Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Warm Up Spankings


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   We offer tips and recommendations on how to safely and appropriately conduct warm up spankings on our new website.  You can now find this article by clicking here.


Anonymous said...

Should this warm up be light or should it have a sting?

Learning Domestic Discipline said...

@Anonymous - It should have a sting. If you're using a wooden spoon, there will be a sting on the surface of the buttocks that is fairly intense, albeit briefly intense. If you're using your hand, the sting won't be as prominent, but there will still be an element of mild pain for the recipient. The intent of a warm up is not to give a solid and meaningful sting, it's to prepare the buttocks for the remainder of the spanking that follows to ensure there is no bruising.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

I have found that the practice of a warm up spanking very important to the application of disciplineand punishment for me. Warm ups help bring my emotions out in the form of tears and crying. At least in my situation, I have a high pain tolerance, so JUST spanking didn't "help" me alot.

Once we started using "warm ups" alot changed for me, the act of my husband "rubbing" my bottom after the warm up is usually the easiest and most effect way to bring on those emotions out for me, which always results in crying.
That simple gentle, loving act just about breaks my heart and I feel sooooo sorry for what ever I did.

Then, once the real spanking begins I can't rely on my high pain tolerance to "get me through", even a very mild spanking after I have started crying feels 10 times worse than it really is.

With out the tears he could actually do damage to me because I could take such a hard spanking, and that has resulted in alot of brusing.
When a warm up is done right for me you would think he was beating me with all the crying, but he actually doesnt have to strike hard at all.

Learning Domestic Discipline said...

@Anonymous - Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Your comment is wonderful, and I really appreciate you sharing.

You bring up two key points - the crying, and the importance of a warm up spanking to prevent bruising. Both are very important. Crying helps to release those emotions and "clean the slate" so to speak. The wife will feel a lot better emotionally after "crying it out." The warm up, if done correctly, will prevent any bruising which is always a good thing.

Great comment. Thank you so much.

-- Clint

Charlie1986 said...

I wish I could cry. I desperately want to during the spanking, or during the lecture, but I just don't cry very often. I have learnt to block it out over the years. perhaps this technique would help mu husband and I? I envy those women who can cry, I think it must very cathartic.

Learning Domestic Discipline said...

@Charlie1986 - In my experience I've found that women feel much much better when they cry after a spanking. It's really important to release the emotions, and crying can be that means to do so. Perhaps the technique I've outlined would help you. I've always said it's at least worth a try.

Good luck to you, Charlie1986. All the best.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

What do you recommend if the redness and stinging are not lasting more than 5-10 min, and she bruises easily? I think it has been about 15 swats or so..

LOL said...

Is there also a "cool down" afterward? I don't want to leave any bruises or physical signs that I'm abusing my wife.

Justin said...

To "LOL"-

If you're abusing your wife, needing a cool down period afterwards, etc. you may want to seek some form of professional counseling since you clearly aren't practicing or understanding DD correctly.

Anonymous said...

Let's please remember our manners. If kindness is your concern, respectful comments will be taken seriously, will open productive discussion and would model what you so strongly believe.

Anonymous said...

My wife gets warm up spakings. She gets 15 swats with wooden spoon wooden hair brush. .that is each butt cheek. She does cry . Then,the main spanking is with the belt. 20 lashes. By that poinr she is screaming and kicking.

Anne said...

I've been reading through your site and have a question. Very very new to punishment spankings and release spankings (mostly used to set up my day or when the hormones are too much - I'm diagnosed PMDD and believe me when I tell you this has made a huge diff this month) not sure I would say we are completely DD but many of the same ideas and ethics. So question - Would these warm up spankings reduce/prevent bruising? It happened for the first time today and I know that my spouse feels horrible. He wants the sting/reminder to remain so that I stay focused but I think maybe something isn't quite right. The cuddle time afterward is always so important even when I'm crying my eyes out (that release has no words) and wishing that I hadn't been so bratty. (Small insight - I was severely abused as a child and taken to live with my grandparents who did not enact any discipline at all - not their fault mind you - so my dear husband is setting boundaries and allowing me to actually take responsibility for my actions in a loving and safe environment) Whew. Don't know where all that came from. Guess I am really trying to find someone to tell me that this is normal and okay to allow him to help me through all the guilt and rage that has built up in me to come out with the release of tears. (I asked him by the way to help me in all this not the other way around) But I digress, I can't seem to find tips on preventing a bruises....maybe he's smacking too high up on my butt? (I just bought him a paddle prior it was hit belt and that never left a mark) Love your sight so much. Thank you for putting this all out there.

