dd could help me focus on the important things in life. I have already started talking about dd with hubby, he is concerned that I won't fully engage with the programme as he cannot see me changing, he has not read up on the subject as I have and I think he would come around to it eventually. I also think that it may be difficult for him to administer the spankings as he would be afraid of hurting me but I would get him to read this blog for guidance, as scared as I am of taking a spanking I do feel that it needs to be hard enough to shock me into not doing what I did to deserve it in the first place again, I think this would be difficult for him if I started to cry but I understand that this may be necessary to get the message across. I am looking forward to the guidance dd may bring, I even feel that the corner time element would be beneficial to me, especially if it is done just after the initial talk but before the spanking is administered, I think that time would feel like an age as I considered what I had done to deserve it and what I was about to get, I have a feeling that dd could have me on the right path quite quickly ! Thank you for this blog

Learning Domestic Discipline said...

@Anonymous (June 11th 10:39 PM) - I can tell you understand the dynamic of a Domestic Discipline marriage and why various aspects within the dynamic are necessary. That's wonderful! There's no doubt in my mind DD would benefit you both greatly.

Hopefully it can become a reality for you soon! Good luck to you.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Wow, since I last posted on here june11 (anon), things have moved very fast. Hubby has signed on the relationship, I have very strict rules to follow (what I wanted), especially with money as I have gotten us into debt, I have had to she him the magnitude of the mess as he has now taken control of the money, all spend must be justified and when I am allowed money (to lunch with friends, go out drinking) I have to provide receipts/justify every penny spent, any change must be returned, I have no leeway on this whatsoever. The real test will come when I want something that I don't need, I have been told point black that the answer will be no and to not even ask! I am shopping with friends today with just money for bus fares, a drink and lunch, no money to buy myself anything, this will be hard, not looking forward to it but I feel really happy that I can't buy what I want anymore as I always felt guilty anyway after purchasing, especially as I hid it from him and dug the debt hole deeper. This should help with my spoiled brat problem (moods or tantrums will result in consequences and I have many). At the end of the month, my expenditure from beauty treatments such as hair nails, my gym membership, my luxury car loan and other things I have will be added up at the end of each month (strict count is being made, looking at it, I really have been spoiled). We have rules around household chores, I have to keep the house immaculate with hubby's assistance, again an area I want to improve in, I have asked him to be strict on this, I tend to do other things like go to the gym and spend hours on the net instead of keeping a clean tidy home. The main one is respect though, I have had a few watch your attitude remarks already and got my first spanking last night for a combination of swearing and messing with the washing machine when I had been asked to go with him for the swearing spanking immediately!! I was told why I was getting the spanking and was made to remove my undies, lift my nightdress and bend over our kitchen table, I was spanked hard with his hand until by bottom was on fire, I stayed in position all the way through and he cuddled me after it was over. He asked me how it was and by the look on my face knew that future spankings would need to be harder, he is still wary of hurting me too much and really does not want to make me cry but I explained that if he is to help me it needs to be much harder or longer as although my bottom was hot and I knew I had been spanked, I want to have a sore sit spot the following day to remind me and I want to feel that I cannot go through it again, thus making me think twice!! He has ordered a couple of wooden paddles from the Internet, noted fr their sting, he also wants a hard bottomed slipper so we will be slipper shopping this weekend. As I have been more obedient, respectful and somewhat constrained over the last few days we have both noted that we are closer, he thinks it is very strange but has given him the motivation to research about this more and I have to say he is really getting into it, I am so grateful that I stumbled across DD and ths blog.

Learning Domestic Discipline said...

@Anonymous (June 16th 1:28 AM) - It sounds like things are getting on the right track for you two. It takes time, effort, commitment, and patience, but I'm confident these things will get easier for you over time. Your marriage will benefit from it in the long run. No question. I'm glad you found this blog as well. :)

Thank you for sharing your story. All the best to you.

-- Clint

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