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Posted in: Removing Privileges Punishment
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Saturday, May 7, 2011
The Removing Privileges Punishment
Posted in: Removing Privileges Punishment
Posted in: Removing Privileges Punishment
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17 comments:
For us it is panty and bra privleges that I take away from my beloved. She feels exposed and vulnerable when she's not all allowed to wear. A great reminder of misdeeds. My neighbors and a friend are notified these days and we check up throughout the day by slipping a hand in - at the house, in the garden, at the gas pump, in a store - wherever we see her - to make sure there's obedience.
@Anonymous - Interesting. While I disagree with your way of doing things and personally don't see how those methods could be considered loving, I'm glad you two could consensually agree on these methods of punishing.
All the best.
-- Clint
what?????? Anonymous are you serious, or screwing with Clint to get a reaction???? If this is really part of your dynamic I don't understand how you could gain anything from reading LDD. I'm not judging here I have many friends that practice BDSM and i have participated my self in the past. It seems that yours is a Master/slave or Dom/sub arrangement??? What could you gain from reading this blog, and why would you post that to the comments???? maybe you havent read the entire blog to know it has nothing to do with BDSM.
OR you are someone really trying to get a negitive reaction from Clint. Sorry if I am suspecious person, but it just seems odd to me that anyone would post a comment like that on this blog.
Priceless.
I am sorry if I offended. Absolutely not BDSM. Everything in our marriage is consentual and it was my wife who indicated that removing those privileges would be the only significant privilege removal for her personally. We have done it maybe 5 times in a 12 year DD marriage so not often. The rest of Clint's suggested list was not consequential to her. The key to us is that we agree upon it as our goal is to better ourselves and each other in a loving relationship - but with a firm hand. Scripture is fairly clear on "who should wear the pants" in a home!
Uh huh...
While the removal of the priviledge of wearing undergarments is something between the two of you, do you really expect anyone to believe that your NEIGHBORS participate in ensuring her obedience by sticking their hands inside her clothing??
You're full of it!
Anonymous said "do you really expect anyone to believe that your NEIGHBORS participate in ensuring her obedience by sticking their hands inside her clothing??"
I thought the exact same thing. I just discovered this blog. My husband and I are very private with our DD lifestyle and I was looking for a blog that was more centered around the 'husband/wife' aspect that is actually lived out and not just dabbled in or used for a sexual need. So when I read that post saying he alerted the neighbors... ummm... whoa. To each their own, but for me personally I wouldn't take anything outside of my marriage. And that just stepped over into fantasy land.
We use only cell phones what I have done in the past is to take away my wife's smart phone and but the sim card in dumb phone with no internet or text functions.
I have found it most effective when my husband bars me from using the computer, it helps concentrate my mind wonderfully. As a deterrent it is extremelh effective, it fixes things in my mind more firmly than anything else.
@Anonymous (February 25th 9:16 AM) - Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate you taking the time to comment.
All the best to you.
@Anonymous (May 16th 10:17 AM) - Thank you for taking the time to share your experience. I really appreciate it.
All the best.
-- Clint
I'm an HOH and I have to say that what other punishments you give and privileges you take away depends largely on your wife and what she does or does not enjoy. For example, my wife LOVES to eat delicious tasty foods and dine out. So, when she's in trouble and breaks a rule (something that doesn't rise to the level of a punishment spanking), she gets grounded - and part of it is that she can not go out eating with me or anyone. She's pretty much stuck at home and with the food that is avialble in the kitchen, meaning that I don't allow any take out or anything remotely tasty. If I ground her for a week, she will have only wheats (no butter or anything), oatmeal (no toppings), breads, vegetables (no sauces or seasonings), rice (no seasonings or sauces), sugar-free, or bland foods so to speak and can only have water to drink. This to her is far worse than not being being able to watch movies for instance, or anything else for that matter. So it is VERY effective. Whenever I grounded her in the past before I figured this out, while she hated not being able to go out, it wasn't as big of a deal to her because she doesn't mind staying home as long as she gets to eat tasty foods (take-out from nice restaurants etc). So once I figured this out, I decided to be more strict so that the grounding would be more effective. It has had wonderful results. She HATES when she is ever grounded and hardly ever misbehaves now knowing that she might get punished with this (I think I've only had to do this three or four times and then while she starts to cry and asks me to spank her instead, she realizes and accepts it and learns from it). She can eat as much as she wants but it is a restricted/limited list of foods (nothing that is detrimental to her health though - it actually is healthier!!). But anyways, the point is you have to find out what she likes in particular and take that privilege away - something that would really get to her and get her thinking next time she tries to misbehave. I think it is good to be creative too and mix things up - so I appreciate you blog/comment in which you decided to take up maintence spankings to do somethign different. Do you have any other creative ideas/suggestions? Is the above way of punishment OK to you/do you see anything I shouldn't be doing? Thank you for your blog and advice.