Adaline Raine said...

Hi Clint,
I just wanted to say that I posted the above using my middle name but have opened up on my own blog (I noted this on your wife's blog as well) I know you're really busy but if you get time can you reply on my blog? This comment got lost somewhere and took me eons to find it.
Thank you again for having such a wonderful site. Me and MDK are just starting out on this path.
Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Im new to dd and i just wondered about ur comment on not rubbing the butt afterwards. My hoh uses this as his "comforting" phase. When he is done paddling me he makes me stay in position as he rubs my butt and soothes me. So is it possible that such efforts can still be a part of the process without watering down the purpose?

Learning Domestic Discipline said...

@Bratty Adaline - I'm terribly sorry for overlooking your comment. It's hard to keep them straight sometimes. If you want to share the link to the post you're referring to, I'd be happy to reply on your blog.

Thank you for the kind words as well. Your support means so much to me. Again, I apologize for the incredibly late response to your comment. It was not intentional, I assure you.

@Anonymous (August 3rd, 9:19 PM) - It's certainly possible, however I recommend against immediate rubbing after a spanking as it subdues the correcting influence a bit (the sting), thus reducing the full long-term potential of the correction. For more about the issue of rubbing, I encourage you to read over the following post:

It discusses all aspects of rubbing the buttocks before, during, and after a spanking, and why my recommendations are what they are.

I hope this helps, and good luck to you in the future.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

How should I handle it if my wife covers her buttox during a maintenace spanking? (2-5x per week at different times) Sometimes when I have caught her in a lie (ie Did not do something she said, or threw away a burnt dinner)She avoids & procrastinates the punishment spankings. This is becoming more problematic. Does she require more frequent or perhaps more severe maintenace spankings? I have noticed that when I increase the #/strength of punishment spankings from 20 to 30, she is more obedient for a longer period. Thank You CLINT! YOU HAVE SAVED OUR MARRIAGE but in Gods name, I still need your guidance and HELP!

Learning Domestic Discipline said...

@Anonymous (August 14th 6:13 AM) - That's quite the compliment you have given to me - thank you so much. It's nice to know I've helped/"saved" at least one marriage out there.

I assume your wife is "covering her buttocks during a maintenance spanking" with her hand, correct? I've written a post on how to address this problem, and it can be found by following this link:

It offers numerous options in getting this reaching problem corrected.

Efforts to avoid or procrastinate punishments spankings from a wife are normal, and actually a good sign (albeit frustrating for the HoH at times). That means the spankings are something she fears to a certain extent, which is good. The fear of getting spanked SHOULD be what helps her to think before she acts/speaks. With that said, it does sound like you need to increase the intensity of the punishment spankings if you're finding yourself having to spank upwards of 5 times a week (even if they are just maintenance spankings). Nobody should be spanking 5 times a week, maintenance or otherwise. If that's the case, the spankings clearly are not having any kind of impact on correcting behaviors and therefore need to be intensified.

I hope this helps and I hope things improve for you soon. Thank you, once again, for your very nice compliment. It means a lot to me. I wish you continued success and growth in your marriage for many years to come.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

My husband and I have just started DD. I was originally looking into erotic spanking since it has been a fantasy. While looking into that I found your site on DD. I initially dismissed the idea but it stuck in my head. I have a really really bad temper where I get worked up and fly into a psychotic rage. My husband came from an abusive family and is very passive and avoids conflict. I would start physically attacking him as well as being as verbally hurtful as possible and he would shut down and not fight back. When I would eventually calm down and act like a sane human being again I would be wracked with so much guilt. No one deserves to ever be treated like that and I would've deserved it if my husband left me. I am beyond blessed to have such a forgiving husband. We now have a solution (and a deterrent), I won't get by with my behavior and my husband has an acceptable recourse. I won't have to live with not being able to make up for the damage I've done and my husband now has more control.
We're still learning what to do. I would appreciate any advice you can give. We decided to start with a spanking right away. It wasn't effective and I almost found it erotic which is counterproductive to what we're trying to do. We then decided to up the ante the next day. We started with a warm up spanking of 20+ strokes by hand followed by a harsher spanking by hand followed by a spanking with a brush. It hurt but did not bring me to tears and i'm now very bruised and sore. I don't mind the being sore part but we're obviously doing something wrong. Help!

