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The expectations and/or rules of the household should not have an "on/off" switch so to speak, and being injured, ill, or even pregnant (which is an entirely different situation which needs to be addressed entirely differently) is not an excuse for the wife to take advantage of the situation by disrespecting the rules of the marriage and/or home (or ignore them completely). The husband (or HoH) needs to ensure the integrity of the rules remains in tact at all times. By doing so, the harmony in the home will not be disrupted, which is very important in achieving long term happiness within the marriage and household.
In a situation where the wife is injured or ill, certain punishments simply may not be possible. It's recommended the husband (or HoH) use alternate forms of punishment to remain consistent in enforcing the rules of the marriage/household. The wife may display a behavior that, under normal circumstances, would constitute a spanking. However given her unfortunate condition, other punishments will suffice until the wife is completely healthy. These alternate punishments are to be chosen at the discretion of the husband (or HoH), with the best interest of his wife in mind at all times. This may mean having to remove privileges rather than spank, or write lines rather than do corner time, or some other more mild form of punishment to replace another that cannot be done, but the important point is that the husband must continue enforcing the rules of the marriage and home at all times. If he does not, problems would likely ensue and disrupt the dynamic and direction of the marriage and household.
The following paragraph was written under two assumptions - 1) the behavior displayed by the wife constitutes a spanking in the mind of the husband, and 2) the wife's expected recovery time from her injury or illness is one week or less.
The most common recommendation I give in a situation like this is one in which the husband holds his wife accountable for her actions each day with a mild punishment (such as writing lines, for example) each day until he is able to spank. This will serve as a reminder to the wife that her behavior was unwanted, dangerous or detrimental and she is being, and will be, held accountable for it. This reminder each day also serves as a deterrent from additional unwanted, dangerous or detrimental behaviors from her during that time frame. This will decrease the likelihood of any additional infractions from her, as well as decrease the likelihood of a repeat of the initial infraction. Then, once the wife is back to 100% health, I recommend the spanking be conducted.
The following paragraph was again written under two assumptions - 1) the behavior displayed by the wife constitutes a spanking in the mind of the husband, and 2) the wife's expected recovery time from her injury or illness is one week or more.
Holding the wife accountable with a small punishment each day is sufficient for up to a week, however if her expected recovery time is more than a week, then other measures need to be taken. It's unreasonable to hold the wife accountable each day for weeks upon weeks at a time. So, in this situation, I recommend the husband hold his wife accountable with a small punishment each day for up to a week, with the last day being the most intense day. By "the most intense day", I mean carrying out the punishment in a manner that is more lengthy, or more excessive, than the previous days. For example - for the first six days, remove TV privileges for four hours each day. Then on the seventh day, remove TV privileges for the entire day. The last day will serve as the "big punishment" so to speak, and will conclude the overall punishment. This is just an example of course, but it illustrates the overall recommendation.
An injury or illness to a spouse is never an easy situation as it is. Trying to incorporate Domestic Discipline practices while in this unfortunate situation makes things even more difficult. It's important, however, for the husband (or HoH) to continue enforcing the rules to keep the marriage on the right path. It's equally important that he do so while maintaining elevated levels of compassion, support and love to his wife. Getting her healthy is the most important thing, and keeping the harmony in the home is also extremely important. With the correct balance, this can be achieved with wonderful results.
This was the fourth installment of the Domestic Discipline Obstacles series. To view the first three, click on the links below.