Oh my Lord, Anonymous! I think that that is the worst punishment that I have EVER heard of. Not that it is cruel or anything. I would just hate it. :) That would be so much worse than receiving a spanking or losing computer, television, or even cellphone privileges. I think I would starve to death. Boy, I REALLY hope my HOH doesn't read this. I'm sure that I would be very sad.
@Anonymous (June 21st 6:12 PM) - I agree that punishments, in some instances, vary based on what your wife does or does not enjoy, however when it comes to basic human needs (food, water, shelter, restroom, etc.), I would advise against depriving necessities from anyone.
I understand you're simply depriving your wife of what she considers to be tasty foods, but food is something she needs to have. Food isn't a privilege. It's a need. She's still eating and I understand that, but, in my personal opinion, the punishment you described is rather cruel and teeters on neglectful. With all due respect, I simply cannot agree with or condone such a punishment. There are better ways to punish your spouse.
Not allowing her to go out to eat is one thing. Removing her favorite foods and drinks while in the comfort of her own home is another. I would encourage you to reconsider such a punishment, but in the end, if your wife consents to this, the choice is yours to make.
Thanks for sharing your experience. All the best to you.
@Anonymous (July 19th 5:19 PM) - I hope for your sake that your HoH does not read it either. Or, if he does, that he doesn't consider doing such a thing as punishment.
All the best.
-- Clint
You focus an awful lot on the wife's mistakes, but what about the husband's? I mean, how would you handle a situation where the husband did something that severely hurt the wife's feelings?
Personally I disagree with DD relationships. Mainly because the likelyhood of things spinning out of control as a lot of people may not be able to handle having control over their spouse very well. I think abuse may come from this idea.
@Anonymous (July 26th 11:19 AM) - You ask an excellent question - one that has been ask frequently on this site and one that has been addressed at length twice on the site. One post was written by my wife, and one was written by yours truly. You can find those posts by following these links:
My wife's post: http://learningdd.blogspot.com/2011/06/womans-perspective-what-if-my-husband.html
My post: http://learningdd.blogspot.com/2012/06/faqs-husband-accountability-edition.html
I respect your opinion of Domestic Discipline and I appreciate you offering your opinion in a respectful manner. A DD lifestyle certainly is not for everyone. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.
I wish you nothing but the best in all that you do going forward.
-- Clint
Well, I completely blew it last night. I was supposed to be home after a friend's party by 7:00 pm but forgot about letting my HOH know and went out with a group of single gals and guys. I didn't get home until 11pm. When I got home, I felt like I was a teenager again breaking curfew. My HOH was furious but all he did was say that I was irresponsible and in trouble; he made me hand over my keys and said I wouldn't be needing them for awhile. He also said he'll need to think about my punishment. I was nervous today but he hadn't said anything. I know it'll be a punishment spanking but not sure how severe and probably a huge lecture and a lot of questions about what I did, etc. I had a little to drink (which was allowed) but I don't think he'll like the idea of a bunch of single men with us. He may be doing his own research/investigation first as one of his friends was there. Anyways, I know I messed up. I do have plans to go to a concert this weekend for labor day and camping. I sure hope he doesn't take those away. I will find out tomorrow:( Do you think this calls for a major punishment? You don't think I should be grounded from this weekend activities do you? I will be devastated.
Boss, let's add this one to the list of missed comments requiring your attention, okay? I've had the Mr. give me this punishment many times and its always effective, let me tell you. Yes sirree bub!
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