Blue Bird said...

Hi Clint,
Have you ever heard of a cool down spanking. Apparently it supposed to go, warm up, main spanking, cool down. If you have would you kindly explain to me it's purpose and what exactly it entails?
Thank you

Anonymous said...

Clint- First, thanks for such an informative blog! As to the warm up spanking, I'm a little confused. You say to strike with 3/4 strength around 20 times? Isn't that even more intense than a regular spanking where you recommmend 1/2 strength? I thought warm ups by defintition were less than the main event. I'm not trying to be argumentative, just trying to understand. Thanks again for a great blog, and any reply would be greatly appreciated.

Learning Domestic Discipline said...

@Anonymous (October 10th 10:51 PM) - I apologize for the late response. I'm just now seeing your comment.

There are a lot of things that could have gone wrong with what you have described. Did you take a two minute break between the warm up spanking and the "main spanking"? That's important in preventing bruises. When using the brush, your husband may have been striking too hard, or he may have struck too many times. It's difficult to pinpoint the exact problem, but my educated guess would be one of these things, or perhaps a combination of them.

I'm terribly sorry to hear about the bruising. I hope you healed quickly and the appropriate adjustments are made to ensure it does not happen again.

All the best to you.

@Blue Bird - It's not often that I hear of something DD related that is new to me, but I have never heard of a "cool down spanking." I've heard of a "cool down period" after a spanking, but never a "cool down spanking." I'd love to know what that is myself. I'm sorry I'm not much help.

@Anonymous (October 30th 2:55 PM) - You're welcome for the blog! Thank you so much for reading.

Warm up spankings and beginner level spankings are very similar, so I can certainly understand the confusion. The primary difference is the implement that is used. For a warm up spanking, it's recommended a hand or a wooden spoon be used, and for the beginner level spanking, it's recommended a hairbrush or a wooden paddle be used. Where a hand/wooden spoon is less dense than a hairbrush/wooden paddle, this keeps the sting on the surface of the buttocks, and therefore the pain from the spanking itself isn't as long lasting. Also, given the less dense nature of the implement, a little more strength is required to get the desired results. So the implement used and the strength in which it is used plays a big part in the "severity" of the respective spankings.

Also, a beginner level spanking is intended to correct behaviors, yes, but it's also primarily intended to help a couple familiarize themselves with spanking in general, and to help get them become comfortable with the IDEA of spanking. For some couples (not ALL, but some) it's a fairly light spanking. A warm up spanking is for those that are comfortable with spanking, and serves as a precursor to the "main" spanking which is far more intense. With that said, the warm up spanking is about the same intensity as the beginner level spanking since, generally speaking, couples that conduct warm up spankings know that they need to intensify a spanking (beyond just a beginner level spanking) to get any kind of change in behavior.

I responded to you very late at night, so I hope this all made sense to you. If not, I can try to clarify a little better if need be. Just let me know.

-- Clint

Anonymous said...

Clint (Nov 2nd 8:02) Thank you for the reply. Okay, I think I see your point. The implement really makes the difference. I was hoping it was a mistake and you actually meant to say reserving 3/4 strength and using 1/4! At the risk of sounding like a total wimp, I have to say that I'm a little scared to feel 3/4 of my husbands strength with just his hand, much less ANY kind of implement! He has spanked me with his hand and with a leather paddle several times. I feel some of those spankings were pretty painful. Certainly painful enough to change my way of talking to him etc. I recently asked him what percentage of his strength he thinks he has been using. He estimated only about 25%!!!! Seriously, I am afraid! I guess beginner level spankings build pain tolerance too?


Cat said...

@Queenie 5.Nov 9:27a - The estimates that Clint has given are just that - estimates. However, as Clint will tell you, there are variables such as how big/strong your husband is, how big you are, and your pain tolerance. All of these factor in and are different for everyone so 25% of your husbands strength might be 75% of another husbands strength.

Depending on how often you are spanked, you do build some tolerance which is one of the reasons, along with severity of punishment, that Clint has outlined different levels of spanking. Hope this helps.

Good luck in your journey,

Anonymous said...

Thank you Cat. I appreciate your commenting. I'm just hoping my husband takes your points into consideration when he reads this post.


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