3:16 PM
Learning Domestic Discipline
We explain the Spencer Plan dynamic of domestic discipline and explain, in detail, what it requires of both partners in the relationship. You can read this article on our new website by clicking here.
Posted in: Domestic Discipline Dynamics
LDD's Weekly Recap: July 29th - August 4th
11 years ago
7 comments:
I think 'Spencer Plan's' main idea sounds good. On the face of it it is only fair that both spouses have to realize same rules and same consequences. I do really think a spanker should know for sure which feelings, shame and pains are caused by a punishment be it ever so deserved and necessary. But I cannot believe that 'Spencer Plan' can work. I think Domestic Discipline is an attitude to life. We have practiced CDD for years. I know for sure my wife needs the feeling of my leadership and the relieving feeling that I take on a responsibility for her and her mischief. CDD is only the consequence of her mindset and understanding of our roles.
In contrast I do not think that the question if and when implements are used is of secondary importance. Sometimes I have noticed that the extended length of carefully spanking with the palm of my hand works most effective. I have never given my wife more than two spankings in 1 day. I disagree the idea that a punishment must not handed out until the spankee has asked for it. I do really think it is not her job to ask for it.
Clint, thank you for your interesting posting. Certainly there isn´t just one way of doing it.
Best regards
Chris
Of course you don't agree with the Spencer plan. It wouldn't be as much fun for you, would it, to have your own ass whipped? Plus you couldn't use a cane on your sweet little wife. And, there would go that fun, as well.
@Chris - Yes, there certainly isn't a "one size fits all" way of practicing domestic discipline. I understand the concept of the Spencer Plan, but I feel it would cause more harm than good long term. A relationship with essentially two HoHs is just setting said relationship up for conflict and chaos, in my opinion. Of course, this concept was created many years ago and times have changed. It's important to keep that in mind.
Like you, I also disagree with asking for a punishment. I don't see how that is necessary or contributes to a healthy DD dynamic. Acceptance of the punishment is accomplished in the lecture, in my opinion. There's no need to add a bit of humiliation by requiring a partner ask to be punished.
I appreciate you taking the time to share your perspective. All the best to you.
@Anonymous (March 19th 2:07 PM) - My wife wrote this post, but I'll assume your comment was intended for me given the context of it.
No, it wouldn't be fun for me to get spanked, just as it isn't fun for my wife to get spanked. Neither one of us enjoy punishment spankings at all. That isn't the point of domestic discipline. The point is to avoid spankings by improving relationship components (communication, trust, intimacy, etc.) and improving actions and behaviors in both partners.
It's clear you haven't read many, if any at all, of the archived posts on this blog. It would be a good idea to read what's written before making assumptions about the lifestyle and those that live it. By doing so, you would at least sound educated on the subject when you comment in the future and would also have a better perspective of where the authors stand on the subject.
A good place to start would be with this post:
http://learningdd.blogspot.com/2011/04/what-is-domestic-discipline.html
If you have any questions, I'd more than happy to direct you to the post they're answered on, or answer them for you if they're not covered on the blog.
If I do not hear from you by then, I wish you and your family a very happy and healthy Easter weekend! All the best to you and yours.
-- Clint
Clint, I have read plenty of the posts on your blog, as well as the comments and questions on your forum (and some of the forum posts are disturbing, by the way).
I think you are being disingenuous when you claim that you both aren't getting some kind of enjoyment out of the spankings. I've read the interview where you assert you hate to spank Chelsea, and, well, I think you are not telling the truth. I find it implausible that either of you would live this lifestyle if you weren't getting a sexual charge from it. Why in the world would you subject yourself - if you truly hate it - to basically beating your wife if it wasn't some kind of BDSM play? And why in the hell would she subject herself to it, or, if she truly loved you, why would she subject you to doing something you hate? I mean, honestly, is she so incapable of controlling herself that you have to beat her? And I know you will object to my wording, but that is what you are doing, especially when you beat her with the cane (as explained in your advanced spanking protocol) to make her act better.
And speaking of sounding educated, you sounded somewhat ludicrous in one of your comments towards a poster who was concerned because his wife was running away when it was time for her spankings. You insinuated that there was something crazy about the wife's behavior. REALLY? Maybe there is something crazy about you and that woman's husband!! Did it ever occur to you that perhaps - just perhaps - the woman was scared?
So you see, I have read your blog and plenty of your comments. I just wish you would either be honest with yourself and admit you have a sexual kink (which is fine and dandy - it really is) or, if you insist it isn't enjoyable, that you would seek professional help for the abuse you are propagating.
P.S. If you truly wanted to avoid spankings, you wouldn't do maintenance spankings. And, once again, to assert that you both live this lifestyle yet dislike the spankings is unbelievable. You are both grown-ups. If you don't like it, find another way to work through your problems. Otherwise, your behavior and reasoning aren't logical.
I would also like to add, and this will be my final comment, that I like dominant men and am married to one. He would never hit me beyond the playful spankings that we do engage in (which is how I found your blog in a roundabout way). I think he would consider having to beat me to get me to behave to be a weakness in himself, one that would signify his lack of leadership ability. He doesn't need to hit me to lead our home. It's sad that you somehow feel that it is necessary in your own marriage.
@Anonymous (March 26th and 27th, 2013) - It sounds like your mind is made up. Unfortunately I don't think there is anything I could say at this point that would be helpful to you, or that would make you happy. It appears it would be a waste of my time to answer your questions, so I'll simply say that your assumptions about us are incorrect (not that you believe me, apparently), and I'll just leave it at that.
For whatever reasons you chose to read the blog and join the forums, I thank you for doing so and you're always welcome to come back at any time. Our door is always open, and we'd be happy to help in any way we can with your domestic discipline journey (if you every choose to go that route).
I wish you and your family nothing but success and happiness in all that you choose to do.
All the best to you and yours.
-- Clint
Being single, I am on here out of interest in this lifestyle. I would certainly benefit from punishments from spanking to flogging and beyond. I have behaviours, like drink too much, not focus on tasks, late often...all these negative things could be changed if I had punishments that lasted with me to make me reflect. This is needed to be more than just a light spanking or would not be effective. This is what I believe anyway - and reading this I think the point is all are different...
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